Becoming remarkable

My first child came into this world almost seven years ago, and he changed my life completely. Before he arrived, my life was entirely career-focused, and I completely absorbed the social norms that govern how people make everyday choices. I was not even aware of this system within society that works by influencing others. Of course, I had experienced peer pressure as a teenager, but even in my 30s, I was still absorbing the unwritten rules about how to do life.

The day he arrived shifted the world on its axis, forever more. He was early, he was unwell and he needed me to change. He required me to question everything I'd ever believed. I had to understand that not only did he come first now, but more so, for my wellbeing to survive or hopefully to thrive, I had to prioritise his wellbeing and sense of peace over every other aspect of life.

His arrival forced me to look at my own life and reevaluate every choice I had made and would make in the future. It brought a sense of relief that I had never experienced. I couldn't go back to a life of working long hours, of being busy all the time and paying no attention to my wellbeing.

So, I threw out the rules, embraced the uncertainty and began a slow, long process of examining and rewriting my life. I read about personal values, researched the glorification of individualism and the culture of busyness. I read books about Buddhism, minimalism, slow living, frugality. I explored the limits of letting go and found what truly mattered.

Instead of a high-powered career, I began a slow process of academic study to shift to a more family-friendly industry in a way I could make a difference to the world. I began exploring my own family history and the dynamics which were at play in my parenting. I explored minimalism and being debt-free, and the opportunity to live without intense pressure from financial stresses.

And at this point, I have found a way to guide myself through challenging periods. A way to sit with uncertainty and embrace the unknown. I am less reactive and less stressed, but I am also more humble and recognise my own tiny place in this universe.

These changes and shifts in my priorities, worldview and daily activities have given me time with my children, a chance to live more slowly and deliberately and to notice the small things around me, which bring much joy.

I can only dream of passing on these lessons to my children, and part of my desire to continue writing and publishing my work is to spread this simple message. Simplicity is something we can and should all value. Its usefulness is never more evident than when shops are full of items that one truly needs. The supermarkets have specialised, gluttonous and unnecessary foods which are supposedly the way to celebrate with family and friends.

These lessons have become the lighthouse that guides me to make better choices and understand myself better. It is never perfect, nor do I make the right decision every time. However, without this framework to refer to, I feel I would still be rudderless, adrift at sea, making only those choices that fit cultural values and social norms, without ever asking myself if was what I truly wanted.

So, human life is remarkable. Each human can understand themselves, their place in the world, and the consequences of their choices. Every choice we make affects others. Every choice we make affects us. We all matter, and our well-being is always important. So please, don't wait to prioritise it, don't wait to find the peace that comes from making your own choices.

What I have learned, is becoming remarkable is becoming myself.