Finally... a Win

I knew it was a gamble when I stepped to the window. Just like all my other gambles, none of which worked out. Not one business, not one scheme, nothing. All I wanted, all I ever wanted was to be able to treat my girls like they should be treated. My beautiful wife, and the smaller version of her that calls me Dad. They need this even more than I do.

She put her foot down this time. Said that I had no business “playing the ponies.” That I’ve wasted most of my life on these "pie in the sky" schemes. That I was just a loser. I kept telling her that someday something will pay off. Someday. But that doesn’t stop her from yelling. Kept saying over and over that I would ruin us. Kept saying that this was the last straw.

I mean I understand her. I do. But she doesn’t realize I do it for her. I do it for the kid. They’re so damn important. And deserve so much.

This time, this time I have it. A key to it all. A way to win that’s guaranteed. A system so in-depth that it can’t help but win. I took the last thousand out of the account and headed for the track.

Went right to the window. Grabbed a race sheet. Pulled out my little black book. The one I found on the subway. The one with the system in it. Whenever I look at the meticulous handwritten notes I always wonder who lost it. Whether they missed it. Whether I’ve doomed someone else to that sad sack schlub life I was living. Whether that person realized they could be a winner.

Sat down and ran through the calculations. I could see the smiling face of my wife when I came home with the money. I could see the pride in my daughter’s eyes. Sixth race, the predictor picked a longshot. 20:1 odds. This was my chance. I wrote down the numbers so I didn't mess it up, and went back to the window. I had plenty of time. I watched the other races waiting. The predictor picked the winners each time. I knew it was finally my time.

The race finally came around. I paid close attention. Coming out of the gate, my horse was dead last and I thought for sure I was cursed. But slowly, step by step, inch by inch, that horse gained ground. Until it was just him and one other horse puffing and running, side by side, strain evident through every muscle on each horse’s body. Coming down to the wire, neck and neck and as if my heart wasn't bad enough it ended as a photo finish. My face flushed as stress ate away at every ounce of my resolve. I took our last thousand dollars. I didn't pay the house payment this month and she already said she wasn’t going to her Mom and Dad to borrow money again.

Second after agonizing second I waited. Was I the hero or was I the goat? Was it screaming and yelling and fights that woke our neighbors or was it relaxed smiles and self assurance that I could pay her parents back this time.

It was finally announced. Aktihokan Annie won the race. Wait, was that my horse? Did I win? I can't remember. I checked my ticket. Checked it again. I won!

Sauntering up to the window, collecting my money. They had to get it out of the safe. I was all smiles as I headed home, twenty thousand dollars richer.

I pulled into the driveway and the house was dark. That was odd, I thought, but nothing could dampen my mood. I was finally a winner! All those years of pain and I could finally show something for it.

I unlocked the door to a silent house. An empty house. Still as a tomb in there. I shouted for Nancy. No answer. I shouted for Beth. Nothing.

I sprinted through the whole house. No one. Deathly silence all around me.

Found a note on the kitchen table. “Can’t take it anymore. We’ve gone to my parents. Please don’t contact us. I will reach out through my lawyer.”

I didn’t even remember the cash I was holding until it slipped to the ground as I started to cry. I was still, all in all, just a loser.