Beauty and the Narcissist

I'm about to tell you a story. A true story. A scandalous one at that. Because I am a good person I shall change the names of the characters and give them their dignity even if they don't deserve it.

It all began at Walmart. I was in a bad relationship. It was verbally abusive and there were more severe issues than that. I shall not divulge the details. But keep in mind this person is the sperm donor of my son.

Anyways, I was working at Walmart. They put me tidying up over in the houseware department. That's when I met a man we shall refer to as Cravin. Its origin is English and it means "Cowardly man" which I think is rather fitting. Once you reach the end of this story, I think you'll agree.

So Cravin and I really hit it off. I'll spare you the mushy details because they're not worth remembering and truthfully bring about the taste of vomit in my mouth. Let's jump ahead a wee bit.

<Insert breakup with sperm donor here>

We "fell in love" and before you knew it, the lovesick fool was already wanting to propose after only a few months! In my naive year of 23, I foolishly said yes. (If there's a time traveler reading this please contact me so we can travel back in time so that I may slap myself )

Moving on now!

A few months later we tied the knot and proceeded to build our life together. We got a quaint little rent house out in the countryside. It was beautiful but unfortunately, It was so far away from my friends and family. On the bright side, I at least had the neighbor’s cows I could talk to.

Things seemed perfect. He loved my infant son as his own, he got a great job at a prison, we quite enjoyed each other’s company. Here's the thing about narcissists though, they wait until you get comfortable in their world and without warning, Mr. Hyde makes his appearance.

I tried to be as good of a wife as I was able. As many know, ADHD and Anxiety make life hard. It makes being a wife hard. It makes being a Mother hard. It makes being a person hard. The house wasn't always pristine. But that’s neither here nor there. Let us not focus on what I didn't do. What I DID do was cook most of the time, prepare his lunch EVERY DAY just about. AND, I would also give him massages nearly every evening because his job was emotionally and physically taxing.

Now tell me, Does that sound like a decent wife to you? It does you say? Well, Cravin would disagree.

We were together for about 2 and a half years. In that last year, his narcissism started showing. He would twist my words, deny saying stuff that he truly did, accuse me of saying stuff that I didn't, and then I started to suspect he was likely cheating on me so, I decided to go through his phone.

Sure enough, there it was. A girl he was talking to and saying inappropriate things to, and to make matters worse, he was also speaking ill of me. I confronted him and he was furious. Naturally, he blamed it on me. Classic narcissist trait. He drove off in a fury and left me at home broken and sobbing hysterically.

After a while, he returned and we calmly talked, cried together, and made amends with the prospect of doing better. I forgave him and we continued with our lives as if nothing happened. (Any word on that time machine yet?)

Fast forward to Thanksgiving. It had been several months since the incident. We went to his Dad's house to spend the day with them. Keep in mind, his dad is adopted so none of the family at his dad's is blood-related okay? That information is important to remember for the rest of the story.

That day I met a cousin of his. We shall call her Medusa. (Hisssss) Medusa and I really got along. I really thought she was cool and I had a great time talking and laughing with her. I made plans for her to come to my house sometime. Big Mistake. (Seriously, where is that time machine?!)

A couple of weeks later, Medusa came over to our house and we hung out. All seemed normal. When I left the living room to go into the kitchen, upon returning I noticed something odd. Cravin and Medusa were sitting awfully close. I shrugged it off though and thought nothing of it at the time.

As the next few weeks went by, I noticed they seemed to be texting an awful lot. I started getting weird vibes especially when Medusa sent Cravin a song that seemed to be a song about falling in love. It was at that moment I started getting....what does the youth say these days? Sus?

The day that would set me on an entirely different course in life finally arrived. "I want a divorce". It was like venom straight to my heart. His eyes were cold and merciless. I asked him why. At first, he tried to say he was just tired of everything. He gave nothing but cowardly excuses. Finally, I got the truth out of him. "I found someone else," I asked if it was someone I knew. "Yes" Who?

"Medusa"

HIS COUSIN?! ?! SERIOUSLY?!?! Though they weren't blood-related, they grew up as cousins. Heckin weird huh? Anyways, I flipped out and started breaking stuff that was from our wedding. We really got into it then.

The next few weeks were miserable. I had nowhere for me and my son to go. I slept on the couch. Here's the real "Oh no he didn't" moment. He seriously expected me to still make his lunches and cook him supper!! If there was ever a time I seriously considered taking a tip from Madea concerning an iron skillet full of hot boiling grits, that was it. But I wasn't trying to land myself in jail because I had a baby I needed to be around for.

While I was trying to figure out where I was going to end up, I ended up reconnecting with an old friend. He was always a great listener and good at giving advice. I spilled my sorrows to him. Next thing you know, we were flirting. It was playful and innocent at first. But eventually, it became rather hot and dare I say erotic.....

(All men please cheer because he escaped the friend zone!!)

I'm sure you, the reader, were so hoping that I was about to go into steamy raunchy details but I'm sorry to disappoint you. I'd like to keep all the juicy stuff for myself thanks. *wink*

Ultimately, I and this incredibly attractive man, fall madly in love. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. Words cannot even come close to describing the feelings. But this story isn't about us anyway. It's about Cravin and Medusa. The match made in hell.

Approximately a month after my new flame and I declared our feelings for each other, we finally got me out of the house and moved in with him. Cravin and Medusa were officially dating. All was well in the world until Karma showed up.

Cravin and Medusa split like a coconut falling off a cliff. A really high cliff with a bunch of jagged rocks of death waiting at the bottom. Medusa left him because unlike me, she was not foolish enough to withstand being talked down by a chauvinistic narcissist who believes women have a "place" and should be at his beck and call.

I know I said I wanted a time machine. Truthfully though, If I could change it, I wouldn't do it. The reason being is, I learned a very valuable lesson that I will tell my daughter (whom I had with that seductive man who swept me off my feet that I’m still happily married to for nearly 4 years now).

That lesson is this, There is a difference between:

Respecting your husband and being a loving wife vs Being his servant and his doormat.

Fellow women, watch for signs of a narcissist. They'll charm you to the bone and turn around and try to completely tear you down and suck the life out of you.

And likewise for men because women can be narcissists too.

Thank you for reading!