Second hand love



Chapter.1

I pass through the Phamarcy after work and buy 5 pregnancy tests because I haven't seen my peez this month and my body has been feeling weird of late. I stare at all 5 in my hand and they show two lines each.

"Not again," I groan before throwing them in the bin and crawling down against the wall.

Just then Mike calls and I pick up with trembling fingers.

"Baby?" He asks when I stay quiet.

"Yes hun?" I ask back trying hard not to cry.

"What did the results say?" He asks concerned.

"Positive," I respond and he goes quiet for a while which is expected.

"Come to my office first thing tomorrow morning so we can start the process. Don't worry sweetheart you'll be okay," he says and I find myself laughing at the words I'm hearing for the fifth time now.

"Don't worry sweetheart you'll be okay," I mimic his words as tears stream down my face and he sighs, "yes Mike, I will be okay after going through the excruciating pain of terminating a pregnancy for the fifth time now."

"Don't start please, I told you since day one that if you were to get pregnant for me that's what we'd do and you agreed to it. I'm sorry you have to go through this again but once it's all over you'll be alright," he says and if he thinks that is supposed to make me feel better, it hasn't.

"Goodnight," I say and cut the call not bothering to wait for a response from him.

I immediately burst into tears and cry my eyes out, I'm glad my housemate Sera is visiting her parents out of town so I'm home alone otherwise I wouldn't have been able to explain my cries.

If someone had told me 5 years ago that I would be in a relationship with a married man I'd laugh in their face and tell them that it would never happen. But here I am now, being someone's second option and going through abortions for him because it's what I agreed to.

You see, I was brought up in a Christian home by two God fearing parents and sex before marriage was a taboo for me and my siblings. I managed to live with that until the day I met Mike which was when things took a hard turn changing my perspective on the morals my parents had instilled in me. But this is the path I chose and since I made my bed, I have to lay in it.

*******

When I wake up the following morning my eyes are swollen from all the crying I did last night. Just as I'm about to get up I feel a knot in the pit of my stomach so I ran to the bathroom and throw up.

I think of calling in sick at work today but I can't since I just started about a month ago and I'm about to be assigned to start working upstairs as the secretary of the newly appointed director in the company.

I don't have the right qualification for this but Mike pulled some strings and got me the job after much persuasion because I didn't want to keep being dependent on him.

Speaking of Mike, I have to get to his office before going for work so I quickly head to the bathroom and take a shower ignoring the soreness and body weakness I'm having.

I settle for a shoulder-less red dress that stops somewhere on my knees and pair it off with black heels. After doing my makeup and taking some pills for the naughsea, I grab my bag then head out just in time to find the company driver parked outside waiting for me.

"Good morning Ba Derick," I greet the middle aged man who has become a good friend.

"Good morning Emma, how are you?" He asks as he drives off.

"I'm good thanks. I have a doctor's appointment this morning so you'll have to drop me off at the hospital and I'll find my way to the office once I'm done," I tell him and he nods.

"You can just give me a call when you're done and I'll pick you up," he says and I smile.

"Thank you so much, I'll do that," I tell him.

"But are you okay?" He asks concerned.

"Yes I'm fine, just a checkup that's it," I say and he nods understanding.

As he drives he tells me about his two little daughters who I've met already and how well they're doing in school.

"My wife is pregnant again and this time I don't know if it's a girl or a boy but I'll be happy with whichever," he says happily and I admire how his eyes light up for a minute.

I begin to imagine how it would be like having to tell Mike I'm pregnant and seeing the happiness on his face unlike being told to abort like it's always been.

But again I put this on myself when I accepted his proposal and though he told me I'm free to leave whenever I feel I want more, I don't think I'm ready yet.

"I'm happy for you," I tell him honestly and he smiles.

In no time, he pulls into the parking lot at the hospital and I get down telling him I'd call soon.

I walk to the department Mike's working at and tell the nurse on duty to inform the doctor I'm here for an appointment. She walks into his office and comes out a minute later telling me to go right in.

"Baby," he says standing to his feet before walking over to where I am and his wonderful scent hits me.

