The Isolation of Ambition: A Reflection on Boundaries and Success

This should be left in my journal where nobody may read it until I die. Instead, I’m publishing it to the Journal community.

Why? Because the workplace is not just a place of business—it’s a stage where human nature reveals itself in its rawest forms. No matter how much we like to believe professionalism keeps us separate from our personal lives, the truth is that work is just another microcosm of society. And in any society, people seek connection, validation, and identity.

I’ve never been particularly good at playing the part people want me to play. I don’t play the office bestie, the maternal figure, the emotional dumping ground. I don’t pretend to like people more than I do. But because I’m naturally empathetic—because my presence exudes warmth whether I want it to or not—people gravitate toward me. They want something from me that I never offered to give.

19th Street—There is a woman who watches from the corner office at exactly 2:00 pm.

She is the kind of woman who keeps her desk pristine, her emails concise, and her face unreadable. She doesn’t engage in small talk unless necessary. She doesn’t attend happy hours. She doesn’t ask about your weekend.

Her colleagues whisper about her behind closed doors. She’s cold. She’s full of herself. She thinks she’s better than us.

But she isn’t. She simply exists in a space where she doesn’t belong.

I know this woman well. She is me.

I entered my current workplace with the best of intentions. It was supposed to be temporary—a bridge between where I was and where I was going. I had a one-year contract, just enough time to save money and sharpen my skills before stepping into the career I truly wanted. The job itself was easy. Manageable. A perfect stepping stone.

Until it wasn’t.

Until people mistook my kindness for an invitation.

The Problem with Being Too Open (or Not Open Enough)

There’s a concept in psychology called parasocial relationships—one-sided relationships where one person develops emotional attachment to someone who barely acknowledges their existence. These relationships are common between celebrities and fans, but I’ve c

That’s what happened with my coworker. She wanted a friendship I didn’t con

At first,

Then, whe

Suddenly, I

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She didn’t just distance herself. She retaliated.

I became the villain in a story I never asked to be part of. She started whispering to others. She tried to turn people against me. She even attempted to undermine my position in the company. But here’s the thing about pushing too hard—sometimes you fall off the edge yourself.

She left before I did.

Not because I fought back, but because she fought a battle that never needed to be fought.

The Cycle of Unwanted Attachment

I thought the problem was over. I thought I could breathe. But then came the new hire.

Another woman. Another attempt at forced closeness. Another person desperate for a connection I wasn’t offering.

This time, it wasn’t hostility. This time, it was suffocation.

Unprompted texts after hours. Oversharing details about her personal life. Seeking validation, approval, recognition—all things I didn’t want to provide.

I’ve spent hours trying to understand why this keeps happening to me.

Is it because I’m reserved? Do people see mystery as an invitation to break me open?

Is it because I’m kind? Do people confuse basic decency for deep emotional availability?

Or is it something more deeply rooted in workplace dynamics?

The Unspoken Burden of Being “The Strong One”

Research in organizational psychology suggests that individuals who exhibit high levels of emotional intelligence often become emotional caretakers for their colleagues—whether they want to or not. Workplace culture unconsciously assigns roles: the mentor, the mother figure, the confidant.

I never volunteered for the role of confidant. But because I manage my emotions well, because I am not outwardly chaotic, because I do not burden others with my problems, others assume I am the safe space for their chaos.

I am not.

What I have learned is that many people seek relationships not for mutual exchange, but for emotional extraction. They want you to fill their void. They want your attention, your validation, your presence—without consideration of whether you want to give it.

And the moment you stop giving? They turn.

On Rejection, and the People Who Fear It Most

I used to think rejection was a neutral part of life—something we all experienced, learned from, and moved on from. But I’ve come to realize that some people fear rejection so much that they will punish you for making them feel it.

It happens in work. It happens in friendships. It happens in creative communities.

Not long ago, I was part of a writing group. I offered constructive feedback to those whose work I admired, but I kept silent when I didn’t connect with someone’s writing. Silence, however, was its

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There’s a psychological concept called negativity bias—the tendency t

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Where Do I Go From Here?

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And most of all, I am learning that the ability to say no—withou

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