Embrace Experiences with Your Children as They Grow

When our children are small we revel in the joy they gather from the smallest things – biting into a sharp apple, playing with their shadow, squeezing mud through their fingers or hearing a new sound. We see the world anew again marveling at how we ‘missed’ the discovery of everyday things until they came along. It is although blinkers have fallen away. We record their first steps, their height on a doorway, photograph their birthdays and vacation adventures. As our children grow and experience the world around them we offer our own insights, our own experiences and gradually they gather their own knowledge of the sights, sounds and smells.

When they start school we are not witness to what their day is filled with – we ‘miss’ some of their life. This ‘missed’ time gradually expands as they go on play dates, have slumber parties, go cycling, skate boarding or to the movies with friends. We are not central to their experience anymore, their circle expands and in consequence their personal world and experiences. Of course it is still important to be involved in their lives, whether it is Mom’s taxi, having plenty of snacks in the cupboard or asking them about their day, allowing their friends to drop by, stay over or making your home a fun place to be – all of these things will give them the ability to share with you. Parenting is harder with teenagers, as they struggle between childhood and adulthood but those experiences are even more vital in creating their personality. They need you even more at this time, even though they can be rather ‘unlovable’ at times – persist because deep down your love is essential to them. They need the reassurance that no matter what they do (within reason) you love them, support them and will always be a sounding board, a constant source of love in their life.

By the time our children have grown from teenager to adult these ‘first’ joys have become fewer and far between. That’s not to say there aren’t more, such as the ‘new’ music they introduce you to, their reflections on world events, people they interact with or new hobbies they have embarked upon etc. However, those wonderful ‘firsts’ are not as common and when we experience one we should celebrate it whole heartedly.

A rite of passage is when our kids leave home and make one of their own. Our knowledge of such things is vital to the smooth transition from childhood home to their adult home. Whether they rent or buy there is a mountain of information you can offer them, making the experience a little easier. As a parent we feel lost as our nest empties, but there will always a phone call for advice or practical help and lots of visits back and forth. If you have done your job well it will be a great transition for them into adulthood.

Recently, I had the privilege and joy to accompany my future daughter-in-law on her first wedding dress shopping trip. Not only did I feel honored and pleased to be asked but also because it is a pivotal moment in her life. She has been a ‘daughter’ for years already and a welcomed addition to our family. She has brought such love and laughter and I know in my heart she loves my son deeply and truly.

The store was crowded, excited chatter filled the room; there was a real sense of expectation and happiness but also of being overwhelmed. The racks of dresses was vast, lining three sides of the store, tightly packed together in shades of white, ivory, champagne and oyster. Whatever shape, detail or bling you wanted it was represented. This experience was a first for me and I absorbed the atmosphere and everything that went on. Seeing her dressed in numerous incredible gowns, the glow on her face and the smiles we shared are precious moments I will treasure forever. She is my extra daughter, a real joy and I welcome her with open arms and love in my heart.