99% of children's success comes from 1% of father's change (thought-provoking)

I saw this scene in the ophthalmology department of the hospital two days ago. A father scolded a boy of seven or eight years old: "I asked you to play with your mobile phone more. Now you can't see clearly!" The boy replied with an unconvinced face: "Why don't you say that you play with your mobile phone every day? Let me learn every day, have you learned by yourself?", Don't compromise: "I'm your father. Can a child compare with an adult?" "You can't manage yourself. Why do you manage me?"

I can't help thinking of a sentence: like father, like son.

Also in the hospital, a father was praised by the whole network. The father, who accompanied his son to take a drip, was not impatient and did not play with his mobile phone. Instead, he took out his book and read it. For two hours, Dad didn't touch his cell phone. Influenced by his father, the son beside him is also reading carefully.

The key to education is self-education. In a family, father is the template of children's behavior habits, the beacon of children's growth, and the strength pillar of children's spiritual world. The way the father exposes to the child is the future of the child.

If father can't manage himself well, much education is useless.

A teacher friend who has been working for many years once shared one thing.

There is a little boy in her class who looks smart and has a bad habit. After much deliberation, she decided to visit the boy's home to communicate with his parents. The first problem my friend said was that the boy always likes to interrupt the teacher's words in class, and he always sits in a crooked position. Before his friend finished speaking, the boy's father cut in: "Teacher, which class does he like to talk? Did you find it or did other teachers reflect it?" During the talk, the father also shook his legs. The way of communication, expression and action are too familiar to my friends. The friend then gave feedback: the boy likes to use dirty words, and is also irritable and impulsive. He often quarrels with others. After listening, Dad clapped on the table: "Shit, this kid, come back to see if I don't teach him a lesson." When a friend said that the boy did his homework very carelessly, and his handwriting was particularly scribbled, The father complained more: "The teacher is not my fault. I sent him to practice calligraphy since I was a child. I asked him to learn this and that. After school, I also sent him to the evening care every day. A special person watched him. But the child was too arrogant. I spent so much money, but he became worse and worse..." The friend couldn't help asking, did you study with him at home? The father looked incredible: "I'm old enough to learn anything. Don't I count on him?" The father found the answers to all the questions about the child. The friend was very helpless and sighed that the child did not perform well, and the relationship with his father was too great.

Psychologist Bai Yanyi once pointed out that most of children's shortcomings originate from their fathers. Some studies also show that the role of father has irreplaceable influence on children's learning, character, emotion, quality, sense of value and other aspects. A father, if he muddles along, should not expect his children to be self-disciplined and self-motivated; If your behavior habits are not standardized, don't blame your child for lack of cultivation; If your vision is not broad enough, don't blame your child for being short-sighted. The father's appearance in the family hides the child's future. Therefore, instead of trying to pull the child, father should do his best.

Good education is all about working hard on yourself

Suhomlinski, an educator, said: "Every father is an envoy. Only if the envoy keeps learning and corrects his own ideas and character, can the children he trains be independent in the crowd."

Rather than constantly urging and urging behind the children, the father should do more is to walk in front of the children, straighten up and set an example.

1. Control your temper and shape your child's good character

The research association of the University of Cambridge in the UK has conducted an experiment on the relationship between heredity and character. The results show that "the intelligence of children is greatly affected by their mothers, while the character is greatly affected by their fathers. A father who has a mild temper and loves to praise his children will educate children to be more confident, optimistic and strong." The father's peaceful mood, like a beacon on the way of children, can always bring light and strength to children.

Wang Xianping is such a father in the TV series "Our Days". His daughter, Wang Xuehua, was mischievous and made trouble everywhere since childhood. He never blushed and always patiently educated her. His daughter is not open-minded in learning, can't recite ancient poems, and is not good at math. He never gets angry in a hurry, and also persuades his mother: "Snow is a general, and the general is late." Even if the teacher asks parents, he is not angry, but stands out and speaks for her at the first time. Because of her father's gentleness, Wang Xuehua's poor grades did not affect her to become a confident girl. Because of his father's understanding, Wang Xuehua has grown into a lively, cheerful and kind "little sun". The father's temper will imperceptibly penetrate into the child's life attitude and become a part of the child's character. A father who can control his temper well can teach his children emotional management.

