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7 Rules That Will Help You Educate an Honest Child

It's important for the kid to get a good education.

By Catriona HeatonPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
7 Rules That Will Help You Educate an Honest Child
Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

All children lie. If this happens rarely, you shouldn't be alarmed. But if lying becomes a habit, you need to intervene.

When addressing the reason why your child is lying, consider the age, circumstances, and reasons for the lie, and how often this behavior occurs. For example, many children under the age of 6 cannot yet make a clear distinction between fantasy and reality, and "lying" can be an expression of their imagination. At the same time, a 4-year-old can tell a lie to avoid a problem or to get what he wants.

7 rules that can help you raise a sincere child

Make the truth a value of the family.

All families have a set of rules and values. Make the truth a family value. Encourage honesty and honest talk, especially when the truth is hard to tell.

Explain to the child the harm that lying can cause and the reasons why people lie. Tell the little one that you expect him to be honest with you.

Be a role model.

If you want to shape your child's behavior, it means you have to tell the truth all the time. Children cannot distinguish social lies from other lies. For example, if you are hiding the truth about your child's age to gain some facilities, know that later on, the child will imitate your behavior to get rid of not only social but also family commitments.

Explain to the child what the difference is between truth and falsehood.

Until about 4 years old, the child will not make a clear distinction between truth and falsehood, however, always explain the difference. The child needs to know what the consequences of lying are and what lies ahead. You can give an example of your favorite toy: "How would you feel if I said that your robot belongs to a colleague?" You can turn to therapeutic stories for behavior correction.

If you find your child is constantly lying, talk to him about the consequences. Explain to him that the truth is coming to the surface anyway, and your lack of sincerity will make it hard for you to believe it next time, even when he is telling the truth. And people usually avoid trusting people who are known to tell lies.

It is very important to teach your child how to keep his balance between sincerity and compassion. Sometimes the truth can offend or sadden someone. For example, your foot needs to understand that it is not necessary to tell your friend that he does not like the way he dresses today; even if in his opinion this is true.

Find out the reason for the lie.

Here are 8 common reasons why children lie:

  • rich imagination,
  • fear of punishment,
  • the desire to attract attention,
  • the desire to achieve something,
  • dissatisfaction or conflicts (internal or family),
  • the need to be praised, to impress, or to elevate one's status to brothers or friends.
  • to avoid something they don't want to do,
  • the desire not to disappoint parents when expectations are too high.

Only after you have determined the reason for the lie can you make a plan to respond to the situation.

If the child has a rich imagination, help him to distinguish between imagination and reality. For example, the child might say that he has a plane in the yard as big as a stadium. It would be good for you to ask him if this is his wish to have such a plane or if it is so.

Develop the discussion by helping him understand the difference between wanting something and being real. However, it could happen that the little one simply plays and invites you into this imaginary game. As long as everyone is aware that it is a simple game of imagination, there is no problem.

But if the child is lying to impress or to give importance because he has low self-esteem or wants to capture attention, you will have to discuss it very seriously. In these situations, the activities of learning new social skills are recommended - they help to increase self-esteem.

At other times, the lie can be used to get the little one to get what he wants. Do not accept to be manipulated. Make it clear that you know the truth and what you think about it. But at the same time, emphasize the appreciation of responsibility and sincerity rather than blaming or embarrassing the child. Keep your tone calm and empathetic. If you are angry, shouting, or threatening, your child will always lie to defend himself.

Explain to the child the consequences of lying.

The child needs to know what the consequences will be if he breaks the family rules and lies about it. For example, on this day you will restrict access to the computer. Remind them that you have learned the truth anyway.

Make sure the punishment is appropriate and fair. If you are not consistent, the little one will not know how to proceed.

Encourage sincerity.

Encourage honest discussion, even if the child is wrong. You can tell her, "I know it was hard for you to tell me you destroyed your sneakers, but I'm glad you chose to be honest with me."

Help your child to trust you.

The child should know that, regardless of the mistake made, he can talk to you about it at any time. You can even make a deal that clearly states the privileges of honesty.

All children lie occasionally, but you mustn't lose control of this tendency. The child must be aware that the truth is a manifestation of personal responsibility, trust, and care. And from the moment the little one knows that you expect the truth from him and that you will support him in this direction, there will be more sincerity in your home.

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