A walk in the park

Parenting is supposed to be this wonderful thing. A magical moment two people share when they created one living being. That is not always the case.

I started my parenting journey with my oldest , who is now 7. I married her father. Thinking that is the right thing to do. I tried to build this idea of the perfect family. I tried to create the perfect dream. Sometimes if you push for something hard enough it will just destroy you even more. So we did what most do in that situation. We separated. We never fully divorced but neither of us have really noticed. He has his family and I have mine. 7 years of coparenting can be tough. We have had our ups and downs and we have hit alot of rough patches. When she was young we went to court. That was a long process ultimately made our relationship even worse. There was a point where I never thought we would get to a good place, where we could communicate with one another in a civil manner.

7 years we are better today then 7 years ago, sometimes it takes time. At the end of a relationship you are so stuck on pride. You hold the hurt feelings and try to bring down each other so that you can feel like you are succeeding. Spite and vengenance take the cake when you leave an old relationship. Alot of the time we take that out in our coparenting.

Here is a few things I have learned over these past 7 years. If your partner cheated or lied to you. They did that to you, not their child. I know alot of you disagree with me. It is true. Just because they hurt you doesnt mean they are a bad parent. Some may argue " well if they couldnt respect me, they didnt respect our family" In the end people just dont work out sometimes.

The other thing I learned was that if your ex partner starts a new family. They are not disregarding their first child. Most of the time. If there is a step parent involved they are just as much their parent. Your child in also in their care. Your child is taking them in as examples in their lives. They will care and love your child almost as much as you.

Alot of these examples are hard to wrap our heads around. They can make co parenting more stressful than it needs to be. We need to keep in mind what would make our children happy. Having a whole family is most likely what makes them happy.