A day with my husband

There are so many things that are in my mind about my marriage with my passed away husband, so many that I could never write them all unless I was willing to become a full time writer, but today I gain the courage to write one of them.

To me doing this is like watching a tear puller and writing it creates the same crying effect that it does to the people I tell about it, and this is the reason I don´t sit to write about this moments.

Ok here it goes.

Sandy was in bed, we still didn't know that he would end up in hospice as we thought there was still a chance for him to survive.

He was complaining to me about his immobility, how before he could do things that today he could not, he mentioned splitting the wood for his fireplace, he mentioned going out to eat and he even said that he was incapable to surprise me with flowers anymore, he didn't stop at that but after a while I changed the conversation and got him involved into one of the TV programs he liked to watch.

After a while he fell asleep, so I went to the store and bought a dozen of roses and came back as fast as I could, then I talked to one of the girls that rented a room in the house.

I told her about my conversation with Sandy and I told her that she has to go and tell Sandy that I told her about the conversation I had with him but to omit that I bought flowers for him to give me.

She told him following my instructions that she had a plan and that was to get him some flowers so he could give to me.

I was not supposed to know, I was in the room behind where the bed was, I could not hear the conversation but I could hear my friend´s voice, and even though I couldn't make out what was said I knew what was being talked about.

After a while my friend came out of the room and she saw me on the way out and she shouted towards Sandy, YEAH Sandy, I will tell Vicky you are looking for her when I see her (she was looking at me when she said that)

I waited a minute and I came into the room...

My man had the most beautiful eyes in the world but at that moment his eyes were full of joy, pride and happiness.

Me: Tell me Sandy, you where looking for me?

Sandy: Yes I have something for you.

So I crawl on the bed and I get close to his face and I tell him... what is it a kiss? I gave him a big smile at a few inches from his face that was glowing with happiness and pride.

He unveiled the flowers that were under the covers and he gave me more of that proud smile...

I did my best effort to look surprised and it didn't take me much to get tears rolling as I would question him how did he do it.

He never told me, it remained his secret the way he was able to give roses to his lady even though he was already in every practical way disabled to do so.

We stayed there for a while watching TV (without watching it) and he must have said some 4 times in the next hour something that alluded to the surprise he made to me, and in each time I was looking amazed and grateful, I was so proud to give him this empowerment once again in his life, I was so glad that till the day he died he thought of that moment to be real, and even though I cheat by setting up something behind his knowledge for obvious reason I was ok with that for this time.

I hope he is doing well, it is being 3 years coming into 4 and I miss him almost every day.