Anger

ANGER:PARENTAL ANGER MANAGEMENT

Rare Gem

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Copyright ©️by (Rare Gem)2023

TABLE OF CONTENT

CHAPTER .1.

Introduction

Type of Anger

CHAPTER.2.

Parental Anger Management

Why are parents angry with their children?

Anger Control Techniques and Strategies

Recognize Signs of Anger

Simple Anger Management Ideas

Set a good example in dealing with children's anger

Procedures for Controlling Your Anger When Dealing With Children

Diploma

CHAPTER.1.

Introduction

Anger is a strong emotion that you experience when anything goes wrong or when someone wrongs you. It generally manifests as stress, frustration, and irritability. Anyone occasionally experiences wrath. It's a completely typical reaction to irritating or challenging circumstances.

Only when anger is excessively expressed and interferes with daily functioning and interpersonal relationships does it become a problem. Anger can range from mild irritation to wrath in intensity. Sometimes it can be excessive or illogical. It can be difficult to control your emotions in certain situations, which might lead you to act in ways you wouldn't normally want to.

Anger is hostility toward someone or something that you believe has intentionally wronged you.

Anger has its benefits. For instance, it may provide you with a means of expressing unfavorable emotions or inspire you to seek for answers to issues.

But, uncontrolled anger might lead to issues. Anger impairs your physical and mental health because it raises blood pressure and causes other physical changes that impair your ability to think clearly.

It doesn't matter what kind of pain is felt; what matters is that it is unpleasant. Anger is referred to as a "secondhand" emotion since it never arises on its own but is always preceded by pain feelings.

Feelings of pain combined with anger-provoking thoughts motivate you to take action, face threats, and defend yourself by taking action against the target you believe is causing you pain. Being angry instead of just being in pain has several benefits, chief among them being a distraction. People in pain generally think about their pain. However, angry people remember to harm those who caused pain. Part of turning pain into anger involves a shift in attention—from self-focus to other-focus.

Type of anger

1. Passive aggression

Many do not like to admit that they are angry because they do not like confrontation. This is called passive aggression. This manifests itself in things like staying silent when angry, sulking, procrastinating (putting off stuff you need to get done), and pretending everything is okay. Passive aggression arises from the need to be in control. Want help dealing with it? Read on about assertive anger. Passive-aggressive people are more likely to be indirectly aggressive than directly aggressive. For example, passive-aggressive behavior may appear as resistance to another person's desires by being procrastinating, being grumpy, or acting stubborn.

Passive-aggressive behavior may be a pattern of by implication communicating negative sentiments rather than transparently tending to them. There's a detach between what a individual who shows passive-aggressive behavior says and what they do. For illustration, somebody who locks in in passive-aggressive behavior might show up to agree — maybe indeed excitedly — with another person's ask. Instead of complying with the ask, in any case, they might express outrage or hatred by coming up short to take after through or lost due dates.

Signs of Passive-Aggressive Outrage

Passive-aggressive behavior can appear up in numerous shapes. On the off chance that somebody is being passive-aggressive, they might: "Apparition" you, or apparently vanish Allow you a underhanded compliment ("I saw you did the dishes. I was astounded.") Allow you the quiet treatment In a roundabout way deny your request (not tell you no, but moreover not do what you've inquired) Make pardons instead of say what is on their intellect Delay when you've inquired them to do something Respond to your demands with mockery or inconspicuous burrows Hatred and restriction to the requests of others, particularly desires of individuals in positions of specialist Resistance to participation, delaying, and purposefulness botches in reaction to others' requests The negative, gloomy, or antagonistic demeanor Visit complaints approximately feeling underappreciated or cheated In spite of the fact that passive-aggressive behavior can be a include of different mental wellbeing conditions, it isn't considered a distinct mental ailment. Be that as it may, passive-aggressive behavior can meddled with connections and cause troubles on the work. In the event that you're battling with passive-aggressive behavior — otherwise you think a cherished one is — consider counseling an advisor.

