Form A: Understanding What It Actually Meant for My Finances

I remember the email sitting in my inbox longer than it should have.

“Draft Form A divorce attached.”

I didn’t open it straight away.

Up until that moment, my separation had felt informal. Messy emotionally, yes. But still contained within emails, conversations, half made plans. Seeing Form A divorce written out in black and white felt different. It wasn’t just paperwork. It was a signal that finances were about to be pulled apart by a court timetable I didn’t fully understand.

What hit me hardest was the language.

“Financial remedy.”

“Disclosure.”

“Directions appointment.”

It felt as though my life was being translated into something technical and unforgiving.

I had assumed Form A divorce was just another step. A form you filed, then dealt with later. But once I took time to understand it, I realised it meant inviting the court into every corner of my financial life.

Pensions.

Property equity.

Savings I’d built before the marriage.

I’m not a high net worth individual, but we weren’t starting from zero either. Between us, there was a house with around £180,000–£220,000 equity, pensions in the low six figures, and ongoing questions about future income. Issuing Form A meant all of that became part of a formal dispute process.

I also learned something else.

Once Form A is issued, costs can rise quickly.

Solicitors warned me that even straightforward financial cases can drift into £15,000–£30,000 per person if they become contested. That was before any final hearing.

That was the moment I paused.

I’ll be honest.

When I was told I needed to attend a MIAM, my reaction was sceptical. It sounded like a box ticking exercise before court. Another delay.

I nearly skipped it.

But I went. Reluctantly.

The MIAM didn’t fix anything overnight. What it did was slow everything down in a way that helped. For the first time, someone explained what financial mediation actually involved, without pushing an outcome.

I was able to talk through my concerns.

What I was worried about losing.

What felt unfair.

What I didn’t understand.

No one told me what I should agree to. That mattered.

I’d assumed financial mediation meant compromise in the abstract. In reality, it meant structure.

We didn’t start with positions.

We started with disclosure.

Once figures were on the table, the conversation changed. We weren’t debating memories or blame. We were talking about spreadsheets. Pension sharing percentages. Housing options. What might be realistic for both of us.

That didn’t make it easy.

It made it calmer.

One thing that stuck with me was learning how courts view behaviour. A mediator mentioned a case, where the court criticised parties who refused to negotiate openly once the financial picture was clear. Costs consequences were real.

That was sobering.

I realised that pushing straight to court through Form A divorce wasn’t neutral. It was a choice with financial consequences.

Before mediation, I thought a consent order was just the final stamp at the end of divorce. Something you sorted once emotions had settled.

What I learned is that a consent order is what gives certainty.

Without one, financial claims stay open.

Even years later.

Understanding that changed my priorities. I stopped asking, “What can I get?” and started asking, “What lets us both move on?”

We’re not at the point of submitting a consent order yet. Timing still matters. But I now understand why it matters, and what it needs to cover.

That knowledge alone reduced a lot of anxiety.

If you’re completing a Form A, here are a few things helped me:

Read the form before emotions take over. Understanding what it triggers matters.

Treat a MIAM as information, not persuasion.

Financial mediation isn’t about being reasonable for the sake of it. It’s about testing options before costs escalate.

A consent order protects both sides, not just one.

Getting legal advice alongside mediation can be helpful. You don’t have to choose one or the other.

I used guides from The Divorce Circle to complete some of the paperwork myself, which helped me feel less dependent and more informed.

I still don’t pretend this process is simple. Divorce can be a difficult time in people’s lives. But facing Form A divorce forced me to understand the system rather than fear it.

For me, mediation didn’t remove disagreement.

It contained it.

And that made all the difference.

Note: This story is based on real experience. AI was used to help structure the piece. The final version was reviewed and added by a human.