Daddy

I remember the Christmas parade on Christmas eve. At midnight, the fire trucks all lit up playing holiday music, slowly coasting down the street with Santa Clause and Frosty the snowman sitting on top, throwing candy canes out to the crowd.

I was only 3 or 4 years old, so you hoisted me high into the air on your shoulders just to make sure I could see. I also remember it was pretty cold that night, as cold as it could get on a California winter night.

After the parade had passed us by, you walked us back across the street to our house. On the way, I had an accident and it leaked all down your shoulders and back. You grumbled in your low gruff voice, but never said a word. We got back home and you simply showered and tucked me back into bed.

I remember you taught me how to ride my bike. Running alongside me with your hand on the back bar, never letting go until I was ready. I also remember falling into the pool on my bike, but you still weren't mad, even though you told me a hundred times not to ride around the pool.

So many nights, you would lie on the floor with me, playing Barbie doll's and coloring in my books with me. Watching your old movies together and listening to the music you liked. Thank you for introducing me to the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis. To this day, he is still one of my favorite artists.

You did your best to help me with homework that I didn't understand. Even going as far as tracking down the teachers home phone number in the phonebook and calling her so I would understand what to do.

It definitely wasn't all unicorns, rainbows and sprinkles. We had some major conflicts through the years. But we always found a way to get passed them.

I can't forget the look on your face each time you held one of the grandkids for the first time. Your eyes would beam with pride and love. Even more so when you got to hold your great grandson.

I always knew I was protected and safe in your presence. That must have been all the monsters you looked for under my bed or in my closet. You were so brave and heroic.

All of these things add up to the love a father has for his baby girl. I can't proclaim to know why you never gave up on me. God knows I deserved it plenty. For those times, I can only wish I could tell you how sorry I am.

It's been almost two years since you left me Dad. I wish I knew why you had to go, but that's something I'll never know. I miss your silly smile and the way you would look at me when I would do or say something dumb. I miss being able to give you a hug, a kiss on your oily cheek, and hearing your voice. What I wouldn't give to be able to hear you say "I love you too sis", just one more time.

This fathers day, I will go to your resting place, place flowers on your headstone, and remember all the love you gave me. I wish you were here Daddy. I hope you have a great day wherever you are. I love you so very much and miss you more than I ever could have imagined. Say hello to Grandma and Grandpa for me.

Happy Fathers day Daddy, I love you.