Examples of passive-aggressive anger

Passive-aggressive behavior comes in many forms. Some examples are:

When you ask them to do something, they tell you they will do it, but they either hesitate, never do it, or have a sarcastic response.

They treat you silently for no apparent reason.

He looks angry, but when asked what he cares about, he replies "I'm fine" and "I don't care".

They may be grumpy, sigh loudly, or act unsatisfied, such as slamming the closet door, but they don't express their displeasure verbally. They complain about situations with other people who care to indirectly say they are unhappy when the same situation happens to them.

They appear to be "counting" and talk about how they do a lot for others, but are not getting the same treatment for it.

For example, in personal situations, a passive-aggressive person may repeatedly find excuses to avoid expressing disgust or anger towards a particular person.

An example of passive-aggressive behavior in a marriage is asking her spouse to empty the dishwasher, telling her to do so, and not completing it. Or you might respond with a sarcastic comment like, "Yes, I'd like to put the dishwasher away."

If someone is passive-aggressive at work, they may be sarcastic to co-workers or not finish work on time. Another example of work-related passive-aggressive behavior is withholding important information, as if to punish the team for not providing them with the data they need to move forward.

2. Assertive anger

Assertive anger is a type of anger that is expressed directly and effectively. Used to resolve conflicts or achieve goals. Strong anger is different from passive or aggressive anger, which can harm the person expressing it and those around them. Anger assertiveness is helpful because it allows you to communicate your needs and desires clearly and concisely. It also helps you set boundaries and stand up when you are being abused. However, self-aware anger can also be destructive if not managed properly. When this happens, it can lead to hurt and violent outbursts of anger.

Types of Assertive Anger

There are four ways to express assertive anger. Each type of powerful rage has its own challenges. Let's take a closer look at each.

calm and controlled assertive anger

This assertive anger is the healthiest and most effective way to express frustration and discomfort. We tend to speak louder and use more forceful body language when we are angry. This can make others feel intimidated and attacked. It's important to remember that assertiveness doesn't have to mean aggression. You can be firm and candid without resorting to shouting or threatening behavior.

emotional or uncontrollable assertive anger

This type of assertive anger is seen as less healthy and less effective than mild, controlled, and strong insults. This can lead to angry outbursts that hurt both yourself and others. It's important to remember that assertiveness doesn't have to mean losing control. We can still express our emotions respectfully and productively.

Aggressive Assertive Anger

This assertive anger is often seen as less healthy and less effective than a mild, controlled, strong aggression. can. This can harm both yourself and others. It's important to remember that assertiveness doesn't have to mean passive aggression. We can still be steadfastly direct without resorting to indirect or subtle attacks. Different types of assertive anger expressions each have their own set of challenges. It's important to remember that assertiveness doesn't have to mean aggression. We can be firm and open without resorting to hurtful or violent behavior.

signs and symptoms

Some signs and symptoms may indicate that we are having trouble dealing with assertive anger in a healthy way.These include:

Feeling angry or easily upset all the time

hurt people or throw violent tantrums

Difficulty controlling emotions and behavior when angry

Expressing frustration or discomfort in a passive-aggressive manner

Hurting someone or venting violent anger

Difficulty controlling emotions and behavior when angry

Expressing frustration or discomfort in a passive-aggressive manner

Use violence and aggression to get what you want. Causes of Assertive Anger

Several factors may be involved in the development of assertive anger. These include:

• Childhood trauma or abuse

• Unresolved Conflicts

• Stress and anxiety

• Low self-esteem and poor self-image

• Feeling out of control of your life

Feeling helpless or hopeless

• exposed to violence;

• Witness the angry behavior of others

• You have angry or violent family members.

If you experience any of these, it's important to seek professional help to deal with your anger in a healthy way.

Effects of Assertive Anger

Assertive anger can have both positive and negative effects on our lives.

positive effect

Assertive anger helps you communicate your needs and wants clearly and concisely. It also helps you set boundaries and stand up when you are being abused.

It also helps you resolve conflicts productively.

negative impact

Assertive anger can also be destructive if not managed properly.

It can lead to hurtful and violent outbursts of anger.

