Growing Old!

What is it about growing old that suddenly makes you invisible in society? It's something I have been asking myself lately, probably because I am getting old but also because of what I see and hear in the real world day after day in western culture! In some parts of the world being old is something to be celebrated, there is respect from the younger generation. Families come together to support their elderly relatives! Why such different attitudes I ask myself?

There is this idea that eastern cultures treat old people with more respect comes from Confucian values, which promote a positive view of aging, which then encourages younger generations to treat older adults with respect, obedience and care. For example several generations often live together under one roof. Western cultures on the other hand value youth and in a way pander to young adults. This idea comes from the idea that individual's worth is the idea that as they can work they add more value to society. Having these two opposing ideologies has led to the conclusion that eastern cultures are less ageist than western cultures. Whether this is true or not depends I guess on your point of view. I myself think that this is indeed true! Research has been done in this area, but there is a need for more data to confirm perceptions of older adults in different cultures!

I live in New Zealand and have been horrified by the amount of elder abuse that goes on and it is most likely the same in the UK which is my home country. Here in NZ approximately 1 in 10 older people experience elder abuse. 75% of those are family members and 50% are adult children or grandchildren. Alleged abusers are as likely to be female as as male! There is so much attention paid to child abuse which is of course right as it needs to stop but old people can be just as vulnerable too! The big question is how do we resolve this? Parents play a part in teaching their children that older people are deserving of respect and that they are valuable members of society. Governments and those in power also need to value our older generation and also give them more of a voice as well as more help and support!

I am 65 and hope that I don't have to experience any abuse just because I am no longer young. I know my generation respected our elders and I learnt a lot from them. We need to understand that we can also learn from young people in this way we can forge a bond between the generations which will benefit both young and old! Schools can also help young people by involving young and old in events and maybe even volunteering to help an older person with company, shopping, or even just by checking up on the elderly in their locality!

It's time to stop seeing older people as invisible, but see them as contributors to society throughout life not just when young. So next time you see someone older than you, smile and say hello let them know that they are valued. Even a smile can brighten someones day as you might be the only person they see all day. Loneliness can be a killer and every human being deserves care and understanding. You see one day you will be old and how will you feel if you are seen as invisible or abused? Old people have made huge contributions to society the least they deserve is to be valued and most all seen!!

Alexis Mundy