Questions from Undergrad: Why Did I Do That?

I’ve walked across the stage. Received the fancy diploma case. Shook hands with the chancellor and forced big smiles at the flashing cameras. As I sit back into my folded chair on a breezy spring day, I think: ah, I’ve made it. I got the diploma. I got through whatever blur of a college experience that was to finally see my friends and family take me in open arms and say, “You did it!” And how did I get here? In the midst of developing within the 18-22 age group, I, as well as many others, have gone through all-nighters, poor decisions, relationship ups and downs, academic barriers, and just plain old shit hitting the fan on the journey to the good ole Bachelor’s degree. Making it here means I somehow made slightly more good decisions than bad. College is not always a soap opera and things can also go quite smoothly in the college career; however, there have been some interesting and challenging moments experienced due to some of my own making. Going through challenging obstacles and dealing with shit in fans is also somewhat a part of the college experience—make mistakes to learn from them; by doing so, you’ll come out of college a smarter, more functional human being. At any rate, I thought I would write down things that still pop up in my head to this day about my undergraduate life and think, “What the..? Wait, why did I think that was a good idea?” If you’re a first-year student or even further in your journey to the degree, maybe this will act as a warning, but even then, chances are you’ll end up dealing with your own unique bad and good decisions anyway. If you’ve graduated, perhaps this will be somewhat relatable. Or, at the very least, my odd decisions will finally be of use as entertainment.

1. Why did I think I’d like marketing?

I was a humanities major at a liberal arts college, which basically screams, “I'm gonna be unemployed!” to some people. I loved my majors, but it was time to “be realistic” I guess. I switched one of my majors to international business, which then meant I signed up for accounting and economics courses. I almost failed both classes, because I felt absolutely nothing about them, didn’t put in any effort, and as embarrassing as it sounds, they were hard to me. I stared at my books thinking, “Doing this will make people take me and my major seriously!” But honestly, news flash is that no one really seemed to give a shit as to what my majors were and I couldn’t care less about the content. It took a semester and a sudden awakening that made me jolt out of my twin bed and think, “Wait a minute, I don’t really like marketing.” I changed my major again and although it cost me a semester out of my four year plan to graduate, I do have a pretty swell job and I’m happy I personally did not go the business route.

2. Why did I hook up with that guy?

Hm. Yes. That’s a good question and I still don’t know. I repeatedly hooked up with this guy and he would sneak into my dorm room past 11 PM (I went to a religiously affiliated school where boys weren’t allowed in girls’ dorms after a certain time). He pretended I didn’t exist during the day and he wasn’t that great either, but hey, we relieved some stress, right? He always sat on the futon in the dorm room when we hooked up and therefore the futon was deemed “butt futon,” because by the time my roommate and I were done with sophomore year, a lot of bare butts had made contact with that futon.

3. What house did I wake up in?

I remember being with my friends on a Saturday night, had a moment of blackout, and then suddenly woke up on someone’s couch in a pretty, quaint house near campus. I had a blanket on me and everything. Whoever’s house that was: I’m sorry and thank you for the blanket. I guess other people have woken up in worse places.

4. Why did I pull an all-nighter just to write a five page paper?

As a freshman, I was not the most productive person. I remember I decided it would be fun to write a five page paper against the death penalty for one of my classes—and that it would be way cool if my best friend and I just talked about random things for five out of the eight hours I was awake that night. I believe we discussed the probability of reincarnation and how to “be our best selves”—quite riveting. I have pulled a few necessary all-nighters, but this one was not one of them. Needless to say, I had a fun night even if I hated myself the next day.

5. Why did I care about being sassy on Facebook instead of doing my damn school work?

Ah, procrastination. Facebook was at its peak around my freshman and sophomore year and I didn’t waste a single moment on the site. I was writing statuses like, “I’m gonna bomb this Chinese test :(," instead of actually studying for the Chinese test. I then got into an argument with another student on Facebook, which then took hours of my time when I could have just had the argument in person or not at all. I’m so glad we grow up, me included.

6. Just... why?

Other random questions include but are not limited to: why did I let that guy “kiss,” err eat my face outside of my dorm room? How was my writing that bad as a freshman? Why did I walk in six inches of snow in heels to someone’s house? Why did I stay up until 3:00 AM every night as a freshman when I had an 8:00 AM class every morning? Why did I think it was a good idea to try a gravity bong, which then made me vomit in the lawn for 20 minutes? Who let that drunk girl into the dorm room? Why did I cry when my friend dated an ex that I only dated for a month? Why didn’t I speak up more in my philosophy class? Why did I say that one awkward thing in my sociology class? Why didn’t I do more of the reading assignments for one of my favorite classes? Why did I cry for no reason? Why did I put my damp towel in my hamper during finals week and stink up the whole dorm room?