Every October

I remember that day.
A minor fever turned into cancer. I was crying holding her reports in my hand, but she was very calm as if she realized that her stay in this world was short. She told me, speaking like a robot, that I have cancer and I am in the last stage, oh my daughter.” As she said this, her eyes filled with tears. How ruthless cancer is and how unaware we are.

When my sister’s little daughter,

was only one and a half years old.

She was sleeping quietly in my arms.

She still didn’t know.

Where was her mother, why wasn’t she showing her.

Why were they all speaking in whispers.

My sister left this world too soon.

The cruel hands of cancer took her away from us.

And I was not alone that night.

Both her daughter and my grief were watching her go with sad eyes, their heads on my shoulders.

Her daughter looked at me, and then started crying. Within a few days, she started calling me Mama.

What my sister said still makes me cry. When I started talking about her daughter to distract her, she stopped me and told me not to mention it. I asked her if she missed her.
She spread her arms with all her strength and said, “I miss her so much, but she is so young, and I don’t want her to touch her mother who has cancer.
Take good care of her.”

That her real mother

was now just a memory.

A voice that I still hear in my dreams.

I feel it,

A chill in the air

Now my sister’s daughter is nine years old and sees her mother’s picture every day,
She talks to her as if she were still with her.
She says, "Mom, where are you!
And maybe... the wind carries her voice to the sky.

Somewhere the mother is smiling too.
Only a mother can tell you better what it feels like to see your little one grow,
A strong and bright, captivating feeling like we all dream but we never know where we will be the next moment.

This is not just a story of separation.
This is a story of love that never ends and longing keeps growing. That love between me, my sister and her daughter will definitely be found again.
The love that even cancer could not end.

Every October

Like pain, it returns like a cold wind.

My sister's carefree laughter echoed in the air.

The sound of her soft voice

And everything that was hers.

Now her daughter is growing up.

And sometimes in her eyes

I see a living image of my sister.

In her eyes the passion for living

The worry for her daughter

And a silent reminder,
For me,The love that never forgets.It only changes form.

And lives on in hearts.
I miss our time playing with each other, laughing together, eating together, going to school, all the joys we shared together. I can never forget my sister.Life is nothing without siblings. I don't remember ever forgetting my sister. I still remember the longing hidden in her eyes. The pain that was in a mother's eyes when she left her daughter, no one can understand. After some time, my mother also left us because she couldn't bear the separation from her daughter. She often sat and cried remembering her. And she used to say how cruel cancer is. I wish it wasn't a disease of us humans.

I pray that no sister is separated from her because of cancer, no daughter is afraid of her mother's love, and no mother gives up on her daughter because of cancer. (Amen)

Make people around you aware of cancer and teach them to recognize the symptoms.

So that no mother, no daughter, no sister is remembered as a memory.

Thanks for reading 💐

Note

I wrote this poem in memory of my beloved sister.

Who left this world too soon.

Every October reminds me of her gentle smile.

Her love

Some wounds never heal. They only breathe with words.