He's wearing a black suit with a white smart shirt inside and he looks good and clean like always.

"Hey," I wave and he smiles brightly.

"Come here," he says opening his arms wide and I lean in for a hug.

He holds me tightly and I soon relax in his arms as he softly rubs my back reassuringly. The anger I had disappears after the hug and I sigh realising I couldn't be mad at him for long.

"Have you eaten?" He asks pulling away and kissing my forehead before pointing at the sofa for me to sit.

"No I'll have something on my way to work," I say and he frowns.

"You have to eat a lot and don't skip meals during this time okay?" He asks sitting next to me and I nod my head yes.

"So you know the drill, you take this pill today and you'll come for the second one after 48 hours. I'll either call you here or I'll bring it to you, your roommate is still away right?" he asks taking out a small pill and handing it to me with a bottle of water.

Mike has never met Sera for obvious reasons and though she doesn't know I'm dating a married man, she knows I'm with someone.

"Yes she is," I respond flatly while staring at the pill.

"Emma we've been through this already, do you need counseling before you take the pill? The sooner the better," he says taking my hands in his and I sigh.

"It's easy for you to say, you're not the one who will be feeling the pain. But don't worry, I'll take it later on in the day. I wouldn't want to give birth and have a baby who will be labeled a bastard," I say angrily and he rubs his forehead which is a habit he has when he's stressed.

"Emma I care so much about you and you know it, but this is something you agreed to since day one. Let's not complicate things now please. If you want to have a baby just tell me. Once we get rid of this one, I'll let you go and you'll be free to have as many as you want but not with me," he says and I sniff holding back the tears threatening to come out.

I know I can just say the word and be out of this relationship but I can't because I've gotten too attached to Mike that I can't picture myself with anyone else despite knowing that he can never fully be mine.

Without much thought, I put the pill in my mouth and wash it down with the water he gave me.

"That's a good girl," he says but just as I'm about to respond, I feel this sudden tightness in the pit of my stomach and before I know it I throw up right on Mike's lap.

"Shit…. Baby are you okay?" He asks ignoring the mess I've made on him and grabbing me some tissue as I stare at the floor embarrassed.

"I'm okay," I say wiping my mouth.

Lucky enough none of my vomit gets on my clothes but his trousers are a mess.

"You never throw up after taking the pill, what happened?" He asks unbuttoning his jacket and I sigh.

"I really don't know, and I'm sorry for…" I try to say but he cuts me short.

"It's alright, you're lucky I carry extra clothes for emergencies," he says reaching for a fresh pair of trousers from his drawer and taking the one he has on off.

I watch as he takes his boxers shorts, which are a bit wet too, off and I swallow at the bulge on his briefs.

"Don't look at me like that or you'll make me break the rules of not having sex with you here," he says and my face flushes.

"I wasn't even thinking of that," I lie looking away and he chuckles as he dresses up.

"I'll give you some time to think things through, let me know when you're ready to start the process. But I'm giving you only up to the end of the week," he says making me face him when he's done changing.

"Alright and thanks," I say staring at him.

"I care about you, always remember that," he says and I smile.

Part of our arrangement was to never fall in love so instead of saying 'love' we use the word 'care'. I know it's weird but that's what works for us.

"I care about you too," I respond honestly and he smiles before kissing my lips lightly.

"You need some mint," he says sticking his tongue out and I laugh.

Afterwards he sends some money for me to get myself some maternity pads in advance and gives me some tablets for the naughsea and I take one before calling Ba Derick.

"How's work been so far?" He asks and I smile.

"Not bad, I'm getting the hang of things and Laura says I'm a quick learner," I respond.

"I'm glad to hear that. When are you starting your actual secretarial job?" He asks.

"I don't know yet but it's not anytime soon I hope," I say because honestly I'm scared of messing up.

"Well you got your diploma and that required brains so you'll be okay," he says taking my hand in his.

"I got that diploma with forged grade 12 results if you're forgetting," I say and he frowns.

