Fairytales or Morals

Do you believe in fairytales? Growing up as a child, especially being a female, I absolutely adored fairytales. Though, I constantly dealt with an internal struggle regarding them. I have always loved the idea of falling madly in love with your soulmate and living "happily ever after", but didn't quite understand why the "princess" always needed "prince charming" to come and rescue her. Aren't we teaching our children to become co-dependent if we constantly reiterate that? While being in love is a magical thing that most people do not even get the chance at experiencing, we shouldn't send the message that a man needs to "rescue" you from life to make your life have meaning. Sorry, Mr. Disney, it's 2021.

While I am fully aware that since I was a little girl the Disney empire had made movies that showed females as powerful as Mulan, but that was after my Disney age. So what about all of the little girls that had that way of thinking pounded into their heads throughout their adolescence? Obviously, I can only go off of my personal experiences and say it caused me to have the belief that I needed to stay with some very bad individuals who took solace in the fact that I was always too afraid to leave. They had initially "helped" me with whatever I was going through at the time we had met. So much so that I've had my cheekbone broken and still stayed; even walking around looking like a monster for months until it looked fairly normal again. I didn't even see that much wrong with it because he said he was sorry and in love with me. It took me a very long time and a lot of therapy to realize that was not okay and I didn't owe any of these guys anything for whatever they may have done to benefit me at one point in time.

I never got to have a baby girl like I had always imagined. It wasn't my fate. Instead, two boys. Like most boys, they weren't too much into fairytales, but are familiar with most. I have told my boys to always respect females, but don't ever think they're better than them at anything for any reason other than pure skill. There could be one female who can weld two pipes faster, cleaner, and with a stronger hold than them, while they can make the most delicious teriyaki chicken and steak that anyone has had the pleasure of tasting. Your gender role should not ever make you believe you need the opposite sex, regardless of anything. I wish that someone made a bedtime story projecting that point. Should you support and love your partner for their talents, no matter what they are, even if they aren't gender assigned correctly? Absolutely.

My father taught me how to take care of myself. He had me next to him watching and being his helper during car maintenance and repair, home repair, and everything in between. I have changed my mother's copper pipes to PEX in her basement, worked on numerous vehicles, and remodeled a bathroom after he passed away. I hope he would be proud. At the same time, I can make one mean Boston Cream Pie from scratch and my baked ziti will knock your socks off! I am very proud to be a woman and enjoy the "female" things like going to get a pedicure and having my nails done. I also love diagnosing why your check engine light is on in your car. I'll totally come help you work on your vehicle or house. More than likely, I'll be in heels doing it though.

I still love fairytales. We do have to have something to believe in after all. If not, life would be pretty dull. I hope nobody actually goes into a fight about sexism within the stories and bans them. All of that is way too out of hand. Honestly, anyone could find an issue with anything if they look hard enough. The wholesomeness of a Disney movie is a wonderful thing, as long as you teach your children it's not reality. That's the main part that is left out, unfortunately. Nobody really spoke about this to me throughout my 36 years here except one, single occurrence with my dad. I remember him looking at my movies and, while holding up Snow White, he laughed and said, "Thank God you know this is all make-believe! You can't expect someone to come along and save you every time something happens. You gotta go out there and save yourself.". I wish I had remembered that a long time ago. It wasn't until about 2 years ago that I had thought about him saying that. I was in the process of finding myself and loving myself for me. That was some top-notch advice to give a 7 year old. My dad probably never thought about that statement again and I can see it clear as day in my head. Thank you, Dad. You don't know what that has done for me.

On the flip side of fairytales sending the wrong message, the authors have really stepped their game up nowadays. There are stories that teach young girls to be strong women out there now. Those are the ones that I hope my brother reads to my two gorgeous nieces. Not all fairytales set off bad precedences. I just hope the youth of this day and age can distinguish the difference. That's where our roles as parents come in. Parents need to pay more attention. Think about all the wrong principles that our children are being taught. So many of us are "too busy" to even see them half of the time. It's time to be more proactive in the values our children are learning. After all, a child's first teacher is their parents. Keep that in mind as you're purchasing their next bedtime story. You'll be grateful that you did.