Think Twice Before You Believe What You Hear

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Why It's Important to Question Gossip and Be Kind

Have you ever heard something bad about someone and later found out it wasn’t true? Maybe you believed it at first because it came from someone you trusted. But later, you discovered that the person spreading the news had their own issues with the person they were talking about. That’s what the saying “Be careful what you hear about somebody, you might be hearing it from the problem” is all about.

This wise saying reminds us to be careful when listening to gossip or negative talk. Sometimes, the person sharing the story is not telling the full truth. They might be upset, jealous, or trying to make someone else look bad to feel better about themselves. If we accept what they say without thinking, we could end up judging someone unfairly—and that’s not right.

The Real Danger of Gossip

Gossip can spread like wildfire. One person says something, then another repeats it, and soon everyone believes it. But no one stops to ask: Where did this information come from? Is it even true? Most of the time, people don’t. They just go along with it because it’s easy or because they want to fit in.

But words are powerful. Hurtful stories, even if they’re not true, can damage a person’s reputation. Friendships can break, people can feel isolated, and someone’s whole life can be affected by a lie or an exaggeration. That’s why it’s so important to think before you believe what you hear.

Ask Yourself: Who’s Telling the Story?

The next time you hear something negative about someone, pause and ask yourself a few questions:

Do I know this person well?

Do I trust the one sharing the story?

Could they have a reason to make the other person look bad?

Is it possible they’re leaving out important details?


Sometimes, the person spreading the news might actually be the problem. Maybe they had a fight with the person they’re talking about, or they’re upset because they didn’t get their way. Instead of solving the problem in a healthy way, they choose to talk behind someone’s back. That’s not honest, and it’s definitely not kind.

Try to See the Full Picture

Instead of believing just one side, try to look at the full picture. Talk to others who know the person. If you feel comfortable, ask the person involved directly. You might learn that what you heard was only part of the story—or completely false.

Also, imagine how you would feel if someone believed something bad about you that wasn’t true. You’d want people to come and ask you first, right? You’d want a fair chance to explain. So, let’s give that same respect to others.

Choose Kindness Over Judgment

It’s easy to judge someone when you only hear negative things about them. But what if they’re going through a tough time? What if they made a mistake and are trying to fix it? Everyone makes mistakes. What matters most is how we treat others while they’re learning and growing.

When we choose kindness instead of judgment, we make the world a better place. We help people feel seen and heard, rather than torn down.

Turn This Saying Inward Too

This saying doesn’t just apply to how we treat others—it can also help us understand ourselves. Think about how you talk to yourself. Are you sometimes too hard on yourself? Do you listen to that little voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough” or “You always mess things up”?

That inner voice might be your own “problem.” It could be based on fear, past failures, or someone else’s hurtful words. Don’t believe everything it says. Challenge it. Replace it with kinder, more honest thoughts like, “I’m doing my best” or “I can learn and improve.”

Build a Better World With Your Words

Words can build people up or tear them down. The choice is ours. If we speak with care, listen with understanding, and think before we judge, we can help create a more respectful and caring world.

So, the next time someone tells you something bad about another person, remember this: Be careful what you hear about somebody—you might be hearing it from the problem. Ask questions, be thoughtful, and always lead with kindness. That way, you’ll be part of the solution, not part of the problem.