A Mother’s Woe

Growing up was hard

16 and pregnant, Abusive toxic relationships, a heart so scarred, started my adult life out very young and hard

Had a child and want nothing but the best for her

Looking into her eyes seeing the world in her

Nothing or no one could ever come between us

I will build a life just for us forget everybody who didn’t need us

Worked hard for years, walking to job interviews, bus trips to appointments, struggling with the rent but she has on the latest Jordans, I would have gave her my heart and soul if I could

But all that hard work built me into a woman if not for my child I would have never understood

My struggles molded me to be stronger for her so I could handle her tears when the time came

When the same pain in her eyes you had at that very age pierces your soul and makes your aura cry

I didn’t think I would feel such a heartache again until those teen years hit and it feels like your losing your best friend

But I know I have to stand ten toes and fight for her until the very end

She may not see it and may think we are lying when we tell her she is amazing and she is beautiful beyond measure and I’m a fight this depression with her while God holds us both and carries us through this displeasure

It’s a sinking feeling being helpless as a mom. You say where did I go wrong?

I fed you, I held you, I showed you all my love, I worked hard to give you better and sat you high on a pedestal in the stars above

Maybe that was it. Getting lost in parenting and working and just the rat race of life.

I know kids make their own decisions and they know wrong from right but it’s a mother’s burden to carry regardless. We still love our children even though others may feel their heartless.

I’m waiting for our breakthrough when we can have discussions without tears, talk without screams, and plan without fears.

God has away of getting us ready for things through our lives. I have more of a peace about me that even I know is a gift I can’t fully understand, so that I can have patience and control my hands

This has been one of the hardest roads I ever walked and so much harder than the days I thought were so bad back then.

This is my whole heart, one of my children, my first broke best friend

We can’t be friends at all right now just the Authority and the Subordinate but that never goes as planned

I know the sun will shine through the rain and she will apologize for the unnecessary pain but the day can not come quickly enough.

This is for all my moms of teens out there who are confused and lost, I know the road is tough. Don’t give up on them because this world will quickly. I know they test your patience but keep fighting for them strictly. We aren’t their friends or their foes. We are meant to protect them standing straight up with all ten toes. Don’t let this world pull them under or take them astray. We all know how it felt to need people to fight for us one day. Pray and listen but don’t let stress or confusion take you in. Just remember you aren’t their friend. Your their mother the person they ran to when they were hungry or scrapped their knee. Now they push back but really want you to hold them and say you understand their grief. Tell them you love them and keep showing it. The God in them will eventually break through. Keep praying and asking him to lead you to make the right choices regarding what to do.

God Bless, from a young mom with a teen daughter, another day alive, another opportunity to go harder