After Death

"Where were you when Dad was so sick? Never here, Polly! It's like you never loved him at all!" Cassie's loud and angry words dissolved into the tall Texas pines as Polly drove off, down the lane and turned her truck toward the highway.

Cassie watched. Fighting back tears. Tears of anger and shame! "How can family act like this? How can death bring out such behavior in family?" Cassie wished she could go back and handle it differently. Aunt Polly was Dad's only sibling. Trying to remember when Polly estranged herself from the three of them, Mom, Dad and Cassie just left a blank. No idea. Cassie never remembered any arguments. No confrontations. She wished her Mom was still alive and she could talk about it. Now, with both her parents gone, what was she to do?

Cassie stomped back into the house. The tears had disappeared but left a biting anger! Cassie had come to the house earlier today to meet Tom. Tom Simpson was a neighbor that had been around as long as she could remember. During the last five years, he had helped her Dad with everything. The house ,where she had grown up, sits on 25 acres and the cattle involved much time and maintenance. Down the road, adjacent the creek, there were 50 more acres. Currently it was leased out to Mr. Jim Morgan, but it had to be maintained. Tom had been doing all that for some time now. It was her plan to ask Tom's advice. Should she sell all this? Trying to keep it would be expensive and Cassie was overwhelmed. Tom had agreed to come and help her, if she decided to stay. In his own kind way he had made it clear that it was her decision to make, now that her Dad was gone.

Cassie sat down in the rocking chair her Mom had loved so much. She looked out the front windows and saw the roses blooming, Beyond that, the Texas flag gently blowing in the afternoon wind. Tears returned. Tears of sadness. She thought of how sick her Dad had been toward the end. She saw him frequently, but it was not enough. Never enough. Cassie had gotten married and moved to Waco. She was in love. But, in a couple of years , her husband had revealed a side of himself that Cassie was not able to tolerate, much less love. Then, it had cost her precious time and money to get out of the mess.

Most of her Dad's funeral was just a blur. Sadness had nearly overwhelmed her and Cassie was amazed at how she had managed to plan it all and get thru it. Now, just weeks later, as Cassie was trying to mourn peacefully ....Polly was saying that everything belonged to her, his only sister! Polly was trying to claim everything! The farm business, the house and land, along with the cattle. Even the car and the F250 truck.

Trying to calm herself Cassie started pacing the floor. She wanted to be sure there was a Will, but doubt and Polly's words were making her feel hopeless. If her Dad had made one, why couldn't she find it! "What were you thinking, Dad!" Her words echoed through the house. If only he was here. If only she had an answer.

Cassie's head was pounding! Frustration and anger were taking their toll. Stopping and looking around the house again, she wondered where to start another search. Knowing her Dad often put things in odd places, she tried to think what to do.

There were legal boxes stacked by the fireplace...the obvious location but those had been searched thoroughly and there was no Will. If only she had pushed the conversations a little farther with him....demanded even... "Don't worry, Honey" he had told her "I have it all taken care of"

Cassie moved down the hall , toward the bedrooms. Passing her room, so many memories flooded her thoughts. So much happiness had been in this house. The three of them. And, often, Cassie's friends. Mom and Dad had always welcomed her friends. More likely than not, insisting they all have dinner. Moving on to her Dad's bedroom, Cassie tried to imagine where to look. The chest of drawers. Again. Top drawer, first.

The absolute silence of the house was distracting Cassie. She glanced out the windows and noticed the angle of the afternoon sun. Knowing she should leave soon for the drive to her apartment, she shuffled quickly through some old papers. A receipt for farm supplies. Some loose photos. A cross that her Mom had always worn. A little black book.

Curiously, Cassie picked up the little black book and started turning pages. She smiled. Written in her Dad's very neat handwriting, there were mostly friends and neighbors phone numbers, a few doctor's numbers, and her own number from Waco. She made a quick mental note, Polly's name and number was not in the book. Again, she thought of a question for her Dad. Too late Cassie! She said to herself.

Then, tucked into the last page, she found lottery tickets. Regular as clock work her Dad had gone to Eli's store, up on the Ridge, to purchase Texas Lotto tickets. "One day, Cassie! One day, we will win!" She recalled his words. Then, standing there, ready to give up on the search and start anew (maybe consult an attorney), she could feel the reassuring comfort that his voice has always carried.

She needed to leave for her drive home. There was nothing else, no Will. Aunt Polly was going to be a problem. Cassie guessed that legal advice was going to be the next thing she searched for....! How was she going to afford it? The divorce had cost all of her savings.

She closed the top drawer and carrying the little black book with her, she traced her steps back to the living room. She checked all the lights and locks and tucking the book into her purse, she thought of stopping at Eli's on the way home. She could buy a drink and chips, check Dad's lotto tickets a last time.

The Ridge was quiet as Cassie pulled into the parking lot. The store looked the same as it always had, just older. She noticed Eli's pick up was the only vehicle there. He was the owner and a friend for as long as she could remember. As she pushed thru the door he greeted her with a look of surprise and a big grin!" Well! Hello there, Miss Cassie! So good to see you!" Then he hesitated a brief second and continued ,"You been up to your Dad's place?"

Cassie saw the flicker of sadness in his eyes as he tried to maintain the grin. Nodding a yes, she grabbed a Coca Cola from the front box and stepped up to the counter, reaching into her purse for money and the little black book. Cassie handed him the lottery tickets and a five dollar bill. "How is everything here?" Cassie asked. "Your family? Are they all doing good?"

" Family's fine! We got a great granddaughter now! You got to come meet her! Named her Grace Ann!" He lowered his voice, took the lotto tickets and the money and said " Been a while since your Dad came in for the lottery... him getting sicker and all."

Cassie was remembering all the times she had stood in this very spot with her Dad, years before. There had been a candy display here, by the counter. Cassie thought of her little girl happiness, as her Dad told her "just pick one. " This store was a big part of her life. Stopping in here so often. She remembered her Dad's early retirement years. On Saturday mornings there wold be a Domino game out front of Eli's. Where her Dad and his friends would play, exchanging stories of careers and families.

The musical sound of "no winner" on the lottery machine droned on as steady as Cassie's thoughts. She had been here many times alone after she got her Driver's License-- to pick up bread or milk. Those were the good ole days. She realized how she really loved it out here. The woods and the creek and all the neighbors that had been part of her life for so long! How could she have even considered selling the house and land...or (worse) allowing Aunt Polly to take it!

A distinct chime of a winning ticket interrupted her thoughts. She looked up to see Eli's astonished face. Then , the look turned into the biggest smile she had ever seen on him.

" Oh, Miss Cassie! You barely made the cut off on this! 180 days, it is! "

Then, "Oh, Miss Cassie! Your Daddy would be so proud! He tried regular, he did. For years here, always telling me we'd get a winner!

Oh, Miss Cassie! 40.5 million and this is the only winning ticket! That's a lot o money!"

Eli was Looking at her. Cassie saw a tear of happiness in his eyes. Then, as the real meaning of his words swept away the headache and replaced it with hope and possible solutions, she closed her own eyes. Grabbing the counter for support, she whispered, "Thank you God!"