A Study in Happiness, In black and white

The above picture is one of the most beautiful, I have ever had the pleasure to gaze upon. It evokes so many emotions for me: joy, peace, happiness, contentment, comfort, and most assuredly love. I took this beautiful picture of my friend Renée and her son Dakota. I remember the day and I remember the happiness of "being there". Being present in the moment.

I felt these and so many other emotions, when I first saw this picture. It made me think about my own mom and how I felt when she would just grab me and kiss me and make me laugh. It didn’t happen everyday, so I really enjoyed it, when it did. Looking at Dakota’s face in that picture, was real for me, I felt that smile! I understood what that feels like . . . to be loved that well.

My mom was no easy taskmaster, she believed in the . . . well; let’s call it the ‘firm hand method’. Still I always knew she was right, I just hated the fact that she was right. But I loved it when she loved me. There never was and never will be any other love above that love.

My mom was a single parent, raising four challenges. I am so grateful to God, that I got the mom I got! She never gave up on me, and she wouldn’t let me give up on me either. I only wish to honour her; I want her to know “I got it!” I know what it is you want me to know and I will remember those things, and more importantly I will pass them on. I will put my thoughts into action. I will “let my deeds speak louder than words”, in every area of my life because you taught me that.

When I think about my mom, I mean really set my mind on her; I am carried back to a time when the days were long and bright. It’s not even really a thought as much as it is a feeling. I feel a warm summer’s day, and I’m laying on the grass in my grandparent's front yard. I’m lying flat on my back, looking up at a few small clouds floating lazily across an otherwise clear blue sky. The breeze is soft and cool, giving voice to the trees as the leaves twist and turn gently on their slightly dancing branches. Even as I hear the sounds all around me, none of them can distract me from the moment. They merely enhance the moments reality, which makes this memory even that much clearer. My mom taught me how to be free, whether . . . she meant to or not.

There are days that all I do is think about the things I can do in life because my mom loved me enough to make sure I knew them. There are days that all I can do is wish I had paid more attention to the things I thought were boring but, today, they are essential. But everyday, I give thanks because as bad as things can get, sometimes, they get better.

I feel my gratitude for you so strongly, I will always remember that you loved me even when I was my most unlovable, selfish self. Because you will forever be the most important little voice in the back of my mind, constantly reminding me that I “was raised better than that!” and I need to “act like I know better!” I will, because I love you, because you were right, and you loved me well enough to share these things, with me!