Dads Are No Joke

I'm sure that when my dad, Larry, became a father 32 years ago, he didn't expect to go through half of the things that he has had to endure with me as his daughter. Unfortunately, I have had a life long struggle with addiction and mental health issues, and countless bad decisions. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like to be my father.

I have put him through hell and back, but he has always stuck by my side and has always been there for me in my time of need. Numerous times I have been stuck in unfamiliar cities and needed rescuing, my dad has been the knight in shining armour that I needed every single time.

I was in a toxic 14 year relationship with the father of my son, Isaac - my dad despised my son's father and got in many altercations with him, but yet he still stayed in my life. He consistently visited me at my apartment 2 hours away from his own home, every second weekend, and still does. When he comes up he always fixes anything that is broken and goes above and beyond to clean my apartment for me, do my dishes, takes us out bowling, to the movies, takes us to dinner or orders food for us, he spends more than he is likely able to afford on us.

My son's father died of an overdose in August of 2021 and my dad drove up to my place and brought fireworks and materials to build a wooden cross for him at the 'Crosses for Change' overdose awareness site. He took us to the beach where we had all last spent time together and we had a toast to him and a fire along with the fireworks he brought. I think my dad had realized in that moment, how easily that could have been me he was saying his final goodbyes to. He took me and my son to his place out in the bush and we all wrote goodbye letters and made a cross for him. We then went to a private viewing another 2 hours away and stopped at every beach along the way so my son and I could enjoy this time together. Then he took us on a trip halfway across Ontario to let us escape for awhile. My dad has a beautiful heart and soul.

He doesn't understand addiction but he has always tried his hardest to get me help, taking me to the hospital when I was completely delusional and manic, driving me to and from rehab centres hours away, and even coming to drug houses and getting me out, giving me the rude awakening that I often needed.

He has bought me phone after phone, paid bills when I was behind, bought me groceries when I would have otherwise starved. Some may say he was enabling me, I say he was keeping me alive and giving me unconditional love, hope and something to live for.

When my ex was still alive, he stole from my dad and took advantage of his kind nature to feed our addiction and put my dad in debt, still my dad forgave it and stayed in our lives.

My dad is 65 and still works hard every day as a jack of all trades. He will likely work until the day that he dies so that he can help me and my son get by and leave something to us.

Tears stream down my face as I write this, because I am so sorry for all that I have put my poor father through and am so thankful to have him in my life. I fear the day that he leaves us. I truly don't know what we will do without him.

If I am mad or upset about anything, I call my dad and he lets me vent, even though I'm sure it is hard on his nerves, he is always there to listen and give me advice and a new perspective or to sympathize with me and affirm my feelings. Even though we have different opinions on many things, he understands me and knows how to calm me down and bite his tongue instead of adding fuel to the fire like most people in my life tend to do.

So many parents would have cut ties with me long ago, and just let me fend for myself. If he wasn't my dad, I may be homeless or worse. I cannot begin to express the thanks that I have for him. He would have given me the world if he could have, and as far as I'm concerned, he already has. He is truly my angel on Earth.