You may also end up saying or doing things that you later regret.

Tips for Dealing with Assertive Anger

There are some things you can do to deal with assertive anger in a healthy way.

give it some time to cool down

If you're too angry to think straight, take time to calm down before doing anything. This means walking, counting to ten, or listening to soothing music.

talk to someone you trust

Talking about your anger can help you better understand it and find ways to deal with it in healthy ways. Find someone you can trust. Ask a friend, family member, or therapist to tell you what makes you angry.

express anger confidently

Once you've calmed down and thought about what to say, be sure to express your anger. It means being clear, direct and respectful. Avoid hurtful or offensive language. It's also important to listen to the other person's point of view and try to see things from their point of view.

Follow-up after expressing anger

After expressing your anger, make sure the person you're talking to is fine. This will help repair damage during conflicts and prevent further conflicts. identify the trigger

What is it that makes you angry? Once you know your triggers, you can avoid them or prepare for them when they occur. You can take steps to

listen to others

Try to listen nonjudgmentally when others are angry. This will help you defuse the situation and understand the other person's point of view. Setting aside space for someone else's anger can also help keep the relationship going.

seek professional help

Seek professional help if you find that your anger is causing problems. A therapist can teach you how to deal with anger in a healthy way.

Specific anger is a type of anger that is useful in certain situations. However, it is important to learn healthy ways of speaking. By following the tips above, you can learn how to use assertiveness in constructive and beneficial ways for yourself and those around you.

overt aggression

Overt aggression contrasts with passive-aggressive anger as it is expressed outwardly primarily in physical or verbal aggressive ways. People who publicly express anger often intend to hurt others or destroy things in retaliation for an unjust act done to them. On the other hand, many people vent their anger and anger and become physically or verbally aggressive, often hurting themselves and others.This is called overt aggression. This can result from fights, bullying, blackmail, accusations, yelling, arguments, sarcasm, criticism, and more.

Examples of attacks by means:

I applied for a promotion and overheard my manager recommending it to another colleague saying he would be a good fit. Since you want this position, tell a few people that you noticed this colleague drinking in the office and hope the rumor reaches your manager.

Your teen asked if he could get $40 to buy a video game. You say no because you have no money left. You seem to have accepted your answer. However, if you can't find your wallet the next day, be prepared to buy groceries. It ends up in the trash - cash is gone, cards are torn apart.

Recognizing the Signs of Overt Attack

As you may have noticed, aggression comes in many forms.

It can be more mysterious and subtle than overt and direct. As such, they may not be aware that certain behaviors are aggressive.

Overt attacks often include physical or verbal harm, but may also include coercion or manipulation.

Physical attacks include hitting, kicking, hitting, hitting, or anything that causes physical injury. This does not include accidental injuries. It's like stepping on a dog's tail in the dark or pushing a fighting friend off the porch. Verbal attacks may include yelling, swearing, insulting, and other cruel or unkind expressions intended to cause pain or suffering. Hate speech also falls into this category.

Relationship aggression refers to behavior aimed at harming another's reputation or relationship. Examples include bullying, gossip, and flirting with friends.

Adversarial aggression describes emotional or reactive behavior with a specific intent to hurt someone or destroy something. Passive aggression may involve the indirect expression of negative emotions. Examples include silence, derogatory or sarcastic remarks, and accusatory turns.

CHAPTER.2.

Parental Anger Management

Parental anger can have serious consequences for children.

Children often blame themselves when their parents get angry. Parental anger can also stress children and affect brain development. Growing up with anger is a risk factor for mental illness later in life.

Parental anger can lead to emotional or verbal abuse of children. When a parent says hurtful things to a child out of anger, the child may feel guilty and worthless.

But anger can do harm, especially if it occurs frequently or gets out of control. Throwing tantrums when angry can exacerbate the problem and lead to conflicts with others. If you don't give them time to calm down, they may say or do things that aren't helpful or hurtful.

Also, children need to feel safe and secure in order to grow and develop, so being around conflicts and yelling is not good for them.

