Drowning not waving

Joanne hauled her shopping bags out of her battered SUV. A tiny smile played on her lips as she rummaged in her handbag for her keys.

She inserted the key in the lock and turned... only it didn’t turn.. damn this old door she’d wanted it replaced years ago.. it was ugly for a start. She shoogled the key in the lock, still nothing happened. Joanne’s brow furrowed... were these the right keys? Well, of course they were ...she’d used them to lock up not even an hour ago.

CHILLY

Great. She looked under the battered old flowerpot next to the door .. nup no keys there.. there was however her secret stash of cigarettes and matches. She lit up before she tapped a number into her phone....She thrust the keys back into her handbag and dumped the shopping bags by the ornate bench that sat under the lounge room window. Her call was answered “Hello... it’s me... “ she wandered down the path and back ...her call concluded... she plonked herself down on the bench.

TROUBLE

Loud music blasted the cobwebs away from Leah’s brain. Leah was Joanne’s younger daughter.. a year 11 student and right now she was dance walking home. She needed to put her feet up after a hard morning completing a short unthreatening multiple choice exam.

When she turned into her street she wasn’t expecting to see her mother having a fly puff and quite honestly Joanne was equally surprised to see her daughter. She’d been a little preoccupied lately.

SECRET VICE

“Mum, what are you doing out here apart from the obvious.. hurry up with that fag.. I need a coffee after the morning I’ve just had...

“I don’t seem to have my keys” Joanne replied with a lie. A thought had to begun to take shape... that prompted such a response...

“I expected you to be INSIDE the house ... so I don’t have mine either”. growled an exasperated Leah.

“ Ok, but what are you doing here?”

“Mum, I told you I had an exam this morning, then the rest of the day off...your are really not with it. I also told you I was going to help you clear out the garage “

ANXIETY

Joanne used the stub of her cigarette to light another, she wasn’t really present... her mind was working overtime... she’d just had a horrible thought....

“Hmmm?” She was vaguely aware Leah had spoken.

“Mum, you are truly not with it ....have you rung dad?”

“Yeah ..No!” I couldn’t get hold of him...she muttered distractedly .... “I...I couldn’t get through”

“Oh, well I’ll try....

“NO!” She spoke with a vehemence that not only shocked Leah but herself. ....

Mum, what is your problem...?

CHANGE THE SUBJECT

Joanne suddenly interjected .. “Hey Leah, do you have any of those antihistamines in your bag.. I seem to be suffering from the sniffles from sitting near these rose bushes,...”

Leah rolled her eyes at this blatant attempt at deflection...”No mum, I gave them back to you.” She went over to her mother’s handbag, and pulled it off step step where it had been dumped. “I put them back in your front pocket....” the bag fell open and the keys fell out...

“Ok, mother you had a man look .. here are your keys..seriously?

At that moment, a car drew up and Joanne seemed to snap out of her fugue... “look, there she is, I rang your sister...

Wearing a fluorescent tradie top, Joanne’s eldest.. Carla, emerged from her vehicle carrying an esky and a toolbox. “Just as well I had the morning off... I don’t know what I had to bring this for.. Carla said, holding the toolbox aloft, “I have my keys”

“Well, seemingly the keys don’t work...a fed up Leah grumbled.

Carla marched over to the door with her keys... and amidst increasingly frustrated rattling had to concede.. no they didn’t.

Both girls are looking at their mother with mounting puzzlement.

THIS IS ODD

“Mum seriously what is the go here?”Leah’s voice was becoming strident ... she actually felt a little afraid..

“Girls, there are basically two ways to learn to learn in this life... Joanne began... the easy way learn from other people’s mistakes.. or the hard way... making your own.. I’ve been on the hard road of late.

“Mother, you have one foot in the grave, what the hell could you be learning?” Leah said sharply.

“Yeah Mum, you are showing every sign of losing your marbles of late..”Carla who was normally her more diplomatic daughter.. was equally perplexed.

“Yep, you girls are right, I’m invisible and pointless”

OWN UP

Joanne was fed up of her daughters’ disrespect, but what she has to tell them was going to have them thinking even less of her. Drawing in a breath shakily.. she ploughs on..

“Your father thinks I’m having an affair “

After a stunned silence that seemed to stretch on forever.. Carla let out a bark of laughter.

Leah was even more expressive... “ Ewww mum that is gross, you can’t be having sex at your age ... you’ll hurt yourself...

“I’m not ... I’m not having sex” a distraught Joanne scrabbled to minimise what she’d said. The cat was out of the bag though..

“So what’s Dad’s problem then, why does he think that..? Carla muttered through clenched teeth.

“I’ve never heard of that, affairs without sex... except you mum... clearly that’s the most revolting thing I’ve ever heard....but it can’t be an affair then, can it?”

Joanne lit a third cigarette and scrubbed at her face... she was trying to marshal her thoughts... “I don’t think there’s a definite, ah definition... ok people imagine it’s genitalia bumping.... “ Leah squawked at that ... making gagging noises .. and trying to shield Joanne from the road.. “but in all honesty, Joanne continued “I suppose it could be anything involving a third party .. pointing to gaps in your marriage or more likely in you..”

MEDICINAL TEA

Carla had pulled a flask out of the esky ... “here, mum take a sip of tea... you’re not making a lot of sense... who is it you’re doing?

“I’m not ... wailed a crestfallen Joanne, I’m not doing anyone. Oh my God, he is a colleague at the new office, we get on so well... and honestly I don’t feel comfortable any more, I told him I’m leaving, I have asked for a transfer already, it was so hard.

Leah gaped at her mother, “You are kidding right, you are telling me you have got the feels for some bloke in your office..”

“I liked him” Joanne continued, “I thought of him as a friend, almost a special friend though.... I was spending way too much time thinking about him.... and I knew it was unfair of me all round...And now he thinks I’m a bitch and he called me unspeakable names. As far as he was concerned me suddenly leaving and cutting contact was out of line. It wasn’t understood by him and you know I don’t dispute it wasn’t the way to deal with it... because we were friends... that said he threatened me nastily and told me to get back to my family.. I never thought I’d left it.. though you know he’s right ... I should appreciate what I have and I do... but the threats though they really tore it .. all we really had in common was a bit of a spark and a job we both liked...”

HEAL

“... I had to have that discussion with your dad ... I admitted I felt something.. but that was it. I just want to recommit to him .. and you girls...”

“Well, that’s good right? “Carla said softly.. “I mean mum I do understand that you have always put us first all these years.. and this new job was a big deal for you.. boundary issues with friends do crop up, maybe you just can’t be friends with them then..”

“Precisely” Joanne sighed “thank you Carla. Girls, they always say curiosity kills the cat for a reason.. your emotions can catch you unawares.. there are so many interesting people in the world.”

“Well, sorry Mum, I reckon it’s the vilest thing I’ve ever heard... Leah who had been listening to this with mounting disgust... was yelling now, no longer caring if the neighbours heard. “You are a disgrace... you are telling us we are locked out because of you?”

Carla almost whispering grasps the situation.”Dad changed the locks... he doesn’t forgive you does he?”

Joanne just looks at her daughters... stricken.