A hard life

Well Ive always wanted to share my story. What other great place to start then right here? When i was 13, my parents split up. I knew that was going to happen cause they absolutely hated each other. I also knew there was something off about my mother. She would leave every morning and would not come back till late. My dad was a truck driver, gone 5\6 weeks at a time, and even when he was home she would leave. But anyways, when my das left, my mom got into a bad depression. He had cheated and got the woman pregnant. So much for just splitting up. Not too long after that happen, my just turned 16 year old sister got pregnant. And everything came into a clear picture. My mom was badly addicted to opioids. Vicoden mainly. Well, that was a rough time to be me. At 13, i took care of myself. Stealing whatever hygiene products i needed or clothes i needed cause all our money went to drugs. My mom would take me to walmart, kohls, jcpennys, and target to steal 200$ worth of clothes so we could return them and get a store card for her to sell for her pills. Weather i got caught, no big deal. So when i was 14, i was partying with my 5 best friends with men who were in there 20s, 30s and 40s. So i ended up pregnant. My mom couldnt take the shame and MADE me get an abortion. Worst experience of my world. But my 16, i thought i found the love of my life. I would see him everyday. Uptill i moved to my dads so my mom could go to rehab(never did). That lasted 3 months. My dads gf was addicted to pills to so i was just a babysitter. They kept me away from my boyfriend but we still talked everyday. The day i decided to leave, she blew up. Kicked me out and made me wait up the street with all of my stuff. So embarrassing. But my brother came for me. Informed me i couldnt see My bf anymore cause he was older than my own brother. I still saw him though. And by 17, i was pregnant again! This time i wasnt gonna let my mom have that control so i moved in with my bf and his parents. Love these people to death. So time goes on, we have freddy and im loving my life. I get pregnant again 3 weeks after having him! Oh no:( i carry the baby till 3 months and lost it. Horrible times. So we go on, things arent going to well with bf cause he started to transport crystal meth from california to Idaho. I ended up getting pregnant again! He got to greedy and at 4 months prego, he got caught. He is an illegal alien. He was in jail for 9 months and then got deported. So yes he was in jail when i gave birth to our baby girl. About 3 years later, we are finally able to reunite. I take our two kids to mexico to live. But things feel weird. He's hiding his phone. He's gone unexplained. He's 31 at the time. He got a 16 year old pregnant. I want to leave. But he's fighting me for the kids. So he goes to work one day and i just leave on a 5 day bus trip with 2 little kids back to California. His parents helped me get back home. So yes we went back with them. About two years later i find the love of my life again. Within two months with the kids and I'm loving life completely I'm so happy. So after about four months removed from where we were living at another place and I start using meth. It just starts piling down things you know aren't going to good with me and him and I'm just losing it you know so we end up moving to another town and he has to go work out in Los Angeles because he got his old job back and he's and a legal alien to so of course it's hard for him to work. So I'm staying in our apartment by myself with my kids and I'm using meth. He ends up finding out and everything just is so bad like I lost our rent because somebody stole it from me because I let them come into use meth with me I just I lost it I was so horrible. But he still stayed with me I ended up moving back to Modesto with my kids as grandchildren and I waited for him to come back it took about four months for him to get back to Modesto to stay with me but everything was so wrong we lasted about four months and he ended up leaving me because I was still using and it was just the worst thing in my life I love that man so much and I don't know how to let him go because I still love that man to this day. I am clean now I've been clean for a year but I just wanted to let all of this out and see if other people can learn from it or you know I'm a Survivor though I get through every day for my kids