Teacher Besties

After eight years of teaching, I could talk about a lot.

I could talk about curriculums, student behavior, administration, afterschool requirements, summer school, and so much more. But instead, I'm going to talk about one of the things that have always been a highlight in whatever school I'm in; teacher besties.

For an introvert like me, making new friends is always difficult. I'm very shy and sometimes set in my ways to the point that I don't want to get to know new people and be coerced into leaving my house to do things. But the one place that I've always found at least one friend to talk to is at school. Sometimes we stay close after leaving, sometimes not, but I've always been grateful for them.

Every year a mixture of old and new adults are thrown into a school media center or all-purpose room to get to know each other, learn about the school and its policies, and get a feel for the school community. The time varies from school to school; some are for a week, some for two. These events bring out the dreaded icebreakers, requiring people to think of "fun facts" or find vague connections with others such as places traveled, languages spoken, or hobbies.

There's always a variety of people in the room; veterans who just want to go set up their classrooms and start lesson planning; new teachers fresh out of college who are excited by everything that they're experiencing and who can't wait to get to know everyone and meet their kids for the year, and everyone in between.

My first year of teaching, I was that bright-eyed teacher, ready to tackle the year ahead. I met my teammates - a combination of veterans and two new teachers. One teacher had gone through the same Alternate Route program I was in, so he was always there with tips and support. The other first-year taught social studies and her room was diagonal from mine.

That year, she and I truly trauma bonded. Being first-year teachers was already difficult, but considering that neither of us was built for an inner-city middle school was what tipped it over the edge. We shared many tears, hugs, and words of encouragement to get us through the year. She was my first teacher bestie.

At my next school, the two ladies who were on my team were my besties. This was the first year that I went to birthday parties and things after school hours with them. This was also where I met my teacher "big sis" who taught me so much about teaching reading; several times over the years I'd spend the day at her house as she did my braids for me and we talked about life and love, goals, and dreams. Though I don't talk to them as often, we'll still check in with each other to see how things are going.

My second year at that school, I met my teacher mom, Ms. T. I was thrown into being the third-grade team leader and could not have done it without her support and the support of our other teacher, Mr. I. Our disagreements with administration and difficult parents brought us closer together as a team, and I could tell them literally anything. Ms. T and I periodically spend time together even now; I've been a guest speaker for her high school students twice, and I'll spend days with her and her family every now and then. She's always been there for me when I needed her, even offering to come and sit with me or drive me during my health struggles earlier this year. She really is another mom to me.

In my third school, I made a host of friends over my three-year tenure there; more than I'd made at previous schools. I've been to a wedding, baby showers, happy hours, and more with them. I'm still in a group chat with two of my teammates, and we periodically text each other about the shenanigans happening in our respective schools.

This is also where I met H. Neither of us has any idea how we got so close, but we text each other on almost a daily basis, now. I've shared in her joy at having her son after infertility struggles, been to her Bat Mitzvah, discussed relationships, and more. We talk about books and share teaching stories. She was one of my most important supporters during my health problems, and I'm so blessed to still have her.

In my fourth school, I met my partner teacher. While I enjoyed talking to all of the members of my team, she and I were another trauma bond. The students that we shared were constant sources of anxiety, to the point where sometimes we didn't even want to come to work. Though occasionally we would tell each other to take a day, we also encouraged each other to make it through the year. It got to the point where I wouldn't even do any actual planning during our planning period; I would just go in her room and we'd talk to decompress and distract ourselves from the chaos that we were confronted with daily. We always reminded the other that, despite how it looked or felt, we were good teachers. Friendships like those are the best, and so terribly needed.

This year that I just completed, though? This was something completely different in the best of ways.

Because I was a reading interventionist and not a classroom teacher, I had the opportunity to work with more teachers. This was also the first year that I had teachers who were all around my age, and we had more things in common outside of school. At the beginning of the year, I didn't have the materials or schedule to begin interventions, so I hung out with the 4/5 Reading teacher because I'd worked with those grades before and knew what to do with interventions. Eventually, I started working with the other grades and got to know the 2/3 Reading teacher as well.

What really turned the tide was after school. The students were dismissed to the office or the afterschool program at 4; teachers weren't allowed to leave until 4:15. So we'd gather in someone's classroom and just chat. This was how I also got to know the two math teachers on the floor. I also got close with the Special Education teacher, who had been my seat buddy during pre-service meetings at the beginning of the year. When we started learning each other's schedules better, people would come to hang out in my room during lunch and planning periods. We really formed a tight bond, the third-floor crew (that's what we called ourselves). So much so that we started walking to our cars together after work, looking for people who weren't paying attention to the time and reminding them that it was time to clock out and go home.

When my health was going up and down, they helped me get through with laughs, support, or just a listening ear. They'd distract me with other things, allowing me a brief reprieve from the constant stress that I was under. One of the math teachers made it his mission to make everyone laugh at least once a day, and he always succeeded. They all created such a safe space for me that I found myself completely comfortable talking about whatever came to mind. Baking was a stress reliever, so I would bring them baked goods periodically.

When I was finally post-surgery and on the mend, I was able to just enjoy my time with them and hang out. Now that school is over, I still am looking forward to hanging out with them and talking about things that aren't school-related (though, if I'm being honest with myself, that's what we normally did anyway).

I know that generally work friends don't always extend past contract hours. But I'm so grateful for my teacher besties, old and new, and I can't wait to see how these friendships continue to grow.