"That doesn't make you any less of an intelligent person baby," he says and I smile as he kisses my forehead.

I've sat for gce exams 3 times and failed them all so after losing hope, Mike helped me forge the results so I could get my diploma in secretarial and office Management.

The job I'm currently having requires someone with a degree in business management but Mike pulled some strings with the company owner and got it for me which I'm really grateful for. I know it's wrong and illegal but being the dummy I am, desperate times call for desperate measures.

"I'll be leaving for work now," I say standing when Ba Derick texts saying he's outside.

I quickly use some spray and retouch my make-up before walking into Mike's arms for a hug.

"Take care of yourself for me, I'll be waiting for your response soon," he says before kissing my lips lightly.

"Alright you work well hun," I say and he smiles.

"Let me walk you out," he tells me leading the way out of the office.

"So you'll have to collect this medicine I've prescribed from the Phamarcy then give me feedback after 3 days," he says sounding all professional in the presence of the nurse outside his office.

"Alright sure, thank you so much doctor," I tell him with a smile before walking away.

To keep people from being too suspicious he diagnosed me with some fake disease which requires me to come for regular checkups and medicine pick-ups so the nurses and other doctors think I'm nothing to him more than his patient.

As I walk out a million thoughts ran through my mind and though I've been in this situation before, this time feels hard. I have a strong desire to keep the pregnancy and me throwing up the abortion pill could be a sign from above but then I had a strict agreement with Mike. Now of all times I wish my life had never taken such a turn but I'll have to figure this out one way or another.

Second Hand Love

Chapter.2

"Please drive quickly, I don't want to be late," I say getting into the passenger's seat and buckling my seatbelt.

"No driving quickly, I don't want accidents," I hear from the back seat and I turn to see the face behind the deep voice.

I see a smartly dressed handsome young man who's very good looking. He looks up from his phone and our eyes lock making me smile for some reason.

The glare he gives me though makes my smile disappear and I swallow hard.

"Boss this is Emma Kabwe and Emma, that's Mr Alex Banda ba new director besu," he says and my jaw drops.

I didn't expect my new boss to be this young or handsome but I brush the thought away.

"Nice to meet you Sir," I say and he nods his head before looking back at his phone without responding.

I just shrug and turn back looking outside the window.

The drive to work is awfully quiet and thoughts about my pregnancy crowd my mind. We soon get to the office though and I'm glad because I'll atleast have a distraction.

I get down and watch as Ba Derick opens the door for my soon to be boss who seems to be arrogant. He doesn't get off though, he instead opens the other door and gets out.

"What am I, the president?" He asks Ba Derick with a frown and I chuckle earning me a glare.

"Sorry boss," he says and he nods his head before walking off into the building.

"I'll see you later Ba Derick, and thanks," I say handing him a k50 for a drink and he smiles before thanking me.

I quickly check in with the security at the door using my card and when I'm let in, I head to the front desk.

"Morning Laura," I greet the bubbly lady found there.

"Morning Emma, you've been summoned upstairs," she says flashing a brown envelope in my face and my jaw drops.

Since I started working here I've been on trial and never gone upstairs where the actual offices are so this has made me nervous.

"Is it time yet?" I ask.

"It's time," she says excitedly and I sigh.

"Do you think I'm ready?" I ask and she frowns.

"You're the best I've had to train, you're more than ready. I want gossip yapa 5th floor ine so don't forget to keep your ears open aii?" She says and I chuckle before opening the envelope.

The letter says I have to report for my secretarial duties immediately so I quickly wave Laura goodbye before heading for the elevator.

When I get in I press 5th floor and I'm soon on my way up. It makes a stop at the second floor though and there stands my new boss with the company CEO.

"Miss Kabwe, good morning," Mr Kamfwa (CEO) greets cheerfully.

"Good morning Sir," I respond with a smile.

"Mr Banda this is Emma Kabwe your secretary, you'll find Mutale waiting to give you both an office tour on the fifth floor," he tells him and he nods before saying his goodbyes then standing next to my short frame in the elevator and the doors soon close.

