Destined by Ancestral Fate

The story dates to 1995, where a little girl called Solomia was born in a small village in Ivano-Frankivsk, Ukraine. Little did she know that her whole life trajectory was going to change based on the following key events: poverty and the desire for a better life elsewhere.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, we first need to acquire an understanding of the initial circumstances of Solomia’s parents before she even came to be. They each lived on a typical Ukrainian farm in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by more animals than people. Chickens, ducks, pigs, and cows were more common than humans, even if they were used as a primary source of nutrition by its same people. While animals were in abundance, the village was lacking the energy of people, life, and commotion in general. Daily, there was not much going on, the biggest excitement was hearing from a neighbor that heir distant cousin has had another baby – their 3rd one. Other than babies, weddings were naturally also a big event, an occasion for the whole village to get out of their farmer’s clothing and celebrate with lots of vodka and dancing. Generally, talking about and getting involved in other people’s life stories quickly became everybody’s second hobby, after picking potatoes.

The pressure to get married and have a family was more prevalent than ever. In fact, Solomia’s parents were influenced by the very same societal oppressions. They went to the same local school together, and apparently that was enough to have in common for something as long-lasting as marriage. “Something is seriously wrong with you” if you were not married by 18 and had your first child at the age of 21. At least, that is what her mother was conditioned to think growing up in Ukraine in the 70s. To be raised in a society that does not consider the individual needs and wants, was extremely difficult and confusing. Developing and taking care of oneself is challenging enough, let alone creating and raising another human entirely. Nevertheless, the young and naïve couple from school have appealed to everyone’s wishes and proceeded to envelop in the promise of marriage.

Solomia’s parents have begun living together in the same household. This meant still living in the same house with your own parents and siblings of course. The father moved into the mother’s family house, to help with driving the heavy tractors and carrying loads of harvested food throughout the day. Nothing much had changed except that there were more people under the same roof and more challenges as a result. In addition, the pressure to have a baby has begun and everyone in the village was expecting another celebration to be around the corner. Except in their case, this happened to be more difficult than they imagined it would be.

The next few years were spent working hard at the fields and saving up to start a family. This momentum was worthwhile, but when the mother turned 20 years old and still not pregnant, they realized the pressure and lifestyle they were living was not supporting their fertility, but rather depleting it. So, they decided to use their savings for medical procedures. Unfortunately, money could not save Solomia’s parents, but fortunately a miracle did. Solomia was born completely unexpectedly, naturally, miraculously, just when the parents were on the verge to give up after the unsuccessful procedures. It was a cold but memorable month of January 1995. This was a key lesson for the parents – sometimes a blessing comes when you don't expect it to come.

Speaking of blessings, around the same time, something else had changed; for once – the usual gossip had been elevated to a different type of level. Now that babies were ticked-off from the to-do list for that generation, the new “hot topic” that was on everyone’s lips was about was going abroad to Central Europe for better work conditions. When Solomia's father heard of this, it’s as if a spark has been lit in his life. First time, when he saw Solomia for the first time; second time, when his mind rushed with the thought of building a better life elsewhere. He looked at Solomia's mother and said with all seriousness: “this will be us. We deserve a better future; this will be our life, you’ll see.” He was not wrong, this man’s words always matched with his actions. And so, he left his girls and started his journey to the Czech Republic, with no plans, no expectations, nor proper documentation, just a deep desire to provide a better life for himself and his family.

Starting over in a foreign country was easier said than done. Despite the obvious barriers of language differences and lack of finances, Solomia's father started thinking he may have bit-off more than he could chew. To say that the first months in the Czech Republic were hard would be an understatement. He spent 12 hours working at construction sites in the day and sleeping under Prague’s bridges in the night. The bridges were cold and wet, but at least, they were close from a local bakery, where Solomia's father went his only source of food after a day full of manual labor. The baker there was an older lady who would leave leftover bread at the bakery’s doorstep for anyone in need to come and take. This made the father begin to realize that Czech Republic had kind and generous people – he had a job he was good at in the day and bread to eat at night. This was enough for him to start to see the difference between a small Ukrainian farm and a capital European city.

