Boy Mom

I became a mom at the age of 19 and I had no idea how drastically my life would change. He was a beautiful little boy with a quick smile and a laugh that could light up the room. Unfortunately his father and I did not make it and got divorced. (Probably the best thing for us!) This posed a lot of challenges over the years but that is another story.

I learned how to make slime and crash cars. Building sheet forts and watching movies for the 100th time became the norm when he was little. He made friends in school and then learned quickly that not every friend is going to be around for the long haul. He loves music, movies, anything military, being crazy, and my life could not have been better.

He got his heart broken and I was there to try to fix the hurts that kept coming from family that were not genuine. He became angry and mean sometimes because of those hurts. Through it all though we were a pair. I met my second husband and my boy fell in love with him as much as I did. He finally had a Dad that cared about what he was interested in and tried to teach him how to treat others, especially women. He went from a child that could be sullen and angry to one who could love genuinely and understood what respect was. I give most of the credit to his stepdad for that.

Through his teenage years he developed some great friends and had a girlfriend that was less than ideal but we treated her kindly and with respect. After all, it wouldn't be right to show him that we did not stand by our own ideals when it came to others like we had taught him. They split and we were there to make sure that he kept perspective and on the path he wanted for his life.

He went through a few different ideas on what he wanted for his life. Did he want to go to college? Nope. Did he want to go into a trade? Yup, he chose electrician. He got a full time job as he was waiting to get accepted into the electricians union. He thought he would buy a cheap house and fix it up. Every offer he put in fell through. The union never called. So he thought about the dream he had since he was 5 years old.

The dream of joining the United States Army as a Cavalry Scout became the next step. There were many hoops he jumped through but he finally made it in! I was so excited for him! We were so happy that he was following his dream.

He had been friends with a girl for a year and after she broke up with her boyfriend they started dating. It happened roughly 2 months before he left for basic. I was not prepared to be thrust so quickly into second place. I did not know that being a mom of boys (as I have another son who is younger) would be so heartbreaking! I should be happy that he has found the love of his life and that I will be replaced by someone we like but its hard on a momma's heart to not be number one anymore after so many years as his main confidant and support system. I am learning to let him go in a way that I was not ready for but its inevitable and I will get through this, hopefully with more grace than I currently feel I have.

Being the mom of boys you are used to the tough and rumble of everyday life with them but the letting go is not something that you think of until its too late. So I say this to fellow boy moms, Enjoy the crazy, energetic balls of destruction while you can! Someday you will be replaced (in a good way) by the love of their life and it won't be you anymore. So while my heart breaks a bit for the little man I had for so many years, its happy for the future that he his creating for himself.