5 Healthy tips for co- parenting!

Struggling with co-parenting? Struggling with a recent separation from the other parent of your child? Experiencing arguments, bad days, and stress? Here are a few tips that I learned on my co - parenting journey to help keep it healthy!

Tip 1: Make shared decisions!

Consult the other parent when making decisions regarding school, extra curricular activities, and medical care. Making shared decisions will not only help your co - parenting relationship with the other parent but present a united front for the child. Presenting a united front shows the child that you both are on the same level. It also helps feel more secure in the co- parenting situation. This also helps relieve the arguments between parents who are doing co - parenting because they both feel involved equally.

Tip 2: Separating your relationship with your ex from co - parenting!

This is an extremely important tip for improvement. Just because the relationship didn’t last, doesn’t mean that the co- parenting relationship can’t last! Do I need to say it louder for the people in the back? That’s right, separate the problems that you had in your relationship from the co- parenting relationship. Your co- parenting relationship is all about your child and nothing else! When you meet for drop off and pick up only discuss situations or events related to your child. Avoid discussions about your personal life and the past. Discussing events in your personal life opens you up for judgement from the other parent. It also can cause conflict if the other parent doesn’t agree and they may have bad feelings toward you. It’s best to keep the co- parenting relationship professional. The child is the business and only the business should be discussed.

Tip 3: Develop a consistent schedule!

Consistency is key! A consistent schedule provides stability for the child! That way your child knows exactly what house their going to be at each day of the week! Don’t allow the other parent too just show up whenever they feel like it! You need your privacy just as much as the other parent does! Create a consistent FaceTime and Skype schedule, for the same time every day! This way everyone knows when the other parent is calling and there is no confusion of missed calls or the other parent feeling ignored! Have a consistent schedule for sports and extra curricular activities so both parents are aware and able to make arrangements too attend!

Tip 4: Problem solving!

When a problem arises, sit down and talk to solve the problem! Avoid yelling, shouting, and getting frustrated. Instead write out the problem, and then write out the steps you both are going to take to solve it! Writing it out provides a document that both parents can reference so no one forgets! This also prevents one parent from saying you said you would do this or that. If you write it down, it is what it is. Anything in writing can be referenced at any time! Writing an email is also better for your children because they will not hear the disagreement or problem through a phone conversation. It also provides more structure and holds each parent accountable for solving the problem. Problems happen in co- parenting, whether they are financial, academic, and or extra curricular activity related. Write it down so it’s set in stone!

Tip 5: Do not demean or complain about the other parent to your child or children!

That’s right! Your kids don’t need to know how you feel about your ex- partner! The idea is to put on a united front for your kids. They need too feel secure with both parents. If you're sending them to the other parents house with negative thoughts it will cause conflict at the other parents house during their parenting time. It also weighs emotionally on the child. If your upset with the other parent discuss it with the other parent, and or a trusted friend. Your kids don’t need to go to the other parents house feeling down about the other parent. The idea is too keep your relationship with the co- parent Switzerland. A united front is what’s best for the kids in the end. It provides more security. It also allows them to feel proud , and or look up to each parent equally. Both parents are a role model in a certain way. We don’t want to discredit either parent.

I have been co- parenting for about 6 years now! I have found these 5 simple tips too be so useful! I wish you all well on your co - parenting journeys and hope these tips help!