Children

When I was younger...much younger, as little as maybe 4 or 5 years old, I remember vividly that I never wanted to forget what it felt like to be a kid, to feel, to see through the eyes of a child. I made a promise to myself to never forget the hurt, and the pain that the words of others, family, friends and strangers alike can cause, and that that pain can last for years sometimes forever and can cause serious damage in an adults life. I never wanted to treat children the way I had always felt I had been treated. As less then, as an annoyance, as something that just needed to be taken care of. Adults are easily irritated by kids when they don't live up to their high expectations. They are let down because the attention and love the child has received thus far has been lacking, but that would leave the blame on the parents and most parents don't want to except that their child's issue is no ones fault but their own, or perhaps the only issue is they are setting their child up for failure because they set the bar too high.

Some parents do not see this as a problem. Some parents do not feel this way. Some parents want to control their child. Some parents never think about how their child is feeling and/or why they are behaving the way they are. Most parents just tell their kids to do what they say, because they are the boss, never explaining why things need to get done, only that they are bad, annoying, ungrateful, or spoiled if they do not do what they are told as soon as they are told.

A child's job everyday is to learn, just like a mothers job everyday is to teach that child in some way or another. It may not be in the reading or writing they are excepted to know for their age, or the math and science. Maybe they are leaning by watching their parents, listening to to how they talk to each other or other adults, how they deal with a stressful situation. They are learning by playing with their sibling, they are learning by watching T.V. & YouTube I have always been an advocate for children, because even when they do use their voice no one listens, no one cares... I will always remember the promise I made to myself all those years ago...

To always remember what it feels like to be a kid/teenager! To always listen when a child/teenager speaks To treat all kids/teenagers with the RESPECT they deserve To always pay attention to their body language and to their actions because some things are tough for kids to articulate.

Heck some things are tough for adults to articulate

I have heard many parents talk about how they will never be their child's friend. (Like they are ever so proud of this statement). It breaks my heart when I hear parents say this, I have a very close relationship with my mom and I would defiantly say she is by far my very best friend. Of course I didn't see it that way when I was younger my mom being my best friend in school would of mortified me. Now looking back though, she was always the kind of best friend I needed, but I was too cool for friends who actually cared about me and wanted what was best for me. Friends who would always have my back and pick me up from a bad situation, then be so happy & relieved I was home safe. That is the kind of friend I want my kids to aim to find and if they can't then I guess I will just have to be their BFF until they find a friend who will love and care about them maybe not as much as me (Cuz that'd be kind weird) but pretty dang close. I am also helping to show my children what type of friends they should be and that even if it is really hard to find people who genuinely care, learn to be ok with only having 1 or 2 REAL friends quality is much more important than quantity.

Think of all the amazing lost friendships between Mothers, Daughter, Fathers Sons, all being denied the most beautiful friendship because Parents are afraid to have a Real Connection or any Real Conversations with the human beings they created and promised to teach and love their whole lives, not just when they are little, and it's not over when they turn 18, they will need you for the rest of their lives if you are lucky enough to become their best friend.

And if not, my heart goes out to the parents who have a child out in the world who hates coming home for Christmas or any holiday, because their parents refused to be "Friends" with them when they were a child/teenager