Scars Before Six: The Silent Battle Every Child Fights

A Memory from When I Was Five:

I still remember the time when I was just five years old. It might seem strange to remember things from such a young age, but some memories stay with us forever. Especially the ones that touched our hearts deeply.

At that age, I was a quiet child. I didn’t talk a lot, but I noticed everything. I saw how people looked at me, how they spoke, and the kind of words they used. I could feel if someone was being kind or not, even if I didn’t fully understand why.



The Kind Words That Made Me Strong:

There were some people who made me feel special. I remember those who smiled warmly at me. They bent down, looked into my eyes, and said things like, “You’re so smart,” or “You can do anything.” Some even said, “I believe in you.”

These words weren’t just simple sentences they were like little seeds of courage planted in my heart. Whenever someone treated me nicely, it made me feel important and loved.

I still remember our neighbor, Auntie Shaista. She once called me her “little scientist” because I told her how rain happens. She laughed, not to make fun of me, but with joy. I used to run to her whenever I learned something new.

Then there was my kindergarten teacher, Miss Nida. She clapped for me even when I could only remember half of a poem. She made me feel seen, like I mattered.



The Words That Hurt:

But not all memories were sweet. I also remember those who hurt me with their words or actions. Some people frowned when I asked questions. Some ignored me completely.

One uncle called me “useless” in front of guests just because I couldn’t say an English word properly. An older cousin laughed at me when I cried after a loud noise scared me. Even some teachers looked at my mistakes like I was dumb instead of just learning.

At that age, I felt everything very strongly. Every insult felt like fire. Every laugh at my pain stayed in my heart for a long time. I was just a child brave and full of questions but every harsh word made me smaller inside.



Words Leave a Mark:

Experts say that a child’s mind is like soft clay whatever falls on it leaves a mark. Dr. Bruce Perry, a famous doctor, said that the brain of a child is shaped by the emotions they feel often. The stronger the emotion, the deeper the mark.

Erik Erikson, another expert, believed that the early years are very important. This is when children build their self-confidence. But if they are always scolded, laughed at, or ignored, they start to feel like they are not good enough.

I didn’t know these theories back then, but I felt their truth.



When Doubt Started Growing:

As time passed, I started to doubt myself. I stopped asking questions. I didn’t want to speak in class anymore. I was afraid of making mistakes not because I didn’t want to learn, but because I didn’t want to be laughed at again.

The confident child that I once was, slowly became quiet and unsure. The bright part of me started to hide.



Later Understanding:

Years later, I studied psychology and child development. I learned something important: I wasn’t weak I was hurt. My personality wasn’t born broken—it was slowly broken by people who should have supported me.



What I Carry Today:

Today, I carry both types of memories. I remember the ones who gave me hope. Their kind words helped the flower of confidence grow in my heart. I also remember those who hurt me. Their harsh words became wounds wounds that nobody could see, but I could always feel.

But those tough experiences also made me stronger. I learned to understand the pain. Now, when I speak to a child, I choose my words carefully. Because I know that one sentence can change a child’s world.



What I Know Now?

Now I know one clear truth:

Children are born brave, smart, and full of dreams.
But the people around them their parents, teachers, relatives can either help them grow or break their spirit.

Children are not empty inside. They reflect what we show them.
If we show love, they reflect confidence.
If we show doubt, they reflect fear.



A Message to Adults and Children:

So, if you’re a parent, teacher, or even just an adult who talks to children remember this:

Your words become their thoughts.
Your actions shape their future.

And to the child reading this or the grown-up who still feels like a hurt child inside:

You are not what they said about you.
You are what you choose to become: brave, strong, and worthy.

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