Blame Is Lighter When Shared

The Bible says, ‘teach the child the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.’

Steven Orr stared at his mother, reading her expression after the verdict was read. Her facial expression showed nothing, no regret, no sorrow, no love, no remorse, no shock. Her emotions were empty, devoid of sympathy. Staring deeper into her eyes, he saw an empty soul. A soul without understanding, curiosity, nothing that showed she was sorry for the death sentence handed down by a jury of twelve to her only son.

Silence held on to the hearts, minds, souls, and tongues of everyone inside the courtroom, as all eyes were on Steven and Annette, his mother.

Justice Keith Clarkson hit his gavel on the block and inquired, his eyes on Annette, “Is there anything you would like to say to your son, Ma’am?”

She stood up, scratched the left side of her head, and slowly eased towards him, pulling an older male with her. Steven stood up, and as they reached close enough to him, he spat in their faces.

The courtroom erupted in shock as bailiffs subdued him.

When order was restored, the judge demanded in anger, “You disrespected your mother?”

Steven glared at him and said, “You read my case file, do you think if she had taught me the right way I should go as a child, I would be here?”

“Damn,” Justice Clarkson said under his breath—another blame verdict. “You know, blame is lighter when shared, young man,” he said.

“As a child, she had many enemies,” Steven went back into his life with a heavy heart. “I wasn’t aware of the reasons. But I imitated her unconsciously. I borrowed from others and didn’t repay my debt. I borrowed again from the same people and didn’t repay them repeatedly. None of them told me it was wrong. She knew, and we enjoyed many of my spoils. I am charged with murder because one person demanded to be repaid. A fight broke out, and I killed him.”

“You don’t think you are responsible for your actions?” the judge’s anger demanded.

“I know now,” he said. “But if someone had taken the time to explain that what I was doing was wrong, maybe I would have stopped. I killed a human who was good to me,” he explained, pain running across his face in lines.

“When some humans think they are winning, they will never stop what they are doing. Even if it’s the wrong thing,” Justice Clarkson relates from years of sitting on the bench and seeing this habit repeated over and over, destroying lives in the process.

“That’s the point, Sir. They led me to believe that I was winning. No one stops when they think they are winning,” Steven’s memory reminds him of the many times he won by being dishonest.

“At no point did you think that what you were doing was wrong?” Justice Clarkson questioned.

“I am winning!” he almost screams, his eyes on his mother, who was in tears now. “She made me believe that I was winning. She had a responsibility to teach me the right as a parent.”

Justice Clarkson sighed long and then released, “Many of us can’t teach our children what we don’t know.”

“Then who is to be blamed?” Steven demands.

Nodding, his eyes on Annette, Justice Clarkson explained, “Yes, she shares some of the blame. But your life is your decision, son. You chose to do what you did. You are twenty-eight years old. At some point, you should have known the difference between right and wrong. What we do as children is understand from many different angles. Do you have a library card?”

“Ah?” everyone in the courtroom said.

Justice Clarkson repeated his question.

Steven nods.

“Did you return the books you borrowed?”

Silence roared as Steven’s head dropped to his lap and all eyes turned to him. Justice Clarkson waits for his answer. His silence answered for him, and he continued, “You knew that whatever you borrowed must be returned. Books, money, clothes, cars, etc, once they’re borrowed, they must be returned. Your decision put you on death row. At the end of the day, our decisions are our lives. And our life is our decision!”

I have a few children in my community who come to borrow money. They are unemployed. On five occasions, they have come and borrowed from us, promised to pay, never have, but keep coming back.

My idea was to take them aside and explain to them the danger of what they are doing. I was told to leave them alone. They were asked for the money, out of fun. They shifted blame between them and walked away.

Children must know the difference between right and wrong from a young age, so that they can grow with it. Good manners and discipline shouldn’t only be taught; they should also be practiced. When practiced, they will be reflected in our daily actions, choices, and decisions, ultimately saving our lives in the process.

Bad habits not addressed in children can persist, fostering a cycle that makes them victims and collateral damage.

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Whatever predicament I am in, I blame myself first. Then I learned my lesson, and my mistake will not be repeated. Annelise Lords

Thank you for reading this piece. I hope you enjoyed it.