Creating Myself

Creating Myself

By Nicole Scarborough

Way back in first grade, I remember a little spark being lit in my mind which told me that I would grow up to be a teacher. Through the years I nurtured that spark into a burning desire and a definite career path. I never wavered from it, never doubted it.

In college, of course my major was elementary education and I excelled in my studies – even receiving the only “Excellence in Education” award given out in my graduating class. I student-taught at a local elementary school and dreamed of the day I would swing open the door to my very own classroom and begin challenging young minds and creating little learners and leaders.

After being offered a position at a nationally recognized tutoring center, I entered the world of education, but not quite the classroom yet. During this time, I fell in love and got married. A few months later, we welcomed our baby boy into the world and everything changed.

Holding my newborn son in my arms, I knew one thing for sure – I would no longer be pursuing a career in teaching. That classroom door would not swing open, at least for many years. I needed to be home with him as a full-time mom and was fortunate to be in a situation where we could make that a reality. It was a decision I felt strongly about and although I felt a pang of sadness at not having realized my dream of being a teacher, nothing could have kept me from staying home with my son, and a couple of years later, my newborn daughter.

In their early years, my days were so busy with their care, their schooling, their activities, and our family lives. But as they grew, they needed me a little less and I found myself with more time to focus on my own desires. I didn’t want to re-enter the workforce because I still wanted to be there for them if they were sick, or to chaperone field trips, volunteer at their schools, and be with them all summer.

My mind searched itself for ideas, latent talents, possible little opportunities for me to earn some money while the kids were at school. Those quiet hours felt like prime moments for building a little something for myself. I signed up for a jewelry-making class and learned how to properly assemble beaded jewelry and attach findings so that I could sell a quality product. I poured myself into this endeavor and soon had a little jewelry business going. Friends would host parties and feature my jewelry. I signed up for craft shows and vendor fairs. My jewelry sold well and I enjoyed a few years of that minor success, but something felt incomplete.

As time passed, I found myself the parent of two wonderful teenagers who definitely still needed me, but certainly not as much. The thought occurred to me that now might be the time to become the teacher I always thought I would be. However, there was one more concept I wanted to explore – and that was adoption.

Along with being a teacher, adopting a child was also a life-long notion that I had carried with me. But with two teenage children, and being so close to the “parenting finish line”, why would my husband I consider starting over with a young child? Looking around our home, seeing my sweet son and daughter, knowing we had enough love and room to share, the question was why wouldn’t we? And so being a teacher was going to remain a childhood dream, as we pursued the adoption of a 23-month old little girl and brought her home as our daughter. My life as a stay-at-home mom would continue for as long as she needed me.

With enough creative energy to fuel several people, I dabbled in many different types of crafts to see where my passion might lie. Cutting out craft paper with precision, I made wall-letters for childrens’ rooms. I watched YouTube videos and learned to paint with acrylics on canvas. I experimented with a multitude of bath-bomb and sugar scrub recipes. I began cutting out tiny designs and creating unique magnets sets of paper and glass. I discovered wooden peg dolls and began painting them as dollhouse people, brides and grooms, mermaids, and pirates. I cut out patterned paper and designed adorable little tins for storage, for play sets, even for tea bags. My little online store became a regular source of income, though quite modest, and my time became filled with creating little things that bring joy to others.

So although I never taught in a classroom, I taught myself some amazing lessons – that I am capable of learning anything I set my mind to, that I am persistent and tenacious, that I can be a dedicated mother while also creating a career for myself. Through of the years, I believe I taught my children some valuable lessons as well – to not be afraid to change gears, to explore your abilities, and to value family above all else.