2. Ask yourself to be self-disciplined and drive children to make progress

Zheng Yuanjie, the "king of fairy tales", has always adhered to a principle when it comes to educating children: first learn from father, then learn from bully. He once insisted on getting up at 4:30 every day to write 6000 words, which he never stopped for 36 years. My daughter asked him why you got up so early. He said: "Finish the most important thing first, so that it will be very easy for a day, otherwise nothing can be done safely." Under this personal teaching, my daughter started from the first day of primary school, and the first thing to go home after school is to concentrate on finishing her homework, and then do other things. He never said "you should work hard" to his daughter, but always said "Zheng Yuanjie, you should work hard" to himself. Influenced by him, his daughter said, "I can only be the real daughter of Zheng Yuanjie if I become the first in the whole school." Finally, his daughter was really admitted to six famous universities with the first grade in the whole school.

Father is the best teacher for children. An excellent self-disciplined child often has a father with strong self-control around him who is fully supporting him. So, when your child is lazy and does not want to make progress, you may as well close your mouth and raise your feet, and show your child how to walk in life. If the father is right, the child will be right.

3. Take the "father's role" and give children a happy growth environment

A father once asked Professor Medina, a famous brain neuroscientist, for advice: "Professor, tell me how can I help my son enter Harvard University?" Medina replied: "From now on, you go home and love your wife." Because the more stable the wife's mood is, the more stable the family's mood is, the higher the happiness index of the whole family will be, and the better the child's performance will be. The absence of a father is the best education for children, and also the key to a better family. Therefore, father may as well spend his time brushing his cell phone, playing games and having dinner with his mother to do housework and give her care, support, help, understanding, understanding and hope. With less burden on mother's body, more smile on her face and more abundance in her heart, mother will naturally give back a warm, harmonious and happy family atmosphere to her child. This kind of growth soil can make boys more responsible and responsible when they grow up, and girls more confident when they grow up.

4. Take care of your own words and deeds and cultivate children's good character

British educationalists once said that father's words and deeds are silent teachers, and conscious or unconscious role models will exert a subtle influence on children. If you want to cultivate an educated child, your father must set an example and be strict with himself at all times, everywhere and everything, so as to become an example of the child's life.

The host Bai Yansong said such a thing in the interview. His family lives on the top floor. Every day after taking the elevator home, he will press "1" to return the elevator to the first floor. Because everyone comes home at night, let the elevator go down, which can facilitate people waiting for the elevator on the first floor and shorten the waiting time. Although he never told his son that you should do this, his son soon learned to think for others. Every time he stepped out of the elevator, his son took the initiative to push the elevator back to the first floor. The child can't listen to his father's great principles, but will imitate his father's every move. If the father can constantly correct his attitude towards life and improve his behavior, the child will naturally follow his father's footsteps towards good and upward.

99% of children's success comes from 1% of father's change

According to the educational psychology theory, the mother's role is to provide a sense of security, while the father is an example for the formation of children's important abilities and values. Dad's influence on children is not what you say, but what you do. The father's own behavior is of great significance to the child.

I read a little story about a father who likes to drink. He goes to the pub in the town for a drink every day. One day when it was snowing heavily, he walked to the tavern, humming a song as usual. As he walked, he suddenly felt that someone was following him. Looking back, it turned out to be his young son, who followed his footprints and shouted excitedly: "Dad, look how thick the snow is! I'm stepping on your footprints!" His son's words shocked him. He thought: If I go to the pub, my son will follow my footprints and find the pub. So my father changed his route and went to the library at the end of the town. Since then, the father has changed his habit of drinking and has never been to a pub again.

We often say that the best time to plant a tree is ten years ago, followed by now. The same is true of education. As long as the father is willing to set a good example for the children and make changes for them, it is never too late. Because the most likely way for children to grow up is to copy you now. Therefore, before asking children to become "children of others", fathers might as well become "father of others".

If you take a small step hard, your child can take a big step forward.