Astros part 1

Asha placed a single sunflower on the casket of the great Colonel Dubois, to her he was just daddy. A superhero in her eyes as any daddy’s girl sees her father. The casket lowered and it finally set in all the funeral planning, family coming in from near and far none of this had jolted her, but this moment did. Looking up at the gray sky, dead grass and tombstones, Asha finally broke. Her knees gave in and she collapsed tears pushing their way out of her eyes, her stomach tight, breathless, only tears streamed but silence. A squall escaped from her throat. Air! Finally, curled up on the ground gripping earth between her fingers, pressure on her chest and black tar in her stomach. She strained and heaved as the rain began to fall Ishmael picked her up and embraced her. He too had been in shambles over their fathers passing but managed to keep himself grounded and by grounded he had been drinking and smoking since he received the call. Not today though, today he allowed himself to feel but in this moment his baby sister needed him.

The limo ride back to the house was silent which made it feel like hours. Asha looked out the window tears streaming down her face Ishmael held her hand the whole way. Asha had never known such an emptiness, nor had she imagined that she would be saying goodbye to her father so early in life. Every deployment he always came back like it was a walk around the block “I’ll be right back” he’d always say. He didn’t this time she felt betrayed “how could he not come back to his family?” Asha thought to herself. Knowing it was a selfish thought, but now being fatherless at 25. She couldn’t help but feel like no one understood her pain that she had lost more than the rest of the family. Jazeera her mother had not shed one tear Asha couldn’t understand “didn’t she love daddy?” she asked Ishmael. He looked onto their mother who sat somberly as if this was an ordinary car ride and not the ride from her husband’s final resting place. “I think she’s in shock she loved daddy more than anything, maybe more than us”. Ishmael said in a whisper. Their mother was the most beautiful thing Colonel Dubois had seen in all his travels she had come to this country an immigrant from Saudi Arabia 30 years ago. Jazeera was tall, with golden skin, almond shaped green eyes, a petite figure and a heavy accent. He was in love the moment he laid eyes on her and married her as quickly as she would have him. They had always been madly in love from what Asha could remember but this moment just bothered her so much and she couldn’t understand why her mother wasn’t as heartbroken as she was. “I’ll ask her” Asha whispered back. “No.” Ishmael shouted startling everyone in the limo. Then leaned over to his sister and whispered, “this isn’t the time just wait please, don’t get her started not today.” Asha nodded. They continued to ride in silence.

As soon as they arrived at the house Asha bolted out of the limo and up to her childhood room, she had enough of the family interaction and wanted to dwell on her thoughts of her father in silence. This had been the first time she'd ever been through something like this and wasn’t navigating this uncharted territory very well. She laid across the bed and cried as she thought of her father; prom, high school graduation, collage graduation, her first bike ride, her first major job offers at Impress as a graphic designer. How could life go forward without her number one fan cheering her to the finish line? Encouraging her in the darkest moments in her life. The colonel was her closest ally and best friend. Asha told her father everything in the world and now she felt abandoned.

A knock at the door and Asha felt anger rise she thought to herself “why can’t they just leave me alone?” it was her mother coming to check on her. “Asha are you okay?” she asked. Asha full of emotion and rage bellowed “am I okay?! No, I’m not and I don’t know how you are. He’s gone now. Do you even care?” Jazeera grabbed her and embraced her “honey of course I miss him and care he was my husband.” She smiled remembering the love they had shared for so long “one heart, two souls” he always told her. “I will grieve your father on my own time this is the time for me to console my children and make sure you’ll be able to go on in one way or another.” Asha had never considered this and thinking about it when her grandmother passed away her mother didn’t cry then she sat and in fact never seemed upset. “Maybe this is how she copes” Asha thought. “However, my child do not allow your emotions to provoke you to disrespect me I am still your mother whether your father is here or not.” Asha apologized biting her lip she didn’t feel she owed her mother an apology, but rather her mother had owed her an explanation a lot sooner than this moment but held her piece.

