Empire

Gloria stood behind the counter with her arms crossed, her left thumb and forefinger rubbing her sleeve.

“I didn’t ask you to do this! I didn’t tell you about her so you could…fix it. You think you can FIX everything!”

Ben’s shoulders fell in defeat. “I just wanted to help. You’ve wondered about her your whole life, this is your chance to get answers.”

“Oh—Ben the hero! You don’t know a thing about me or what we’ve been through. You can’t just barge into someone’s life and try to…fit the pieces together!”

They stared at one another until the bell on the door signaled a new customer. Gloria shook her head and Ben knew to give her some time. He grabbed his jacket off the stool and walked out of the diner.

Gloria walked down to the other end of the counter to grab silverware and a menu then made her way to her new customer.

This is what she knew, this was comfortable. She had been at Empire Diner her whole life. Her dad, Dom, didn’t see the point in paying a sitter when Gloria could just come with him to work. In elementary school she did her homework in his office and fell asleep on a cot until his shift was over. When she got older Dom taught her how to run the register, clean the tables run a mop, what he could get by without paying her. Once she reached high school he actually put her on the payroll.

Most business owners work the first shift, but Dom preferred working the third. He’d get home in the morning, Gloria would go to school while he slept, then it was back to the diner around 2:00. He preferred it to the traditional work day because it meant he didn’t have to face coming home to an empty house every evening. It made him remember and there was no use in that.

The diner was slow, even for a Tuesday. As Gloria returned the coffee pot to its burner, Dom walked out from the back. A young couple walked in, the movie theater two doors down must have just let out. The diner got usual traffic from the theater on most nights, mainly first dates that wanted to drag out the end of the evening.

It seemed just like any other night, but this night was different for Gloria. It was different because she’d realized she had feelings for Ben, even though she had tried so hard to defy them. It was also different because as she started her shift, he told her news that couldn’t wait for a special occasion—he found her mother.

“Why haven’t you cleaned up those two tables?”

“I’m..I’m getting to it, Pop.” She couldn’t look at him for fear that he could read her face, although that was not a skill her father had ever tried to acquire. At this point they were experts at dancing around each other. Surviving together for 25 years, they had no one else. Both had successfully pushed away anyone else yet with each other they were almost back to back; united by blood and pain but still so separate.

Gloria stacked the dirty plates and forks, scrunched the $5 tip in her hand and wiped down the back table. Just keep moving and you won’t think, these thoughts will go away.

Over the next eight hours, the diner crowd ebbed and flowed. There was another waitress who worked evenings, an older woman from the neighborhood, Alma, but she had the night off to attend her granddaughter’s school play. It never got so busy Gloria couldn’t handle it though. Dom was on her case enough that she learned to be dutiful and overextending. She told herself that’s how he showed love, by correcting her, yelling at her. He was helping in the only way he knew how.

Gloria ended her shift and headed the two blocks to her apartment. After climbing the three flights and making it to her door, she locked it behind her and fell onto her bed, shoes and all. Her phone fell out of her pocket onto the floor, the notifications that she had four missed calls from Ben illuminated the room, but Gloria was already asleep.

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“I don’t understand why she’s upset with me. I thought this would be a good thing”. Ben had gone to his best friend, Sean’s apartment to clear his head but Ben couldn’t stop talking about Gloria.

“Dude, I don’t get it. You’ve never had to chase a girl, ever. Is that the draw here? That she’s a challenge? Because she sure as hell has the personality of this bottle” Sean said as he took a swig of his beer. “And it’s been like 6 months!”

“You didn’t even give her a chance. She’s…amazing. She’s supportive, funny. She’s just closed off at first, she’s had a rough way to go.”

“Did she ask you to help her find her mom?”

“No”.

“So maybe she didn’t want to find her. Maybe you fucked things up.”

“Awesome, Sean, thanks.”

“Look, I don’t know. I’m just tired of seeing you waste time on a girl who makes you work for it. So, give her what she DID ask for and leave her alone”.

“It’s not like that—“

“Then how is it, Ben? I’m sorry she had a bad mom or whatever, but life sucks! My knee blew out sophomore year and I haven’t played ball since ….I haven’t been laid in 6 months—life’s tough! You gotta keep rollin’ and this girl is dragging you down, man.”

Ben sank back in the couch, still peeling the label from his beer. They watched the game in silence.

____________________________________________________

Gloria’s alarm jolted her awake. Still in last nights clothes, jacket, and shoes, she slowly lifted herself up off the bed and rubbed her face. She had about 30 minutes to get ready for her part-time job at Sal’s Market deli counter. After a whirl of teeth brushing and digging for her uniform, she unlocked and opened her door to see Ben sitting on the floor across the hall.

