A Mother's Love

Annalise,

Thank you for coming up with the idea of writing to each other here. I’m glad we can both agree I’m not the best at technology, and frankly, I don’t care to learn.

Lori has been checking in more often. She thinks I don’t notice, but I do. I can tell she’s doing it to be nice, and after I told her about our plan, she brought me some nice pens and this fancy black notebook. I know you had said you would get a notebook soon, but oh well. The nurses station must have a good budget.

I truly miss seeing you - I hope you are staying safe. Do you know when Charlie will go back to school? I miss his choir performances. And how is Ivan?

My ASL has been getting better. We have classes twice a week now. You’ve met Julie, right? She’s so sweet. After a lot of events got cancelled, she volunteered to add another Sign Language class on Friday afternoons. David is terrible, and Gwen has a hard time with her arthritis, but I’ve been doing well. There are a few other people that come and go as well.

Love you,

Mom

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Hi Mom,

I told Lori to stop by more often, so don’t get mad at her! Think of it as me checking in - I just want to make sure you’re okay. But don’t give her credit for the pens and notebook, that was me. I dropped them off Tuesday night on my way back from the grocery store. However, now that we have a set time each week I’ll just come around the building to your screen door. This way you can see Charlie, too!

This week has been surprisingly busy for having nowhere to go. Charlie and I have been going on what he calls “Explore Drives” after I get done with work. “Explore Drives” are just me taking him to different walking trails, but there’s not much else to do with an 8-year-old right now, so I try to keep it exciting.

Ivan is doing okay and we try to stay positive. He’s been picking up more shifts at the hospital to help out. Thank goodness we finished our basement last year, otherwise I don’t know how we would be safely separated from each other in the house. We’ve been enjoying our backyard more and more since we can all be semi-together for meals that way. Ivan set up the new bonfire pit and we will have to get everyone together for a party when this is all over.

I downloaded an app on my phone for ASL and have started learning the basics. I’m nowhere near where you are, but I can sign the whole alphabet now. It’s a start. I’ll see you Saturday at 10am.

Love,

Annalise

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Annalise,

Charlie is so smart! I told David and Gwen how he was able to sign on Saturday and they thought it was so sweet. I definitely have the best grandkid around. Your signing wasn’t too bad either. It means a lot that you’re doing this. I know you said not to thank you, but I really appreciate you. I love you so much, Annalise.

You didn’t tell me much about you in your last note. How’s work going? Have you gotten everything set up at home?

It’s been a good week for me here. David and Gwen have been coming by at night to play cards. I continue to be the Queen of Euchre. They have also been teaching me some other games, I can’t believe I had never played chess until now. Who would have thought it would take 81 years?

Tell Ivan and Charlie I love them.

I love you very much,

Mom

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Mom,

I can’t believe I left this out of my last note, but my advertising campaign is a finalist for a big client at work. If this works out, I’m basically guaranteed a great end of year bonus. It’ll be a good amount of money to put towards the Europe trip. Thank goodness that work has been okay moving online throughout all of this. If I had to go in like Ivan, I don’t know what we would do with Charlie.

I was able to go in and grab my computer monitors a few weeks ago, so everything is set up in our spare room by the kitchen.

You’ll appreciate this: Charlie starting coloring pages in his dinosaur book to give to Ivan. He said that Daddy needed decoration in the basement. So far he’s filled in about 14 pages, and it’s definitely been quantity over quality, but Ivan still laughs every time.

P.s. You’re only the Queen of Euchre when I’m not there.

Love,

Annalise

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Annalise,

I’m so proud of you. I’m sure you’ll achieve everything you set your mind to at work. You have an advantage over others because you understand people. I always believe that empathy and understanding people is more important than what any book can tell you.

I really hope you get this. I know how much you’ve been wanting to go back to Europe ever since you studied abroad in college. You’ve definitely had some twists and turns along the way, but won’t it be even better now that you’ll have a family to take with you? Everything will always work out in the end. I bet you already started creating an itinerary...I know you very well.

Now, I don’t want you to worry, but I asked the nurses if they would hold off on telling you because I want you to hear it from me. I had to switch medications, but I AM FINE. Please don’t panic, Anna. The doctor said it’s normal to have to switch every once in a while and doesn’t mean anything is getting worse. Anyways, I feel fine, just a little tired. Hearing is still the same, no news there.