He stays quiet with one hand in his pocket and the other one tapping away on his phone, the silence is so uncomfortable I just want to get away from him if possible but I can't. He has this dominating aura around him and it surprisingly makes me nervous so I know working for him won't be easy.

"Since you'll be my secretary, you should know that I love my coffee very creamy with two spoons of sugar," he says facing me and I look up at his tall frame with a smile, atleast he said something.

"Noted Sir," I respond and he nods just as the elevator comes to a stop.

He gets down first and I follow him walking towards the lady I assume is Mutale.

"Good morning Mr Banda, I am Mutale" she says smiling brightly.

"Morning to you too," he simply responds.

"And you must be Emma," she says and I smile.

"Yes I am, nice meeting you Mutale," I tell her and she smiles back.

"Like wise. This way," she tells us and we walk behind her.

"So these two are the only offices on the right side of the fifth floor, the rest are on the far left. Miss Emma, there's your office right outside Mr Banda's," she says pointing at two closed doors.

The glass doors are tinted and the marble floors are so exquisite. I open the door to my new office and I'm amazed at how beautiful it is. It's definitely bigger than I imagined and I make a mental note to give Mike a big kiss for getting me this job.

"I'll leave you both to get settled," Mutale says before walking away and I sigh.

"Settle in and get comfortable then report to my office asap," he says before opening the door to his office and I nod my head yes before getting into my new office.

I put my bag down and test the comfy chair before switching the grey laptop on my desk on.

I set it up with my password and everything and I feel that's the only settling in I have to do so I head to my boss's office.

I knock gently before hearing him tell me to enter and I open the door. His office is really big and luxurious, fit for his position and I can't help but admire the grey expensive furniture.

"Since you're my secretary we'll be working closely together so I need to give you some rules. The dress code here is flexible and not much is restricted so I'll let it be but if it were up to me, I'd add some adjustments starting with sleeveless shorts or dresses because I feel showing that much skin is inappropriate in such a working environment," he says pointing at my dress and I shift uncomfortably in my seat.

"I expect you to be in your office by 08 in the morning, if you come in later than that a punishment awaits you," he says and my eyes pop out of their sockets.

"What do you mean punishment?" I ask, this man seems to be taking him being the boss a little too far.

"No lunch break for that day," he says and I sigh making him roll his eyes.

"Understood sir," I respond.

"what did you think I'd say, I'll spank you if you're late?" And my cheeks flash of embarrassment.

"I didn't say that sir," I tell him and he frowns.

"This isn't fifty shades of grey miss Kabwe," he says with a wink and I smile a little thinking about the movie which is one of my all time favorites.

"Anyway, I need you to pick up the files I left on the second floor and bring them to me, we're getting to work right away," he says and I immediately head for the door.

"Miss Kabwe, you do not leave my presence until I dismiss you," he says with a straight face and I sigh.

"I'm sorry sir, such will never happen again," I say and he nods his head before pointing at the door ushering me out.

"Miss Kabwe," I hear just as I'm about to step out and I take a deep breath before turning.

"Yes sir?" I ask.

"We picked you up from the hospital earlier on, what were you there for?" He asks.

"Just a checkup, I was having a very bad headache but after taking some painkillers I'm better," I respond and he looks at me with a raised brow.

"Is that so? Well I want a secretary who's healthy and fit so if you have any health problems, I'll need to rethink working with you," he says and my heart starts pounding.

"No sir I'm very much healthy, I'm more than capable of working," I quickly say and he frowns.

"I'll send you to a trusted doctor of mine so he can run all necessary tests on you starting with pregnancy, only then will I determine your capability to work for me," he says and I sigh.

"And when will that be?" I ask my palms getting sweaty.

"There's a lot to be done this week so I'll refer you to him sometime next week, just make sure you impress me in the meantime. And who knows, I might just overlook your health issues if any," he says but that doesn't give me any comfort at all.

"Noted Sir, may I be excused now?" I ask and he nods his head yes making me walk out immediately.

"I need that pill asap," I say to Mike on the phone and I can already imagine the smirk he has on.