Emotional maturity

Achieving emotional maturity is challenging.

Yet as you grow emotionally, life will make more sense to you and you'll be better prepared to handle challenging relationships and circumstances.

Luckily, emotional maturity doesn't imply that you need to meet a certain age requirement or excel on a particular test.

Instead, there are a few things you can do to immediately improve your emotional maturity.

Here are the best techniques for developing emotional maturity.

1) Understand the significance of emotions

You must first acknowledge that emotions actually matter.

Repression is the same as hiding feelings by blocking them or making an effort not to care.

You need to recognise your emotions for what they are, which are genuine representations of your responses to life and other people, regardless of your gender, culture, or background.

Although it isn't always simple, learning to manage your emotions and handle them maturely is a really rewarding endeavour.

As Erin Eatough, PhD puts it:

“Emotional maturity means having the self-control to manage your emotions and work to understand them.

“As an emotionally mature individual, you don’t view emotions as a weakness.

“Instead, you value them and don’t try to hide them.”

2) Confront childhood adversity

Many of us had painful events when we were young.

It may be mistreatment or abuse, or it might just be neglect, or sometimes it's feeling unwelcome or unaccepted by our family or peers.

Whatever childhood trauma you experienced, it's crucial to acknowledge it and bring it to light.

This doesn't imply that you have to talk about it aloud or even with a therapist.

Yet, you must at least look it in the eye.

I was wounded when these things happened or did not happen.

One of the foundational steps in developing emotional maturity and control is facing the grief of the past.

3) Mend relations with your parents.

Whatever your connection to your parents—or lack thereof—making peace with them is a sign of emotional maturity.

Embrace their flaws or whatever you feel you didn't get as a child.

Accept anything you may still feel your relationship needs or that isn't beneficial.

Embrace any qualities you possessed with your parents that you now miss from your childhood or any qualities you learned from them that are difficult to discover elsewhere.

4) Consider the way you attach things.

The psychologist John Bowlby pioneered the idea of attachment patterns about a century ago.

According to Bowlby, our experiences as infants and children with our parents and other carers have an impact on how we give and receive love.

We may develop unhealthy and self-destructive relationships with intimacy and love as a result of excessively restricting attention or neglect.

We could become avoidant because we feel awkward with individuals who show us a lot of affection or nervous because we crave confirmation that we are lovable and wanted.

Your capacity to comprehend your emotions and cultivate self-compassion will advance as you get more comfortable with your attachment style.

5) Learn when to break.

Knowing when to take a break is another aspect of developing emotional maturity.

Each of us has a limit to how much intensity and intense emotions we can take before we need to take a short break.

Something like:

• Watch a comedy film to escape from reality for a while.
• Take a stroll while smoking a cigarette.
• Have some drink and observe the sunset
• Karaoke with the gals while out on the town

Understanding when to take a break is a crucial indicator of developing emotional maturity since it shows that you value yourself enough to allow yourself to occasionally take a break and recharge.

As Cindy LaMothe puts it:

“Those with emotional maturity can admit when they need help or when they’re burning out.

6) Manage stress without putting it off to others

How does a newborn express its sadness or hunger? The infant screams and cries.

Yet, as we mature, we discover how to control our impulses and frustrations.

This implies that occasionally we must let off our stress.

Yet if we are emotionally responsible, we don't take our frustrations out on those close to us.

We might both be in a bad mood because I just had an extremely difficult day or because you're experiencing problems with your girlfriend.

Yet, that doesn't mean we vent on one another.

Emotional maturity requires learning appropriate strategies to deal with stress and irritation, such as exercising and taking up yoga.

7) Don't act so hastily.

To be emotionally mature, one must learn to control their impulses.

Sometimes someone you find obnoxious and ignorant turns out to be a beneficial ally or possible friend after all.

Sometimes you're highly drawn to someone who ends up being a huckster or a con artist and takes you in the wrong direction.

Don't always follow your gut instinct or let your first emotion dictate your course of action.

While you can't control how you feel, you can control how quickly you respond to those feelings.

8) Avoid the black-and-white thinking.

The terms "positive vibrations" and "increasing your vibrations" are frequently used in relation to self-development.

Although vibrations may be fantastic, I want to give people some advice on how to avoid the good/bad dichotomy.

True emotional maturity comes from facing all of your feelings and thoughts while letting go of the notion that everything about you or other people must fall into one of two categories: good or evil.

Several emotions can appear "evil," but they're ultimately useful...

Several emotions can appear "wonderful" while ultimately leading you wrong...

Be cautious when categorising your feelings; instead, concentrate on developing greater awareness and control over them.

As Maria Romaszkan says:

“Remember, these behaviors don’t make you a bad person. It’s natural to exhibit some of these behaviors while being a reasonably emotionally mature person.”

9) Refrain of blaming

Occasionally a problem can be directly attributed to a certain person.

It is true.

But the more you concentrate on placing blame, the further you travel the bitter road and begin the vicious cycle.

Soon enough, you'll probably also be held responsible for something, and when that responsibility is returned to you, you'll probably respond by lashing out in kind.

so forth.

Accepting responsibility while concentrating on solutions rather than recriminations is a sign of emotional maturity.

10) Acknowledge your own faults.

There are moments when we fall short of our goals or the people we want to be.

Accept this and deal with it.

Even though you could feel ashamed after failing or falling short, pretending it never occurred or being too proud to acknowledge a mistake are both worse options.

Everyone makes errors.

Owning up to it is the best course of action.