Children may respond to angry parents with negative behavior, disrespect, and aggression. They can also become ill, withdrawn, and have trouble sleeping.

When anger turns into physical violence, it can seriously harm a child. Shaking, hitting or throwing a baby can result in serious injury, disability or death.

Punishing a child can have negative consequences later in life and can lead to consequences such as:

antisocial behavior

invasion

low self-esteem

mental health issues

negative relationship

Why are parents angry with their children?

Parents can get angry when dealing with their children for many reasons.

Parents may have significant responsibilities and demands, such as:

take care of family

work

household management

do housework

business

This can make you feel stressed or overwhelmed, lose your patience and get angry easily.

Children may not cooperate or obey their parents, and they may be rude to parents and others. These behaviors can provoke parental anger. Children may also take longer to complete tasks than their parents believe they have time for. Parents may become angry with their partner or other adults in the family. For example, they may disagree about parenting style, discipline, or household chores.

You may also become frustrated or angry when faced with other stressors such as: B. Stress related to work, insomnia, fatigue, physical or mental illness, or money problems.

It is normal for parents of young children to get angry. When you are busy with family, work, household chores, social activities, etc. They're busy and tired, so it's hard when kids misbehave or when things don't go as planned.

Other common triggers for parental anger are when your partner feels unhelpful, when your child cheats or gets mad at you, or when you are stressed about finances or relationships. It is when you feel

Having a baby can trigger emotions and trauma from childhood.

These issues can make it difficult to be patient and calm when attending to your child's needs.

You may experience postpartum anger after giving birth. This can be due to many factors such as: B. Effects of hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and parenting.

Anger Control Techniques and Strategies

One of the first steps to controlling anger can be recognizing the signs of irritation.

These can include

feeling agitated, annoyed, grumpy, or tense

tensing or clenching muscles, such as those in the jaw, shoulders, or hands

a racing heart

a churning or tight stomach

breathing faster

sweating

having negative thoughts

Once people recognize the signs of anger, they can take steps to calm down and prevent themselves from expressing their anger to their children.

Ways to do this include:

explaining to a child that they are beginning to feel angry and need to step away for a few minutes to calm down

focusing on taking long, deep breaths in and breathing out with a sigh, and repeating this until feeling calmer

counting to 10 slowly, and repeating this until feeling calmer

If a person can leave their child somewhere safe, they may be able to remove themselves from the situation for longer to calm down.

They could try:

taking a warm shower to relax the body

walking outside to get some fresh air

meditating or practicing mindfulness or deep breathing

finding a quiet space to be alone

exercising or doing physical activity, such as going for a run, gardening, cleaning, or doing a house project

doing an activity that they find soothing, such as painting, listening to music, or reading a book or magazine

Once people feel calmer, it can then be helpful to reflect on the situation.

People may be able to identify what triggered their anger and whether there is a solution to the situation or a way to cope with it positively in the future. Certain techniques work better for some people than others. You may want to experiment with different strategies to find what works best for you and what situations often trigger them.

Dealing with Other Related Emotions

In addition to anger, a person may experience other emotions such as: B. Guilt or embarrassment for having a tantrum.

People may find it helpful to connect with others who are experiencing similar challenges. Talking to others in a safe, non-judgmental space helps people manage their emotions. You can also deal with guilt and other feelings by taking steps to manage your anger. People can try to write down their anger triggers and the actions they can take to edit their reactions to those triggers.

A person can practice self-compassion and realize that sleep deprivation and work stress can have a huge impact on their emotions.

When people are angry with their children, you can talk to them about it and explain why you are angry.

People can apologize for being upset instead of getting angry. Anger is a natural and expected emotion, not necessarily negative. How a person expresses anger is very important.

People can tell their children what would have been a better way to handle the situation. B. Leave to calm down. This helps children learn to deal with anger in a more positive way.

Recognize Signs of Anger

Your body shows early signs of anger. Being able to recognize these signs can also help prevent crime from spiraling out of control.

