addiction

I am a 17-year-old who all I do is be addicted to social media, my phone, and my room it's like I don‘t care who I am surrounded but I should have known life can draw sometimes happiness and can draw sometimes sadness and it can cause sometimes depression

one of the days when i was hanging in my room my small sister knocked at door and said that my mom and she are going to do some shopping and invited me where is refused i never gave her attention like other big sisters do and at some point i was jealous about how my parents treat her better i have always knew that its my fault my family usually eat together as a family but i dont join as usual my mom always wake me and my sister at 5;45 to head to school in our way to school i noticed my sister wasn't excited she was more like horrified it didn't bother me my mom dropped us and left and i felt bad and asked her if everything was alright? she didn't answer just nod her head and left during my math class i got a phone call from the head of the school i answered and they said to come get my sister she wasn't feeling good they called my mom she didn't answer i went to get my sister from her class i got her and driven home since we got home she was throwing up so i decided to take her to the hospital as fast as i can!! we reached and met the doctor and all he did is give her medicine to drink but I am also not even sure if she was just sick I kept her to rest for some time meanwhile I went to her class teacher and took permission to let her skip school for a couple of days I reached home and found my mom already there a couple of days past..and she is still in the same condition my mom and I took her to another doctor

and heard the news I was scared to hear from the starting of her sickness how my sister might have cancer my mom eyes filled with tears but I have to pretend carelessly I tried to stop my mom but my mom wouldn't hear it from me and she blamed me for being the reason for what happens to my sister it was in the midnight I couldn't handle it and headed home went into my sister bedroom and looked at it for mins.. and left the next morning I left for school and gave the news to a couple of her classmates and they condemn me and I pulled one of her classmates and asked why are they looking at me like that she was like your sister always say them how you always push her away but she loved you to death she won't accept a word from them on you

I finished school and rushed home changed and my mom forced me to go visit her she like at least show some love now I felt ashamed and went to visit her when we reached there we found out she was gone

and since then I realized to never keep my phone room and social media in front of any family member or even a friend some time people leave without even getting to say goodbye keep your life as a timetable doesn't give something more than it deserves because one day you may lose the other thing give enough time to everyone u don‘t know when you will die today or tomorrow so live your life