"Dive In!"

As a mother of 8 kids, I know the value of sleep. I remember very clearly the seasons of sleep deprivation, especially the newborn stage of life with each one. As the New Year was about to start, I debated whether to do a resolution or not. Then my sister-in-law and I decided to make dream boards. We tore through piles of magazines on a quest to find all the perfect pictures to describe our dreams. More and more, I saw the recurring theme of health on my own board.

I had recently looked in the mirror and finally really saw myself. I had spent many years justifying the weight gain and the frumpiness. More and more, it was evident that I was not taking care of myself. Awoke is a great way of phrasing it. It was as if, all of a sudden I had run out of excuses. It was me staring back at myself in a very aware way.

4 months ago. I walked into the counselor's office with a simple plea..."Help me get my memory back and the heaviness off." We talked through all the phases of life that had led to the "heaviness" I was feeling. Not just physically, but emotionally. It was like a huge weight hanging around my neck. I needed free! Willing to do the difficult work of breaking that yoke off of my neck, we began with weekly sessions. He was very wise man who helped me learn to express my emotions with a greater emotional vocabulary, to really listen to myself and others, and to just be.

As I thought through all of my experiences during the last months of hard work, I realized I was finally ready to tackle my health. Grateful for every step forward, I earmarked 2022 with the word "HOPE!" I would give myself permission to dream big, to love on myself, to grow, to rest, and to be at peace. It started with a small seed of thought. "Eat less pizza; eat more salads." Not a diet plan or a lifestyle change. Just a decision to make one healthier choice each day. It was if a switch flipped in my head. I heard myself repeating this phrase until it became like a mantra in my ears. Every time I was about to put something in my mouth, those words rang through my ears.

So simple, yet so profound. This mantra started to define my wellness appetite. Vitamins that used to look so unappealing all of a sudden went down easily. I stopped feeding on a diet of social media and declared a fast. Breakthrough was on the way! I could feel it. Research and reality replaced those excuses. I could fully see a realistic goal for myself to lose 35lbs. Many websites said this was an achievable goal by May. A decision was made. in my heart, i knew I needed this for me and for my kids who were looking on from the sidelines. 2022 would be my year to prioritize rest. Not the typical kind. The kind of rest that one gets when their body, mind, and soul were no longer at war with each other. More yes answers, less no ones. I would tackle this year instead of it tackling me.

Well. today is 17 days into the new year. more energy than I have had in almost 10 years. I have walked past soda pop and drank more water. I have eaten a lot less pizza and am happy to report that there have been more salads. I am becoming me!