Get over it, huh?

I have a question for everyone. Currently I am in a situation I really don't want to be in. I have been told to suck it up, deal with everything the way it is because you can't control it and why do you care so much?

Background to the situation. My brother got into a relationship with his friends hair dresser. She is pretty and good at what she does. She also smokes pot which is a big deal to my brother because he smokes a lot and can never find someone that will just smoke with him. Well as soon as she was "on a break" with her current on again, off again abusive boyfriend, my brothers friend put in the word to both my brother and her. Mind you, my brother always had long hair, until he started getting his hair cut a lot more than need be.

They had only been talking for a few weeks when my brother's bestfriend was due to be married. She was asked to do everyones hair because of the obvious reason. My hair looked like a tangled mess on the top of my head because she does not know how to french braid. Oh well, too late to change anything by that point. Moving on. She was his date to the wedding, of course, and we all had fun. As much as we could. Whole other drama situation was going on aside from this story. But all went well and we cleaned (my mom and I with an assortment of others) up so the bride and groom could just leave and not worry. This part is relevant because we (me, myself and I) didn't notice any red flags at this point.

Fast forward a few more weeks and then the family drama started! Not my family, her family! Her and my brother had been together for a few months and all of a sudden her sister is in a relationship for 3 weeks and gets married! Well along with gettting married, all kids (her and her sister) were to move out and leave dear ol' mom and dad alone. You know, since everyone was making adult decisions. (roll eyes). With all of this happening, brother comes to me and asks if she can move in otherwise she will have no where to live. Me being nice, caring and open to someone helping with the bills, was all for it! Oh man was that a bad idea.

So I sat her down once her background went through in order for her to be on the lease, to talk to her about the bill break down. I shit you not, she cried! No reason for it at all! I was not being mean nor rough or anything of that manner. She just has a hard time with poeple telling her what is expected of her in order to live with them. I then found out that her income was $250 a month. She only had a phone bill. The rest of her money was spent on cigs, energy drinks and eating out everyday.

Background on bills real quick here. Rent was $800. That split 3 ways should have had us all at about $260 a month. Yep she couldn't pay that so my brother and I paid 300 each and her 200. That left about 50 of her income for the rest of the bills, right? Wrong! She paid for her habits instead. She was offically moved in in August. I wanted her out by October.

Not only did she have zero motivation to go to work the 2 days she was schedueled, she also had the hardest time leaving their bedroom. Which all in all means don't ask her to clean anything because that involved leaving the room. Awesome. We just moved another child in and she is older than me!

My brother and I talked many times before Christmas about how she is not helping, not paying bills and is very needy. He started to withdraw himself from her, which obviously did not work because she is still here! It has been over a year now, I am moving my son and I back home for so many reasons, but she is at the tip top of that list. My brother, son and I use to just up and leave to go do things. Biking, hiking or just go to thrift shops. That all ended because she has a hard time leaving the bedroom, let alone the whole damn house!

This woman uses her past as an excuse for everything. I mean everything! Not getting enough attention from brother? Her ex always with held affection so if he doesn't stand there (anywhere) and make out with her then she is upset the whole day or night. Woke up from a bad dream or not enough sleep? Calling into work because she emotionally came deal with anything. Can't take a bath while on her monthly? Gross. Then she is PMSing for the next 2 days regardless if it ended that night or next day. Brother not have sex with her when she wants it? she will convince or force in my opinion, him to have sex with her. Her excuse for that one, her ex made her have sex whenever he wanted so she never enjoyed having sex. He had total control over her body. Seriously? Is this really happening?!

My brother was a very out going person. He always made time for his family and friends. But ever since she has been here, he is not the same. And won't be until she is gone. That's not something i can control though so that is on him. He has made so many comments in front of her that would have changed any ones point of view about what was going on, a normal person anyways. Which she is not. After a 4 year abusive relationship that involved physical, emotional and mental abuse, she does not see or does not see it as wrong that she is now doing it to others.

All she does is sit in the bedroom, paint, watch Netflix and listen to Dr. Phil or true crime podcasts. She only cleans the bedroom. There have been many times where she leaves messes in the kitchen from snacking all night. Which was one thing we talked about when she first moved in. My son is 8, we get up around 6:30 a.m and go to bed around 9-9:30 p.m, so please be quiet after bedtime. I had to stop letting my dog sleep with my son because she would bark at her when she got up at 1 or 2 a.m to go to the kitchen. Really? Ugh! During a fight we had because she filled the trash can and recycle bin but didn't bother to take either one out, she told me to put her in the kennel at night. I snapped back and said why don't you stop going to the kitchen to eat in the middle of the night so those that work can sleep? She used her past as an excuse, along with crying. "well I got forced to eat with my ex, I would refuse and night time when he was asleep was the only time I could eat". I am a sympathetic crier, so of course, I am crying and trying to keep as calm as possible at this point. No one wants to talk to a crier. Known fact. People hate it. A lot. So now, after a year, with only a week left of living with her, I refuse to tell her to be an adult and take care of things that i have been for 2 years because my brother takes care of the rest. Nope, not doing it. Don't care.

Sadly, she knows what she is doing because she is a narcssist. She has been through a lot and now she will put my brother through even more. The amount of resentment I have for her is absolutely unreal. I am to the point I can't stand listening to her voice, being around her or even seeing her online on facebook. No one will understand the feelings I have for this person until you watch your whole family to tell you that you have to high of excpetations and to get over it. My mother even said I have a problem with my family members being in a relationship. He ex abused her for 7 years and if it weren't for her grabbing him in time, he would have thrown me down 2 flights of stairs. So, the answer is yes. I have a problem with my family members being abused. Point blank.

Currently, about maybe 20 to 30 minutes ago, the time it took me to type all of this, was something that started this whole rant. She said she has a new client today and she is tring to wake up to be motivated to go in to work today. I want to rip my hair out. She works only the minium to get by. My brother even made a comment, in front of her, that he is making more money then he ever has and is still broke. While looking at the bills, knowing that if he asked me to pay half I'd say no, with her standing right there crying because she hasn't worked in 2 months. My brother wants to be the man and pay for her, by all means do so. But don't kill and suffer in the process!

If you know any one like this, let me know I'm not alone! I certainly feel like i am! RG