I love you,

Mom

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Mom,

You’re sneaky for having the nurses do that, but as long as you promise you’re okay, I won’t worry.

I wish I could hug you.

Charlie started creating his own show choir performance this week. He involved every stuffed animal he owns. If they weren’t in the show, they were piled up on our couch. We were able to video call Ivan for the matinee.

David called and said Gwen’s sister was admitted to the hospital. I hope Gwen is doing okay. I wish there was a way she could go in with Thea, but I know it would be too dangerous. Send Gwen love from me.

You were right about the itinerary. It’s definitely wishful thinking, and I know I shouldn’t get my hopes up, but I have been looking into places in Madrid and English teaching programs. I just want to go back so badly! And you are definitely right, it’ll be amazing to be able to bring Ivan and Charlie. One good thing about Ivan’s job is that he can travel nurse just about anywhere! It would be really great for Charlie to spend time learning Spanish while he’s young, too. Hopefully we will be able to go sometime next year if everything goes well at work.

I can’t believe I didn’t learn this sooner, but did you know how to sign “I love you” in ASL? It came up on my app this week. I’m sure you probably already know it, but I’ll practice describing it to see if I can get that right:

“I love you.”

Handshape: L shape with pinky finger up

Orientation: palm facing out

Movement: None

Location: front of body

Non-Manual Signals: None

I hope I did that right! I love you, Mom. See you soon.

Annalise

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Annalise,

Good job, honey! You signed really well today, maybe soon we won’t need this notebook. I knew you always had a knack with languages.

The I love you sign is one of my favorites. Julie showed us it in class our first week and I didn’t realize that, in a way, each letter is a part of the sign. Did you notice that, too? It’s beautiful. I asked Julie if she could bring us some of her textbooks from school to look through and she’s going to next week. I don’t know how she does it between teaching us, working here, and going to nursing school.

Anyways, she was saying there’s a lot more to Sign Language, and wants to teach us a little about Deaf Culture next week, too. I’ll have to tell you all about what I learn.

Charlie is such a sweetheart. I’m glad the nurses were able to set up the recording of his “matinee” on the TV in the lounge. The stuffed animals really added to the show! Thank you for sharing that, Annalise.

Love you always,

Mom

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Mom,

How are you? You don’t have to hide anything from me. I’m here for you. Lori told me that your left ear is completely deaf now and the right one is getting worse. I’m so sorry, Mom. I know it’s not easy now. Thank goodness Gwen and David are there. I’m so sorry about Gwen’s sister, too. I sent flowers to the hospital from all of us.

Please stay strong. I’m going to start coming by Wednesday evenings now, too. Is that okay?

I love you,

Annalise

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Annalise,

I’m fine, sweetie. Lori is right about my hearing, but I don’t feel any pain in my head at all. It’ll all be okay.

Yes, it is a bit sad around here lately. Gwen is doing better, but it’s hard to cope with not having been able to say goodbye. The Sign Language classes have been good for us all, and David is really trying to make sure Gwen’s okay. Those two really are perfect for each other. I’m very thankful to have them here with me.

Sweetie, I know you said it’s not a big deal, but I really am sorry your idea didn’t win at work. There will be other opportunities, don’t worry. You WILL go back to Europe at some point. Have faith.

Love always,

Mom

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Lori,

Thank you so much for everything you did for my mom during her stay. Please make sure that Julie knows how much the Sign Language classes meant to my mom.

I stopped by last week to thank David and Gwen and see how they were doing. I don’t think I can come back for a while, but I want them to also know the flowers were very nice.

I’ve been taking a while off work and focusing on myself. I’m still in shock with everything, but I’ll be okay.

As you know, my mother was hiding a bit more than the pain - I don’t know how I had no idea about this account of hers. Did she ever mention it or talk about it? What a crazy few weeks it’s been.

I’m using the money like my mom wanted and am planning a trip to Europe for Charlie, Ivan, and I for two years out from now.

Again, thank you very much for all that you have done for my mother.

Sincerely,

Annalise