Does That Make Me The Ugly Sister

Born in 1988 (80’s baby woot woot!!) to Lisa and oldie, first born to Lisa and fourth to oldie.

Raised in Inglewood (the hood at the time) a suburb of Los Angeles county.

The only child of my parents for 7 years before my younger sister was born. I was a naive, shy kid. I remember being a very obese baby.. yes my mom was a recipient of W.I.C sooooo all the free formula.. you can get…. my mother took advantage of.

As of 6 months I developed Atopic dermatitis (eczema) all over my body.. feet legs, arms , neck, wrist and with that followed everything the comes along with it; Allergies, Asthma.. etc

I remember getting teased a lot in school… from 1st grade to 12th grade… because of my skin… I wasn’t one of the lucky ones who it went away eventually (yes still have it to this day).

A hereditary gene I picked up from my mom was very dark circles around my eyes… when my allergies would pick up rubbing them, when they watered only made the circles darker and worse. Being a little light skinned with very dark circles, would equal to being the butt of joke of teenagers

The names I got called…. Dalmatian.. because the spots on my legs… crocodile… because of how dry my skin was…. Even “Oreo eyes” okay that one was stupid but I can see the where they got it from (black and white) anyways I even remember people coming up to me asking if I got socked in the eyes when they’d get puffy from my allergies lol… you can hide eczema you can’t hide your face.

All this to say it made school very miserable and concentrating on schoolwork was hard.. grades suffered

My parents did their due diligence sometimes and tried to help with the skin problems and school grade/ work problem… putting me on every medicine I can think of and getting tutoring. With that my parents were very overprotective and strict on me.. which to an extent I’m a little grateful… kinda

Fast forward 7 years LBP (my younger sister) is born. Her hereditary trait was everything from my father.. where I took up a lot after my mother… yes we have the same father and mother… which people find it hard to believe.

LBP… had no asthma.. no allergies and No eczema!!! Side note my dad has two other daughters from a previous marriage and all including LBP have a good grade of hair… which with myself… not so much.. another trait passed from my mother I guess.

I use to dress LBP up as if she was my doll when we were younger.. I remember my dad calling her beautiful.. clearly ( i don’t remember him calling me that) soo yes my self esteem suffered…still though Safe to say I was a proud big sister (still am) and just happy not to be a only child.. my older sister and I have a 15 year age difference

I remember having growing up in Los Angeles predominantly I had to be tougher… kids were very mean.. and I had to fight and endure alot…

Transitioning to high school… our family moved to San Bernardino County.. about 45 minutes from LA. I was in 10th grade and LBP was in 3rd grade… the environment totally different… LBP thrived and not only did she thrives she blossomed… where I still struggled with my appearance and self esteem

LBP being the youngest was very opposite of me… very outspoken and mean lol where I was timid, shy and kind. My parents encouraged her… (she was a fire cracker)

With LBP little to none distractions in school she thrived… ending with her going to a Cal state university… where I made it out of high school by the grace of GOD.. moving to the inland Empire from Los Angeles county mid sophomore year in high school kind of put me behind the scope to going to a university… still mildly dealing with teasing and miserable school years

Thoughout our life I’ve noticed the differences our lives have been. I’ve noticed there is a thing such as pretty privilege and being kind has its limitations. Trying to cope with these realizations I turned to eating as a coping mechanism. So yes being big boned… where my sister a little petite

It has always been a thing that I am the kind one and LBP is the pretty one… within this year… 2022 two people have while talking to me have said

One person: “how is LBP doing? you know I call her the pretty one”

Second person: “ you know LBP is sooo pretty she better watch out”

Other people: “LBP is so pretty” “BNP you look like you mom” ????

With comments like these at 33 years old gets me thinking when people are talking to LBP about me do they call me the “ugly one” or am I referenced as just the “kind one” or “you know Lisa and oldies daughters the pretty one and the kind/ ugly one” ( felt very Marsha and Jan-ish lol

Ending this story with self love and self care is my focus these days. Still proud to have such a pretty sibling.. being her number one fan and cheerleader… With one day hoping at I will be acknowledged as the pretty one or Lisa and oldies pretty daughters.

The end