“Hey,” he sputtered as he slid up the wall to stand.

Gloria’s brow furrowed and her jaw tightened.

“I just want to explain, won’t you talk to me?”

“I’m going to be late for work”. Gloria started down the stairs, with Ben right behind. She had been getting used to seeing him, looking forward to it even, but now she was back to her initial disdain when he wouldn’t stop trying to get her number.

“I didn’t mean to overstep, really, I didn’t think of that and I see that now and I’m sorry. I just thought, you know since she was still alive and close you could finally meet her and—“

“Stop!” Gloria spun around on the last step. “It’s over. I don’t want you, I don’t want your charity, I don’t want your stupid help. You need to leave me alone.”

She walked out of the building and Ben waited a minute but followed after.

“Don’t you want to know why she left? She owes you an explanation! She left her child and not only that, left her alone with an asshole!”

That made Gloria spin around. “What the fuck?! This isn’t some goddamn fairy tale you can wrap into a fucking bow! Jes-us Christ!! This is MY LIFE! You know nothing about it! And my dad? You know what? He fucking stayed!”

With that, Gloria turned before Ben could see the tears forming and made her way to the market.

Ben felt defeated. Was she right? Had he been trying to “fix” her, to mold her into to someone who was more comfortable and acceptable for him instead of truly accepting her for who she was? She was closed off, he wanted to bring her out of her shell. She was angry, he wanted to make her smile. The more she pushed, the stronger his will. He would fix the crack in her heart, he would fulfill her longing, and he would paste her family back together. Then she would love him.

She had told him before that he was too idealistic, and she was right. Now he knew he’d lost her.

____________________________________________________

During her 15 minute break, Gloria sat out back with the smokers. She didn’t smoke, but they didn’t talk to her, unlike the ladies in the break room. She was lost in thought when she reached into her pocket and pulled out the piece of paper Ben had given her with the address.

Her mother’s address.

Her mother was alive.

She was alive and living two towns over. This whole time?

She shoved the crumple back into her pocket and returned to work.

____________________________________________________

It was 4:00 when Gloria made her way from the market to the diner. The place was pretty packed which suited her fine, less time to think. The minute she caught sight of Dom, though, she felt a lump in her throat. Maybe she shouldn’t feel such loyalty to her dad. He had always been cold to her, treating her more like an employee than his child. But she knew, those nights she cried herself to sleep, that he was hurting, too. Gloria knew that her parents were happy at one time, Alma told her, and it was the only time anyone spoke to Gloria about her mother. She’d seen a couple photos of them together, matching gazes and smiles.

Dom and Rosemary had been madly in love and when they found out they were expecting, they were ecstatic. But after Gloria’s arrival, Rosemary became a different person, even with Dom. Alma guessed that maybe Rosemary couldn’t connect with Gloria, which happens sometimes with new mothers, but no one ever talked about it. One day she simply left. Dom tried everything to find her, called her sisters, but he soon realized she didn’t want to come home.

____________________________________________________

The bus was fairly empty for a Saturday, maybe four people besides Gloria. Her hands turned white as she held onto the seat like a life raft. As the bus doors screeched open, Gloria got up before she could talk herself out of it, feeling as if someone had pushed her. The doors closed behind her and she knew that her mother’s door was only one block away. The crinkled address paper was soft and nearly fading from being opened and closed so much.

The house was small. Did she ever picture me here with her? Running in the yard? Did she ever think of me?

Before she could talk herself out of it and run back down the sidewalk, she knocked on the door. Soft footsteps grew closer. The door unlatched and before her was a white haired women with the softest apricot face. She smiled and Gloria stared in return.

“Gloria!” The woman didn’t ask it, she stated it as fact, that she knew this was Gloria.

Gloria swallowed so hard she was sure it could be heard.

“Sweet Gloria, you look so much like your mother.”

Seeing her obvious confusion, the woman continued, “I’m your aunt Connie. Please come!” She reached out her long slender arms and Gloria followed her lead.

It was the typical home of an older woman. Doilies under every object, faded pictures in gold frames, and a fat cat sauntering into the room.

Connie sat on the couch at an angle, wanting to lean in to Gloria and greet her with her entire presence.

“I had always hoped you’d look for her. I know Dominic did, but she forbade us from talking to him. Or to you. I respected my sister’s wishes.”

Gloria’s heart was racing and she searched Connie’s face for a quicker answer as to where her mother was.

“Darling girl, your mother passed in May.”