Back in Ukraine, Solomia's father was by now known and talked of as one of the ones to have “made it”. To have been able to migrate out of Ukraine and start over, even if that meant starting with nothing. Naturally, Solomia's mother had wanted to join him on this quest, but Solomia being still just a baby had needed some of her mothering first before she could leave her. Once Solomia turned 1 years old, her grandmother offered to raise her so that the mother could join the father and to also find work in the Czech Republic, until it was suitable enough for Solomia to join them. So, the mother had begun her journey as well, only realizing a little too late and with a little regret, that it would be a while until she saw her little Ukrainian girl again. However, at this point a decision has been made and the only way was forward; she trusted the process and her motherly instinct knew she would come back for her. After all, she did name her daughter “Solo Mia” – meaning “Only Mine” in Italian – because she felt a loving, yet possessive feeling towards her.

After spending a year apart, Solomia’s parents were reunited again in Prague. This time, progress has been made on the sleeping front – the father made sure the bed was warmer for his wife than when how he initially lived when he arrived. Things were working well for him; he was promoted to a team lead role on the construction site and could afford a one-bedroom apartment. However, being physically apart for the two had caused some strains in their relationship. There was a distance between them, even though they were physically together again. It was clear that some things had changed. Not to mention, this was their first time trying to co-habit together without the presence of their families, including their little daughter Solomia. The next series of events were meant to be nothing but of sweet celebration and relief for the couple, from finally getting out of Ukraine and being able to start over. However, the reality was far from that and together with the absence of Solomia, it took a big toll on what happened next [...].

Solomia’s mother had started working behind the bar at a local casino in Prague as she too tried to integrate within the Czech society. She was enjoying having a job that served other people and access to a diverse social life, which she was so very deprived of back in Ukraine. It was the kind of lifestyle she had only dreamed of, but now was living. For a while, this change was good for her, at least from what it may have looked like on the outside. In actuality, the casino was a place filled with rich people that were there to exploit the momentary and immediate pleasures of life – money, sex, and power. It was no place for such a young wife and mother from a small village in Ukraine. The experience was very overwhelming and contrasting for her, but as usual she did what she had to do to “fit in”, only this time it had nothing to do with marriage or babies. She worked longer hours, started drinking with the bosses, and wearing clothing that was more revealing than she would have liked, only because she got more tips by doing that. She was losing herself; she began to wonder whether she truly belonged to such a big city like Prague.

Even though Solomia’s parents were both integrated into the Czech society now – regardless of how positive or negative the experience – there wasn’t a day that they were not thinking of Solomia. Bringing her to Prague was their next mission. Considering the two diverse jobs of the parents, it was easier for the mother to take time-off to travel to Ukraine, and so she did this on her own. She felt brave for doing this, but at the same time full of contempt to the father, whom she had been struggling living with in the first place. On her journey back to Ukraine, she enjoyed the sense of freedom and independence and even contemplated for a moment what it would be like if she did not return to living in Prague with him. At least, this was until she saw Solomia again.

There was minimal contact between the parents and their daughter Solomia whilst they were apart. Phones and especially phone calls abroad were expensive and certainly not easily accessible to them. Not to mention, the grandmother had limited expertise with phones and would shout into them, startling both Solomia and the person on the other line. Needless to say, everyone was happy that Solomia’s mother was coming back for her after a year apart.

If there was one most contrasting moment, then this would have been it – a mother reuniting with her daughter after a year of living in completely different societies. Solomia was now over 2 years old and was a walking and talking bundle of joy. The mother couldn’t believe what she had missed out on in just 1 year; it was the kind of regret she knew she would carry with her forever. In this moment, she looked at Solomia and her surroundings – the chickens running in the background, the distant mooing of cows and the smell of sweat from manual labor. It was a very familiar combination to her growing up, but what had changes now was her perspective about it. Now that she had a sneak peek into her different life in a capital European city, she could not imagine herself living back on the farm with her parents, with a child to raise there and no social standing. It became clear to her that she had to go back to Prague with her daughter so she could provide a different life for her too. “Solomia, only mine”, she thought, as she embraced Solomia and said: “you are only mine okay?”. So, the two together have left the Ukrainian farm forever, to leave what was never meant to be in the first place.

To be continued...