Early signs of anger include:

faster heart rate

upset stomach

Restlessness – i.e. feeling tense or moody

breathing faster

flushed face

shoulder strain

jaw and hand clenching

Sweat.

negative thinking

When we are angry, we often have negative thoughts, which can make our anger worse.

For example, let's say you're busy at work and feeling stressed. When you pick your child up from school, in the back seat they start arguing and you become frustrated and stressed. As soon as you get home, they refuse to take out your lunchbox, put away your bag, and leave you angry and annoyed.

Here are some negative thoughts that you might have in this situation:

'No one ever helps me – I must do everything myself.'

'You children are so naughty.'

'If you behaved better, I wouldn't feel so angry.'

'Why do you want to upset me?'

If you notice thoughts like these, it's a sign that you must stop and do something to calm down before you lose your temper and explode with anger.

Simple Anger Management Ideas

Step 1:

identify your anger

The first step to managing your anger is to notice the early signs. It's imperative to know and say you're angry, even if it's just to yourself. For example, 'This is making me angry' or 'I can feel myself getting angry here.'

Step 2:

try to calm down

Once you notice the early signs of anger, you can do a few things to start calming down.

Here are some ways to calm yourself at the moment, significantly if you can't step away from your child:

Try slowing your breathing. Inhale for 2 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds. Repeat this several times until your heart rate slows.

If your child is noisy, try covering their ears or using noise-cancelling headphones for a while. Then take a few slow, deep breaths. If you can make time for your child, try the following ideas.

Do something calming, like listening to music, flipping through a magazine, or looking out the window.

Go for a run or walk outside.

Take a warm shower.

Talk to your friends about how you feel.

Make sure your child is in a safe place before going on vacation. You may want someone to watch your child while you go to a quiet place for a few minutes.

Signs of calmness are slow heart rate and muscle relaxation.

Step 3:

reflect the situation

Once you've calmed down, it might be a good idea to reflect on what just happened. This will help you learn from your experience and handle similar situations better in the future. Ask yourself:

"How important is it? Why am I so upset about it?

"How would you like to regulate this situation?"

"Do I have to do something about it, or can I just leave it alone?"

Set a good example in dealing with children's anger

It's okay to get angry - It's not nice to yell at or hurt someone.

Apologizing for being angry sends the message that anger is bad. So you should apologize for yelling or throwing a tantrum. This will let your kids know that it's okay to get angry sometimes, but it's more important to find healthy ways to deal with anger.

What do you do when you can't handle your anger well?

I have trouble handling my anger, and I constantly yell and say things I regret. It's a good idea to think about what to say to your child or your partner when this happens.Here are some ideas:

"Sorry, I'm sick. Next time, I'll take myself to calm down faster.

"I'm sorry I cried. Can I talk to you about what just happened?

'sorry. I was angry and I shouldn't have said that. I should have walked away and calmed down before talking about it.

How does your anger affect your child?

Everyone gets mad - it depends on how you deal with it. If you take a few deep breaths and walk away when angry, you're setting a great example for your child. However, frequent tantrums can have serious negative effects on children.

Children often blame themselves when they see angry adults in their lives. It can stress them out and affect their growing brain development. Living in a home with many problems puts your child at risk for mental illness later on.

Harmful language can make children feel unworthy and unworthy. It can make them misbehave or make them physically sick. Children may react to angry or stressed parents by being unable to concentrate, having trouble playing with other children, being quiet and anxious, rude and aggressive, or having trouble sleeping.

You should never physically hurt or punish your child, no matter their actions or how angry you are. Research has shown that physically punishing children puts them at risk of future antisocial behavior, aggression, low self-esteem, mental health problems, and negative relationships.

Never shake a baby. Violently shaking, hitting, kicking, or throwing a baby can result in death, disability, or severe injury.

How to calm down after being annoyed by your kids

Why is it so difficult to control our anger with our kids? There are many reasons, but we allow ourselves to get angry and lose control. When we react emotionally to our kids and lose control, we’re letting our kids determine how we behave rather than the other way around.

Too often, parents react to their kids without thinking. Parents believe they need to get their kids under control immediately rather than taking a moment to think, “Wait, let me first get myself under control before I respond to my child.”

