A Treasured Afternoon

The pink iridescent fabric of her cape shimmered as a slight breeze picked up and the plastic jewel of her crown caught the mid-afternoon sun. Golden hair rested on her cheek, falling loose from the braid which I had plaited with such care that morning but was now wild from a day of rambunctious play. Though often sparkling with mischief, her eyes were serious and concentrated. She was on the hunt.

It was a rare, coveted moment alone while her new baby sister took an afternoon nap inside her crib. Transitioning from one to two children had been easier than expected and my heart was fuller than I ever imagined could be possible. However, one-on-one time with my eldest was harder to come by. Infants need their mothers for basic survival in ways preschoolers no longer do, but the emotional need is still strong and I knew she felt left out from time to time. She missed our uninterrupted time together and to be honest, I missed it too. An afternoon to ourselves was a treat and we treasured it.

Taking advantage of the warm April day we slipped on our shoes – her in her golden glitter flats; me in my well-loved Converse sneakers – and headed outside to our favorite springtime spot. Living next to the highway didn’t offer much outdoor space to play but alongside the twelve stone steps that lead to the sparse lawn there was a lush patch of vinca. Delicate purple flowers had begun to bloom and minuscule green aphid larvae coated the leaves. Where there are aphids there are ladybugs and they were exactly what we were searching for.

Usually a child of great speed, she entered the covering of vines slowly and with care. She knew the spotted insects would scatter should they become startled. I’d taught her to relax her gaze and not look in a specific spot but to instead try to catch any small movement of red amid the vines. Remaining silent so as not to distract her from the important task at hand I sat back and marveled at her. She’d grown so much since the time she had been the cherub-like infant asleep in the crib. It struck me then that she wouldn’t stay four forever and there would inevitably come a day when she would no longer want to capture ladybugs with her mother. I pulled out my phone. Time is fleeting but there was nothing stopping me from taking a piece for myself. I could capture a memory and make it eternal.

As I pressed record she swooped down and captured the tiny creature with success. She first inspected and then clasped her hands so as not to drop her newly acquired friend. Stepping through the vinca she made her way over to me.

“I found a ladybug for you,” she said with a soft smile.

“Yeah?”

I was excited; not so much for the ladybug itself but for the pure sweetness of receiving a gift from my child. Nothing is more delightful than a small token of appreciation; a picked flower, a drawing to hang on a refrigerator or, in this case, a flying bug.

“Here you go. It’s red.”

“Thank you.”

“Your favorite.”

I stopped recording the video to be fully present as she deposited the ladybug into my outstretched hand with care. I snapped a quick picture as we admired the spotted insect together. Waiting patiently soon proved to be too much and she asked me for her turn. With a twist of my wrist, I helped direct the creature to my daughter’s small hands.

Her hands held more than a ladybug, they held her entire life – but only if you knew how to read them. A long scrape traced her palm from where she’d fallen off her bicycle the week before. The time to heal far exceeded the time it’d taken her to dust herself off and hop back on. Chipped pink nail polish dotted her fingernails. Dressing up makes her feel fancy but she remains far too adventurous for any manicure to last. Blue ink stained her fingertips from the seemingly endless marker drawings scattered across my living room floor.

The ladybug trekked across her hand, unaware of the stories those small fingers could tell.

“Take a picture,” she giggled.

Feeling camera shy, the ladybug unfurled its soft wings. With precious little time, I pressed my thumb to the screen of my phone. The small bug took flight and all that remained was us and what is now one of my favorite photographs. A ladybug spreading its wings to explore the world around her and a curious, powerful girl who will grow up to do the same.