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Money and Relationship: Tips for a Healthy Marriage

Learn how to navigate relationship issues easier.

By Jonathan RiedelPublished 10 months ago 3 min read

Has money been the cause of constant arguments in your relationship? You are not alone. Research shows that money is among the most leading causes of couples’ fights. When discussing money in a relationship of any type, we will probably find tension and frustration. The level of love you have for your spouse does not prevent you from facing challenges when trying to merge your earnings. After all, both of you are from a different background and the way you were raised is completely different. This might be the reason you have diverse views on money and spending. If you are facing challenges on how to handle money in your marriage, try to use these tips to achieve a healthy relationship.

Have a Joint Bank Account

There are individuals who believe that the best thing to do in order to avoid money problems in a relationship is to have separate bank accounts. Each partner has a personal account and each pays bills separately. While it causes no harm, it may act as the foundation for major challenges between your money and marriage. Marriage is defined as a partnership which means there should be no his or her money. Separating your money can create havocs and affect your relationship. Try putting your money together and work with it as a whole.

Discuss Your Lifestyle Choices Together

We understand that each comes from a different family and has different personal lifestyle choices. Bring your views on the table and understand each choice in order to come up with ways to create a common ground. For instance, let’s assume your partner likes buying groceries at the supermarket while the other wants to shop at the neighborhood store. This might be a problem in a relationship if your income does not support expensive taste. Marriage is all about compromise and both of you can agree on the right place to buy groceries according to your earnings. The bottom line is to align your lifestyle with your actual earnings rather than what you wish it is.

Recognize Your Personality Differences

Every person has a different money mindset and opposites tend to attract. In most cases, you find that one partner in a relationship prefers working with numbers while the other does not like to be tied to numbers. One spends more while the other one prefers saving. Personality difference causes marital challenges but it should not be the main cause of money issues. Try to compromise. If you are a financial nerd, do not keep all money details to yourself and avoid bossing around your free-spirit partner. Likewise, the free-spirit spouse should not agree to everything g the partner says but should rather criticize or encourage depending on how you feel.

Keep Purchases Out In the Open

Marriage infidelity is not all about having outside affairs. Being unfaithful about your shared financial goal by having a hidden bank account is financial infidelity. Even if you have a credit card that your partner does not recognize; it is also unfaithfulness. To have a healthy marriage, it is important to be open and honest about your savings accounts. Own up to the truth and clear the air so your partner can understand your financial status commit to your shared financial goals and remember why you are doing it. if you find it hard to trust your partner with your finances maybe due to something that happened in the past, talk to a couples therapist. If you live in New York, find a therapist near you in Westchester NY to guide you on how to handle finances as a couple and prevent money from causing marital challenges.

Set Expectations as a Team

In issues of money and relationships, unmet expectations lead to a lot of conflicts. It is easy to feel unsatisfied with your partner when you have expectations of how things will go and the results turn out to be different. You might be expecting to immediately settle in your own home after marriage and end up celebrating several anniversaries in a rented apartment and become frustrated. Avoid disappointments by setting realistic expectations together to avoid unnecessary marriage issues.

In conclusion, apart from infidelity, money is another leading cause of divorces globally. If not careful money issues cause mistrust, fights and conflicts in relationships. Before entering into a committed relationship talk to a marriage counselor or a financial adviser to guide you on how you will handle your money as a couple. You can create a healthy marriage financially by keeping a joint account; understand each persona lifestyle choices; recognizing personality differences; and setting realistic expectations.

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