The best way to prevent yourself from losing control is to understand what sets you off and to recognize when you begin to lose control. It is a critical skill for parents to have. Fortunately, it’s a skill that parents can learn.

Here’s a secret: when you get yourself under control, your kids will usually calm down. Remember, calm is contagious—and so is anxiety. It’s been proven that a parent’s stress about their child contributes significantly to their child's anxiety.

Think of it this way: if you can’t get calm and in control, you create the atmosphere you’re trying to avoid.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you’re teaching your child how to ride a bike. Your child is not getting it and is whiny and cranky and talking back to you. Your emotions combine frustration, annoyance, anger, and disappointment. You somehow feel responsible for teaching him to ride this bike, and he won’t cooperate.

Then you yell at your child, and your child continues to struggle. Then it worsens because he’s so anxious that he can’t concentrate. He’s feeling pushed to do something, and he reacts to it by failing.

When this happens, instead of snapping and reacting, ask yourself, “How do I stay calm so that I can be helpful for my child to get to where he needs to be?”

Remember that you’re not responsible for getting him to ride the bike. You’re liable to stay calm and provide guidance. From there, you can think about the most effective way to help him learn.

In the end, if we lose control and get angry, then we create the failure that we’re trying to avoid.

Indeed, when we lose control and get angry in front of our kids, we communicate, “There are no grown-ups at home.” We’re saying that we can’t manage our anxiety. And when you try to manage your child’s behavior instead of your anxiety, you’re saying, “I’m out of control. I need you to change so that I can feel better.”

No one wants to lose control and get angry—we don’t do it intentionally. But it just seems to happen. Fortunately, there are things you can do to train yourself to stay calm.

Procedures for Controlling Your Anger When Dealing With Children

Make a Commitment To Stay in Control

Commit yourself to trying to stay in control from now on. Notice what sets you off—is it your child ignoring you? Or does backtalk drive you up the wall?

It’s not always easy to stay in control, and no one can control their temper 100 percent of the time. Nevertheless, commit to being calm and work toward that goal.

Usually, the first thing is to commit yourself to not saying anything, to not reacting at all when the feeling of anger towards your child arises.

Give yourself a moment to do whatever you need to get calmer. I walk out of the room. Sometimes I go into the bedroom or bathroom, but I leave the situation temporarily. Remember, there’s nothing wrong with disconnecting. You don’t have to react to your child.

Maintaining control isn't always easy, and no one can control their temper 100%. Still, commit to staying calm and working toward that goal.

Usually the first thing you need to do is to say nothing and not react at all when feelings of anger toward your child arise.

Give yourself time to do whatever it takes to calm down. I leave the room Sometimes I go to my bedroom or the bathroom, but I leave the place temporarily. It's okay to disconnect. No need to react to children.

Expect your child to push your buttons

I get angry when my child doesn't do what I want. They do not listen or obey. The best solution is to expect and accept your child pushing your buttons. In a way, your child is doing their job - testing their limits.

Likewise, it's your job to stay calm and make sure your child understands where the boundaries are and takes responsibility if they are crossed.

Know what you are responsible for as a parent and what you are not

Some parents are confused about who they are and what they are not responsible for. And taking responsibility for what belongs to your child inevitably leads to frustration. Be careful of yours and your child's. In other words, what's in your crate and your child's crate?

The box has boundaries and within those boundaries is her personal space. Inside your box are your thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities. Inside your child's box are their thoughts, feelings, and responsibilities. Once you know whose box belongs to whom, parents should stay in their boxes and stay away from their children's boxes. That doesn't mean you aren't a parent. It means that you are influencing the child instead of controlling him.

Your child has tasks to complete in life. they are in his box. These belong to your child, not you.

Constantly thinking that you are responsible for how things turn out can be distracting to your child and increase stress and anxiety.

A parent who successfully breaks out of the child's frame will say to the child:

"It's my responsibility to help you find a way to fix the problem, but I'm not responsible for solving it for you."

