Blended

Does anyone else feel like there SHOULD be a handbook for this? Somedays I feel like mom of the year, somedays motherhood rocks my shit.

Let me start off by telling MY story, give y'all a little background on where I am at and where I came from.

I am a 25 year old, stay at home mother of two girls aged 4 and 5. To be frank, none of it was in the cards I had for adulthood.

To give you perspective, I grew up with no cards in my deck. A couple of parents that spent their money on drugs instead of our home, food, etc. A brother who was dissociated from my family to an extent that to this day, I don't know where he is or what he does. To be honest, and fairly morbid, he could be dead and I wouldn't know it.

When I left for college, excited to just be gone from the world I called home, I ended up meeting who I thought was the man of my dreams. Fast forward about 1 year, things became a bit rocky, and a month after that, I found out I was pregnant. Every moment after that, changed who I was as a person.

I was given my baby girl August of 2017. She changed my life. We moved out of our tiny one bedroom apartment, into an old farm house.We renovated that house to the maximum, to make it home. But something always felt off. People having "intuitions" always made me think of witches and shit. Like no one would really KNOW things before they knew.

Well, a few days before my daughters second birthday, I received a tip from a complete stranger on facebook messenger, telling me to go through my now fiances phone. I had never really done that, not my vibe. But come to find out, it was someones best friend, who had the knowledge and morals to be a big enough person to not watch me marry a man who was apparently, never faithful to me.

6 months down the road, I'm in my own place. Just me and my baby on a rotating schedule with her father. Lonely nights without her, lots of alcohol filled bars of people who probably never cared about me.

My best friend told me after about a year, to try getting back out there. Strangely enough, two days later. I recieved a message on facebook, "Hey ur hot lol". To be honest with you, my brain was somewhere between "what the f*ck" and "he's the one". Just for humors sake, I responded. We talked here and there for a few weeks, and eventually met in person January of 2021.

The drive to his house felt like decades, that same friend who told me to get back out there had finally convinced me to give him a chance, and I promise you I dreaded the whole thing. I was not in any place to trust any man ever again, they're pigs. I was already ready to go back home and I hadn't even arrived yet.

Long story short, I showed up at his house and never left. I kept my place for a while, because I was unsure about commiting again, but I was in love with him the moment I saw him. He still, to this day is the most amazing man to walk into my life. He listens, he takes care, hes kind, and smart, and he healed every bit of my heart that he didn't break. He loves my daughter, I love him. We have a house and a doggy. Everything is picture f*cking perfect. It's almost disgusting.

So ladies, don't settle. I'm not here to tell you to leave your husbands. Trust me when I tell you I am where I am because I did. However, you have to remember, that you can only fill someone else's glass so much, and if no ones filling yours, theres little you can do before yours is empty.

Stay tuned for more, I promise I'm much funnier and intriguing than my boyfriend says I am!