Jazeera hadn’t aged since her 20’s it seemed she was 50 now from a strict Muslim country her and her family fled to Israel to escape religious persecution. After war broke out, they came to the states where she had met the Col. He was stationed in New Orleans, and she was a seamstress. A chance meeting during Madi Gras Jazeera was hurrying home to fill an order and the Col. a newbie into the armed forces was enjoying the festivities and ran right into Jazeera who just about slapped him for making her drop everything in her hands. “Can’t you see?” she shouted thick eyebrows leading down to an angry face. “I’m so sorry ma’am” he said back with a chuckle. The Col. always laughed even when it wasn’t appropriate. He helped gather her belongings and apologized again. Jazeera stormed off without another word. The next day the Col. went on an adventure to find the exotic angry young woman he had bumped into. He was determined to make a life with her, beautiful, feisty, and outspoken something most of the girls weren’t at that time. He found himself asking around about any seamstress in the area when he lucked up and a street fortune teller pointed him in her direction. Col. walked into the shop and was in awe at the intricate work he found beaded hand sown suit coats and dresses with all sorts of colors and patterns he was speechless. When he finally came back to his senses, he noticed a tall golden skin woman standing with her arms crossed and that angry face again. He had found her. “Can I help you?” she asked irritated that he was in the shop. “Why yes you can ma’am I wanted to apologize again for yesterday and take you to lunch or dinner or anywhere really, if you’d like to go that is ?” he bargained. “It is my fathers’ choice you have to ask him” she replied sternly. “Well okay, where is he I’ll ask him right now” Col. replied with a big smile he knew she was being hard on him. “He’s in back working” she said. To that the Col. said just as sternly “go get him” and flashed a big smile. She trailed off to the back he heard some Arabic and a man appeared. Older, grey haired, beard, dark skin and tall like his daughter. She resembled him. Col. smiled and extended his hand. “Hello sir, my name is Miguel Dubois and I'd like nothing more than to take your beautiful daughter out” his voice was extra loud to mask the nervousness he had never asked a father outside of his own for permission for anything let alone taken a girl out before. Muhammad stared at him for a moment and responded, “What do you want with my daughter?”. “Well sir, I would like to take her out and see how we get on and if we get on well, I’d like to marry her with your permission of course !” Col. stated with another big smile. Muhammad and Jazeera taken back by the sediment remained in silence for a moment. Then Muhammad nodded and said, “if she will have you then you have my permission”. At that moment a small smirk appeared on Jazeera’s face for the first time she realized he was serious and unafraid of her father. Col. looked at Jazeera and said “well, will you go out with me?” with no real words she nodded “yes”. So, they went dancing. Then dinner, next a movie before they knew it a year had gone by and Jazeera was head over heels for the Col. and he was head over heels for her too. Like any good man of this time would, he went to see her father one more time. “Mr. Muhammad, I would like to marry your daughter I think we have been together long enough, and I can take care of her, I have a home, a good job I love her more than anything”. Muhammad smiled “ you’ve made my daughter happier than I have seen her and I believe you come from a good family, you have shown you too are a good man, a man that would treat my daughter the way I would have her to be treated, I give you my blessing”. Col. couldn’t contain himself he threw his arms around his father in-law to be and gave him a big hug. “Thank you, thank you sir” he exclaimed.

He waited for Jazeera to get off work and asked her to marry him. She cried he cried, and they were planning a wedding. “Mom, mom!” Asha snapped her out of the memory. “Can I ask you something?” she asked. “Of course,”. Jazeera replied. “What will you do now that he’s gone?” Asha asked. Her mother sat for a moment and thought then looked back at her “I don’t know I never thought I would have to figure out what I would do without him”. A tear rolled down her cheek. The first sign that Asha had seen that her mother was truly hurting. “I loved your father for so long the thought of not loving him in this moment seems unreal”. She said somberly. Another knock-on Asha’s door came, and she sighed “doesn’t anyone leave me alone in this house?” Her mother laughed. It was Ishmael “umm there’s a lady named Lena at the door for you Asha” the color drained from Asha’s face.” Jazeera stood and with a raised eyebrow asked, “whose is Lena?”.