If you feel responsible for solving your child's problems, they won't feel obligated to solve them on their own. You become more and more agitated and more and more determined. And the more you try, the less your child will try. It's counterproductive.

Parents are responsible. Parents should guide their children as needed. Parents should also set family rules and hold children accountable for those rules by giving them practical consequences. The rest is up to the child

don't worry about the future

Sometimes we fast forward to the future and wonder if our children will be like this for the rest of their lives. How am I going to be successful in the real world if I don't even do my homework?

The more we think about their future, the more our anxiety grows. In our heads we start worrying that we are not doing a good job as parents. I am worried. Psychologists have a term called fallacy. Thought errors are thoughts that do not correspond to reality and are usually negative and self-defeating. One of these thinking errors is our natural tendency to assume the worst possible outcome in any given situation. In reality, things are rarely as bad as we imagined. Our brains seem to love to scare us. So stay in your frame and focus on what you can do now. The future belongs to your child, and no matter how hard you try, you cannot control it.

prepare for fear

Pay attention to your anxiety triggers and be prepared for them. You can tell the family's nerves are tense at 5 o'clock every day. Everyone is home from work or school, hungry and decompressing.

Ask yourself:

"How should I deal with it when I know my teenager will yell at me? If she asks to use her car knowing I say no, I what would you do?"

Prepare now for the conflict you know is coming.

Tell yourself:

"I am not arguing with her this time. No one can force me to do this. I haven't given her permission to press my button. "

Your attitude should be, "No matter how hard you try to involve me in an argument, it won't happen."

Guide how you want to see yourself as a parent, not your emotional feelings.

use positive self-talk

Talk to yourself Yes, let's talk to yourself.

In my head I was like, 'I'm not going to react to my child's behavior. Take a deep breath. "

Talking to yourself may seem corny, but it's a powerful tool. Behavioral psychologists have known about the power of positive self-talk for decades—you can control the voice in your head to calm, not scare.

“What has helped me in the past?” Think about what has helped you to deal with your anxiety in the past. What is allowed to calm you through what makes you uncomfortable? Say something to yourself every time your emotions run high. It can be anything from "stop," "breathe," "slow down," to "does it matter?" Try and use words that help you stay in control.

I have a handy mental map to calm my mind. I think of beautiful places that I love and that always make me feel relaxed. Try to visualize this mental image. By imagining this place in advance, you can automatically go there when you get mad at your child.

take a deep breath

If you feel yourself escalating, take a deep breath and think things through. There is a big difference between reacting and reacting.

When replying, take time to think about what you want to say.

If you react to it, you're just on autopilot. It's all fast. You should be as careful as possible with your child's words and actions. Always take a deep breath before responding to your child.

You may have to remove the lid for a few seconds to let it breathe to keep the pot from boiling over.

Visualize a positive relationship with your child

Imagine your ideal relationship with your child in 5 or 10 years. Ask yourself, "Will the way I treat my child help me have the relationship I want?" Will my answer help me reach my goal?"

This does not mean giving in to your child's demands or condoning inappropriate behavior. Instead, it means you treat your child with respect. That means talking to your child the way you want him to talk to you.

Always visualize your ideal relationship. Aim for this image. “Is my angry reaction worth it?” If your goal is to build a strong relationship with your child, will your reaction bring you closer to that goal?

Diploma

When your child is teasing you, your thought process in that moment is very important. The goal is to be as objective as possible about our behavior and that of our child.

"What is my child doing now? What is he going to do? Will he react to the tension at home? "

You don't have to force them to listen, but you need to understand what's going on and how to react to it. can stay in

The thought process itself helps us calm down. As a parent, “How can I calm down?”

The less reaction, the better. And the more we ponder things, the more positive the outcome will be. This is the essence of what we are talking about here.

Don't just react, react thoughtfully.

There is a saying, "The answer comes from the word responsibility." In this sense, managing anger is about how you act rather than kneel down and react when a button is pressed. It means to take responsibility.

And if you can separate your thoughts from your emotions, you will do better as a parent. That's the goal.