Adultery

In June 2018, I learnt that my father had gotten himself a girlfriend, whilst still living with my mother and I. He proudly admitted to it during one argument, and then continued to go out with his new lady, spend the night at her house and even engage in sexual activities whilst still being married to my mother. He kept stating that he wasn't cheating or having an affair, but couldn't give an answer to what he was doing. Almost 2 years later he still think what he did was the best decision he ever made, and can't see the error in his ways. We luckily had access to his social media and could monitor the conversations between him and this woman, I know it was very out of order, but it meant we could use the messages to see if his stories were true or not. We had the ability to track his lies and excuses, who he really went to meet when he went out on Tuesday nights "I'll tell my wife i'm meeting Bill". I also found messages he had sent to other women, not sure if he dated these women too, or if they were just pictures that they had sent him. He made me and my mum the enemies, he lied to his girlfriend about conversations that never happened, making, my mother especially, look horrible, mean, disgusting, etc.

I think the best way to deal with a parent cheating is to use the anger as a fuse for everyday activities, especially exercise, angry exercise could lead to a better fat burn and muscle gain. One thing you have to remember is, "sorry" means nothing, they cheated and they can't get back respect and trust that they broke. Be there for your mum or dad (depending who cheated), it'll be more damaging for them than for you. Don't be afraid to cry, last thing you want to do is bottle up emotions, it can lead to dark thoughts, and an area you don't want to go to.

It is important to remember that you're not to blame, whilst the cheating parent might try to blame you, it's their choice to cheat, it's their choice to go out, and find someone they want to spend their life with. Cheating is the lowest form of revenge, whilst some might say "it's because you don't love me the same", that's a lie, marriage is the ultimate form of love, if your parents are married and you hear that phrase, it's just an excuse, the only reason they cheated is because they're scum, lowest of the low, one of the bugs at the bottom of the garbage dump.

If you're ever given the chance to ask them questions, go for it, that's your opportunity to unleash anything you're holding onto. If they're proud of the situation, you make them feel bad, don't give them any sympathy, because they can use that to make themselves the victim in the whole situation, anything that comes to mind, is something you should say, you're not likely to get this opportunity again so give them everything you've got.

This might not be accurate advice to give all victims of affairs, but this is exactly how I got through my situation with my dad, and I think most of the advice is editable, I think everything I've suggested could be altered to best fit the situation you're going through.

I finally want to offer my deepest condolences, if any of this is happening to you. It's not a nice thing to have to deal with, but you're stronger than the person who decided to cheat, your life is so much better than theirs and you'll both soon realise that.