Breaking free

The alarm went off at 7:30am as it had every other school day. She hit snooze but did not go back to sleep. She stared at the sunlight gleaming off her wedding band as an overwhelming sense of certainty washed over her, different then anything she had ever felt before.Today was the day everything would change. Today was the day she would take her life back.

She got the kids up for school like she normally did. Kyle 8, Katrina 5, and James the baby only 2. Looking into the eyes of her children during breakfast was enough to bring tears, but she had to fight them. This was only the beginning of long, hard battle. Off to school they went, Rebecca knowing that when they got off that bus things would indeed be very different.

The husband went off to work. Completely unassuming as to what was coming. He hadn’t noticed much about her anyhow in the past 9 years. Her only job was to cook, clean, bare children, and to be a slave in so many ways. She had been a prisoner in her own home, and now it was time to break free.

She knew leaving him wouldn’t be an easy task. Not because she loved him. She lost respect for him many years ago. It would be hard because she knew he would not allow it. She knew he might really hurt her if he knew she was trying to leave. She needed to protect herself, and shield the kids from a terrible scene as much as possible. It was only two months earlier that he had gotten got so angry he nearly choked her to death. She had to leave.

That afternoon she got Kyle and Katrina off the bus and drove away. Waiting on a call from the sheriffs department as to when her husband would be removed from the home and it would be safe for her to return there with the children. She had a small bag packed for the kids. A diaper bag for the baby. No access to money, as he had been in control of everything. Only the 20.00 he had given her earlier in the week as “allowance”.

Trying to keep some normalcy, she took the kids to get a bite to eat. Not in her town but a nearby town. Hoping not to be found. She had just enough to get the kids something, but not enough for herself. It was ok because she really didn’t feel hungry given the circumstances. They left the restaurant, but had nowhere to go. No family nearby. Hopefully it wouldn’t be long now that she would get the call that it was safe to go home. But minutes turned to hours. The kids were tired. Would we sleep in the car? The reality of her decision was starting to weigh heavy on her.

The phone rang. They told her that her husband wouldn’t be removed until sometime after midnight. The kids had school in the morning. And it was getting late. As she hung up the phone and looked in the rear view mirror at her children’s sleepy faces, she thought of Jane. Jane was a friend of a friend. Someone she had only met a few times. They hit it off though, and Rebecca recalled at their last meeting that Jane and her husband had divorced. Listening to Jane talk about how hard it was being a single parent also with three young kids, she couldn’t help but feel surprisingly envious of Jane. But why? Jane was struggling so hard to juggle work and three little ones all alone. But Jane was free.

Jane and Rebecca had exchanged numbers last time. It was her only hope, so she decided to call Jane. With crackling voice and holding back tears, Rebecca explained the situation. Jane, without hesitation welcomed her and the children to spend the night. She made them pancakes and set up air mattresses. The kids didn’t understand what was going on, but they were all so tired the fell right to sleep.

The next day the kids went to school in borrowed clothes from Jane’s kids. Rebecca went home. He was gone. Or was he? She spotted his car at the neighbors house across the street. Ok, she thought. Maybe he spent the night there. Over the next 6 weeks that car didn’t move. He watched every move she made. He stood in the street every time she came and went. Stalked like a rabbit by a wolf. She never felt safe. Would she ever feel safe? The answer is yes. It took time. But she got away from him and started a new life. She never settled again. She knew her worth and made a good life for herself and her three beautiful children.

Domestic violence almost killed her. Many times she contemplated suicide because she felt there was no way out. There is always a way. Nobody should feel like a prisoner in their own home. No man or woman should have to live their life walking on eggshells. There is hope and there is help. You can get your life back!