Chuck It In The Fuck It Bucket

My plans for a more productive 2021.

Step one : Stop doing laundry at home and instead drop it to the laundrette.

Step two : Use the 8 hours a day I spend on laundry to write.

That’s it , two steps.

I’m a ( trying to be) work from home parent with 4 children who have an insane superpower...they can somehow manage to fill two laundry baskets every single fucking day. They use every fucking towel every fucking day, every facecloth, every dress up costume they own on top of their regular clothes! I really don’t know how or where they find the time to do it , one child is stuck in a space between dressing like a tomboy and dressing like she’s off to a black tie event so she changes her clothes roughly 1984 times a day , another likes to create different styles by adding colour to her outfit .... using fucking food , mushed up strawberries is a fav but mulberries are no 1, a toddler who likes to wear everything he owns for a few minutes but will then revert back to the first outfit he put on ,there is milk or juice or water spilled on at least one bed at least once a fucking day, usually the sofa covers will get something spilled on then too ,I’ve gone through four , yes four ! washing machines in the last year and Ive just after spent the first 6 days of January washing , drying, folding and putting away a monster pile of clothes.I’m not even fussy , I don’t iron, ever, I rarely find time to match socks , that’s a job left to when you need them dig through the ‘sock bag’ for a match and hope for the best , I honestly can’t be arsed any more . So fuck it , I’m not doing it.

Late last year I listened to the audiobook ‘4 Hour Workweek’ , interesting book actually, especially for entrepreneurs ,which I would love to be someday I thought as I was folding that days monstrous pile of clothes, if only I didn’t spend so long doing this everyday I could do anything!Maybe I can start a company to help parents get laundry done super quick so they can free up their time , something like I don’t know a laundrette! Realising my business idea has already been in use for several decades was a blow but I quickly got over it as I began to see light at the end of the laundry basket . This is the biggest fucking waste of time! What’s worse is it’s never going to change, there will never be less laundry only more as they get older so on and on this monotonous daily grind will continue until my children leave home , by then my sanity will of also left ‘home’ , so why not outsource it to a professional that can get it done in a fraction of the time I can ? They could probably do my whole weeks washing in one hour ,two max, I’d be saving thousands on water , machine replacement and laundry powder , it’s really a sound financial decision, So that’s the first change I’m making this year . Follow me for more tips on housekeeping, I’m kinda like the opposite to Mrs.Hinch , could you imagine being able to get housework down to 4 hours a week ? That’s a book waiting to be written , Maybe I’ll come up with more genius ideas when I’m not waist deep in piles of clothes, let’s see, but for now I’m going take the first day off my new laundry free life to write , spend time with my kids ,drink coffee and eat cake , Happy New Year !