F.U.B.A.R.

Hello, I'm April and this is my weekly podcast. As we all know, life is, well fucked up and shit happens to all of us. In order for life to move on and get over my old, tired story I started this podcast to get it over with once and for all. I tell my life story the way I see it. Starting with as far back to birth as I can recall. Which, went very fast as from birth to about 8 or so I don't remember. What I do remember is bits and pieces and feelings. I started life as a regular, loving child. Not knowing right from wrong, up or down, or anything in between. Which as we all know, that's a baby for ya. As life goes on and we grow, we start learning, fear, loss, pain, anger, and well life. This podcast follows me through the years, things I experaneced, and what has brought me to whom I am. It also tells you of the things I've done, done to me, and the results of all those actions. I grew up in Riverside California, in the Wood Streets. That is the very nice older homes close to the really bad section of town. Have you ever noticed that? They will have a well off but not rich, middle-class family housing track. Yet right down a couple of blocks, it's a run down very cheap, really old homes and nothing but homeless and the poor. I sometimes wonder if they offer up these housing tracks to keep the poor away from the super-rich neighborhoods? Well, I'm getting off track now. I was born into a poor family, with a little towards the upper-middle class. My mother fell in love with a cook and had my brother and myself. My mom came from upper-middle class and my dad, poor white trash. As you can guess, mom left dad for her life back. Grandpa worked on top-secret planes for the airforce. I think grandma was a homemaker. Mom and her brother, spoiled brats. The rest I guess is really history. No one talked about what life was like, so I have to guess. Instead of guessing, I write about my past and try to stop blaming my past, for my fucked up shit now. I'm a huge fan of Gary John Bishop, so I want to give him credit where it is due. I want to move on with life, forget and forgive the past and live in my present. No blame or boogie man. Just me and my very fear-driven decisions. Those of which I wish to change from fear to in the moment, present in the present, no blame and no shame, best life I can. This is in no way, shape, or form is easy. I lose sight and start fights. Bring up the past to hurt those who hurt me. Well as we are learning or I’m learning, that will never work! As you will see, hear in my videos that come with this! So I’m this, I am introducing myself and how I live my life and what I do with problems and things that come up. Like I said, growing up in the woods streets of Riverside, California I was kind of in the middle there, I was not rich I wasn’t 100% poor, but I was somewhere in the middle, leaning towards poor! It was my mother my brother and myself living in this house and it was an amazing house! Huge yard in the back, kind of a small yard in the front and older house one of those Sears roebucks, kind of houses but maybe a little later date! When my son was younger not too too young I think about route 65 or six or something like that we lived in A seers roebucks house. Right next-door was a girl I grew up with a Lisa, and we were good friends then, but then she married my uncle and I got really weird! But like I said I mean there was a lot of stories back in the day mostly I’m trying to get the ones out that were more traumatizing, so that I can put them behind me once and for all. I’m doing this is a healing because living in the past is not good for you, and I want to get it all out once and for all and be done with it! Actually I didn’t know I’d have to type the entire episode as well! I’m really rusty so forgive me! But hey this is only the second time, okay maybe the fourth time of resubmitting! Walk this with me and enjoy the show. So without further ado, I give you, F.U.B.A.R.