A Mother's Inheritance

Michelle couldn't stop crying. How long had it been since the funeral? She hadn’t showered, and only got out of bed when absolutely necessary. People came to check on her, gave her food and kind words, though she didn’t say anything to any of them. Her phone was dead. The curtains remained drawn. Her only child, just barely older than she was when she became pregnant with him, was dead. For the past twenty-two years it had been just the two of them and now it was just her. Someone knocked on her bedroom door.

"Ms. Williams?" It was Irene, her son's girlfriend. Why was she here? She didn't want to talk to anyone. She knocked on the door again. "Ms. Williams, it's Irene, can I come in?" She heard the door open, but she kept her eyes shut, pretending to be asleep. She felt a hand and a gentle push on her shoulder, "Ms. Williams wake up, I brought something for you." She remained still and silent, like a toddler might when pretending not to be awake. "It's from your son." She opened her eyes, and looked at Irene. Her hair was up in a messy bun and her eyes were red from crying. She was wearing one of Michael’s old sweatshirts that hadn’t been washed in some time, an old coffee stain still visible.

"What?".

"Ms. Williams, Michael told me to give this to you after the funeral." Irene sat down on the bed near Michelle’s feet. "It's a video." Irene held up her phone, as if she was going to just hand Michelle the video. "Where is your phone?"

"It's around here somewhere." Michelle rolled over and passed her hand around her nightstand, feeling for the cold glass and metal box. When she found it she handed it to Irene. "I think it's still dead."

"It's okay I'll plug it in for you."

Realizing that her son had left a video, Michelle got up and grabbed a brush, running it through her hair while they sat waiting for the phone.

"What's in the video?" Michelle asked.

"I don't know, he said it's for you so out of respect I didn't watch it." She stopped for a moment, and Michelle's phone began to come alive. "He left me one too." Michelle could see the wetness forming in Irene's eyes.

"I'm sorry honey." Irene forced a smile in response. Michelle reached her arm around and pulled Irene close to her. Irene rested her shoulder on Michelle in response. In the background they heard the phone turn on and resume it’s endless notification song. Michelle flipped the switch to make it silent and they waited in each other’s embrace until the room was silent. Irene leaned out of Michelle’s arm and picked her phone, transferred the video and gave Michelle back her phone.

"Here Ms. Williams, just click here and it'll start playing." Irene got up, and left the room. She said "I'm sorry for your loss." And then she was gone.

Michelle was shaking so much she could barely hold her phone, the video had a title on it: For The Best Mom.

She tapped play.

"Hey Mom." He was sitting at the desk he kept in his room. He looked healthy, which made her wonder how long ago he had recorded this video. "If you're watching this it means that I must be gone now. What a weird thing to say, I mean I'm only twenty-two and I'm composing a memorial video." Michael put on one of his classic smirks. "That is some bull! There I said it!" He laughed. "The reason I'm recording this is so I can look you in the eyes one last time. After my friend Vinny died after graduation, I saw all the crap his family had to go through financially, so I took out a life insurance policy on myself. It’s for $20,000 and I hoped it would go unused, but I also didn't want you to worry about money if something were to happen to me. Now that I am dying, I have a request, for what I would like you to do with the money.

I want you to take the payout and travel. Before the pandemic hit, I had been planning a year-long trip around the world. I have lists of places I wanted to see and things that I want to do. Since the cancer has ruined those plans for me forever, I want you to go on this trip for me." He pulled from out of frame, a black leather bound notebook about the size of a paperback novel. "This looks like a normal black notebook, but it's not. This is a special notebook with special powers. You see when you write in it, I can read it, even from heaven. So everything you experience, you write it down in here and it'll be like I'm right there with you."

He set the notebook back down and looked away from the camera, avoiding eye contact. He brought his hands up to cover his face and when he began speaking again she could hear the sobs in his voice. "I'm sorry this is happening to you mom. I'm sorry I'm not there to comfort you." He brought his hands down away from his face. "I love you, and I want you to know I'll always be with you." He kissed his fingers then pressed them into the camera, and the sound of his tears stopped along with the video.

She re-watched that video hundreds of times, memorizing every detail she could, the way he sounded, the way he looked. She didn't want to forget. The more she watched, the more she saw, the time she taught him to ride a bike. That time when he was five and stripped down to his underwear, threw a blanket over his shoulders like a cape and called himself "Captain Underpants." She remembered his whole life.

She got up and took a long hot shower, thinking about his request and how he must’ve felt while recording the video. She wrapped herself in a towel, blew her hair dry and put it up in her favorite hair clip. After she got dressed she went into Michael’s room and got the notebook he had left for her. She sat on his bed and hesitantly opened it, on the inside cover was taped a picture, her favorite of the two of them, they were standing side by side, his arm around her shoulder right after his high school graduation, cap and gown still on and they were smiling, truly happy and excited for what the future might bring. Beneath the picture, in his handwriting was written 'I'm always with you.' She kept the notebook with her everywhere. She set it next to her plate at the kitchen table as she ate some of the food her friends had left. When she woke the next morning, the notebook was still in her hand.

After breakfast she went to her computer, and began searching for destinations. Then she remembered that Michael already had places he wanted to go. So she went into his room, and grabbed his copy of 1000 Places To See Before You Die, filled with post-it notes, highlights, underlines and scrawlings. She held the two books in her hands and closed her eyes.

We'll see it Michael, she thought, we'll see it all my baby boy.

Together.