Forever Mommy

You are placing bricks, one on top of the other, oblivious to the couples pressing their noses to the glass that separates them from you. The room on this side of the glass has many more like you, in all shapes, sizes, colours, and ethnicity scattered on tables, chairs and mats, playing and laughing unaware of the fate that awaits you on the other side of the glass. The couples on the other side are seated in a waiting room awaiting their turn to view from the glass and choose their prospective offspring. It’s a thrift store of the unwanted and used.

“We do not allow adoption to single parents, but you are an exceptional candidate,” the matron gushes as she ushers in a lady (who you will address as ‘mommy’ later). She is in her forties, divorced and has not had much luck in the baby department. But now the formidable forties make her crave for a companion, an heir, a little someone she can love. You with your bricks take her fancy and the door opens. The matron’s chubby face occupies the space before you and she smiles.

“Darling Nico your mommy is here to take you.”

Mommy? You look at her and then at the glass, where a lady with watery eyes stares at you, with all the love in the world. You hold onto the matron’s finger and go meet Mommy. She kneels and squeals, “Oh, look at you! All adorable in your little dungarees. Wait till mommy gets you home and you will look even more prettier.”

You hold onto the matron’s finger harder than usual. Is this Mommy okay for you? Where is Daddy, you wonder.

It takes a whole day before Mommy picks you up from the orphanage. You board her fancy chauffeur driven car and arrive at what she calls ‘home’. You know one thing; Mommy has a lot of money. The ‘home’ is a luxury, filled with things that make life convenient and the floor! You sit and move your palms around on the marble floor. You have never seen or felt something so clean, so smooth and so glossy that you can see your pudgy face in there.

“You love the Italian marble darling, how cute,” Mommy purrs.

She takes you in her arms and you regurgitate your mid-day meal. You are not used to car rides.

“Eww!” Mommy sets you aside reaching out for the wet wipes. Wiping herself and then you she decides to give you a shower. You come out all pink and fragrant dressed in a baby label you may have never known.

Next day mommy hire lady. “Baby, this is your nanny, she will look after you when am at work.” This is the Nanny number one. In the coming days there are nannies for every task in your life. Mommy is happy that you are well managed. You are happy that you are well fed, napped and warm. You were never attached to mommy anyways.

Days fly by and you start getting used to this life. But you know the saying- Plans are meant to be disrupted.

Mommy’s company goes bankrupt. Every comfort she owned, and you experienced is snatched away. Mommy and you move in with grandma. She doesn’t particularly like you. Not our blood she says. Mommy gets depressed and drowns her sorrows in alcohol. You are at least receiving three square meals, you assure yourself.

One fateful day, mommy drinks and drives, crashes her car and never comes home. Grandma is very upset. You stare at the people who come in days to follow. They console grandma and look at you with pity.

“What will you do now Gilda?” Someone asks.

Grandma just looks at you with grief filled eyes. She puts you to sleep that night. Next day you wake up and it all feels like a dream. You are back at tiny bed in a corner of a room shared with ten other kids like you. The matron smiles at you as she dresses you in the same blue outfit as before and places you in the corner of the playroom with some rings. The centre spot with bricks is now occupied by a new kid.

At that point you hope that this time you will get a forever mommy and the orphanage will place a ‘once bought no return policy’ on your head.