4 Reasons Why Opening Your Home Will Connect Communities.

We don't give out our house keys anymore. Growing up, we never locked our house. In fact, my house was Grand Central Station with beds. Every day another person would be joining us for dinner or spending the night just because.

It was special and not a normal thing even for the years I saw my parents open the house to anyone who needed a place to just be for a while. Now, even more, our homes have become sacred, closed-off places that we allow only the closest of close people into. We are worried it is too dirty, or not big enough, or maybe we are worried that by opening our homes we are opening ourselves to being vulnerable to those around us. We meet friends at a coffee shop or a diner not wanting our place to be invaded, knowing that we will have no place of escape.

But then I was invited to dinner. To dinner at someone's house. After the past years of isolation, I can't express the joy and kindness that overwhelmed me when I received the invitation and joined a few friends for dinner in someone's home. It was cozy, inviting and a night filled with kindness and relationships that strengthened faster than I could have imagined.

So this year, this year I want to open my home to people around me because I believe that if I open my home to those around me, they too will feel that sense of kindness, communities will be formed outside of the current societal boundaries, and maybe even hurt will be mended. There will be walls taken down and friendships formed in places we never could have imagined.

1. Our home is sacred, to invite people in is to be vulnerable. I have always believed that to build friendships there has to be a level of vulnerability. And this is hard, really hard. But the simple act of hosting a dinner for a few friends, inviting them into your space, gives them a safe ground to stand on too. It removes the noise of restaurants or coffee shops and allows you to have conversations that are deeper than bad coffee and splitting the bill. When friends are gathered in your living room, you have laid the foundation for opening up to each other. You have opened your personal space for them to join you in, having done that, you allow the gathering to become more than just drinks after work. You open the time to be community building and kindness giving.
2. So many people have only experienced broken homes in their life, make a happy home with them. It's devastating the number of people who consider themselves coming from a broken home. If that is all they know, that is all they will see. Maybe you're in this place too, maybe you're looking back on the pain that the word 'home' brings with it. Not to sound cliche or anything, but you are the author of your own story. Rewrite the definition of home. Maybe it doesn't have a mom or dad, maybe it's a game night on a Thursday, or bring your own takeout on Saturday nights. Whatever it may be, be kind to yourself as you rebuild and then extend that kindness to others to rebuild right alongside you. The walls you build with them will be stronger than the ones that broke down around you.
3. When we extend our tables we extend our hearts. Before my husband and I got married we struggled to pick out a dining room table. I was so insistent on the table having the ability to extend, and I'm so glad about how picky we were. Because now, our table never looks the same. There are always new people coming in and out, and we always have the ability to make room. Friends of friends gather around and sometimes I know only a few of the people who come through my door. But the moment I opened it I was gifted the ability to build relationships with people I never would have before. If I close my door to people I don't know then my table would never change and my home would never grow. I'm so grateful for the new faces that come, the new stories they tell, and the spaces in my heart that they fill.
4. Actions speak louder than words. How maybe times have you heard "We should get dinner sometime" or "Let's catch up, it's been too long" from someone in your life? Probably more than you'd like to admit. So stop stalling and invite them for dinner. Take action. There's something sacred about a kitchen table. To be invited to someone's home to share a meal with them is a kindness that is hard to replicate anywhere else. To some, it can seem very simple, but to others an invitation for a homecooked meal (or takeout) around a kitchen table there's a warmth there that will overflow.

So, this year, I would like to open my home. To stop worrying about it not being clean enough or close enough to events for an after-party. In fact, the best advice I ever heard about people coming to your house was at a friend's bridal shower. The lady said she always tells people "If you want to see my house, give me a 24-hour notice. But if you want to see me, come by anytime." A reminder that it is the memories inside a home that carries into the joy of tomorrow.

This year, I want to open my heart to building community outside my current friend groups but starting by sending out invitations. Opening my heart and my front door, and maybe handing out a few housekeys.